虽然来源于身边社会,但不可让描述方式变的太鸡毛蒜皮,拿不上台面。其实这点非常容易办到,只需要把事件中某一个具体的你,我,他,变成是客观群体,比如说people across the globe, students, they之类的人称即可。
举例的常见表达方式:
for example,/for instance,(后加句子)
Such as/ like (后加词组)
Take... as an example,
A case in point is that......
其次,在举例时还应注意尺度。
1. 应避免使用第一人称和第二人称,为了加强客观性,应将人称写成第三人称。
改正:Those people who raise pets, such as dogs and cats, are more likely to gain happiness and relieve their loneliness.(那些养宠物,例如养猫和养狗的人往往更容易获得快乐并且缓解孤独感)
2. 应避免引用一项调查研究,并同时伴有过多数据。应将数据去掉,用含糊的方法表示。
改正:There is much evidence to show that the number of people smoking has increased at an alarming rate in China. (大量证据表明。。。)
3. 应避免将例子局限在一个国家,尤其是中国。应将范围放至全世界。
改正:Many children around the world like to sit in front of the screen for a long time, leading to their poor eyesight.(在全世界,许多孩子在屏幕前待太久,导致了他们的视力减弱。
“全世界”的表达方式:around the world, all over the world, across the globe
【写作真题】The advocates of international aid believe that countries have a moral obligation to help each other, while the opponents consider it necessary, because money is misspent by the governments that receive it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
【名师献计】This aid is essential to the homeless and useful in helping recipient countries return to their normal state after major disturbances. For example, with the humanitarian relief obtained worldwide on an annual basis, victims of natural disasters (such as tsunami, drought, flood throughout the world can recover rapidly and rebuild their homeland.
此类例子往往缺乏客观性和说服力,由于第一人称的局限导致所叙述事件难免“鸡毛蒜皮”。要明白,个人不代表整体。
例:I keep my dog to avoid my loneliness and I find a lot of fun.
这样的例子让人犹如在看记叙文,和议论文很不搭调。
Most female consumers and their girlfriends shop unwisely and spend too much money.
这时主语和谓语都已经进行了改善。但是你问还有提升空间吗?当然有!
一、何为“折衷观点”和“折衷方案”。
很多雅思写作考题的提问方式都是“Do you agree or disagree?”或者“To what extent do you agree or disagree?”。很多刚刚接触雅思的学生甚至是老师认为对于这种提问方式无非就是yes或no两种答案,所以文章的观点也就只能是同意或者不同意了。其实,对于这类提问,也可以采用“折衷”的观点,即“partly agree,partly disagree”(部分同意,部分不同意)。但是前提是一定要在文章中从支持和反对的两方面都阐述一些理由,而且最好再提出一种“折衷”方案。例如,考题问“现在很多人用动物做试验,你同意吗?”,考生可以在文中分别讨论支持和反对动物试验的理由,最后提出动物试验既有好处也有坏处,这就是一种“折衷”观点。除此之外,作者还提出了是否能用动物来做试验主要是取决于试验是否能给人类生活带来显著的改善(比如帮助人类发明治疗Aids的药物),这就属于“折衷”方案。
二、“折衷观点”和“折衷方案”的几种形式。
那么如何提出“折衷观点”呢?“折衷方案”又有哪几种形式呢?下面笔者将对常见的几种安排折衷观点和折衷方案的'形式,结合相应的考题进行总结。
(1) 兴利除弊
“兴利除弊”应该是一种比较简单的折衷方案,在优缺点类文章中特别常用。即在分析完考题所涉及事物的优缺点之后,在结尾段提出“优缺点都有,我们要兴利除弊”这样的折衷方案。例如以下考题:
The advantages brought by the spread of English as a “global language” will outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
在讨论完英语作为全球性语言的利与弊之后,结尾段可以这样提出折衷观点:
To sum up, it is difficult to tell whether or not the advantages outweigh the disadvantages regarding the spread of English as a global language. What we may have to consider is how to accept this trend as positive while at the same time staying away from its drawbacks.
(2) 平衡发展
很多考题需要考生讨论两种观点,通常会有“discuss both views and give your own opinion”这样的提问要求。很多情况下,文中说到的两种观点表面上看来是完全相反,但其实并不矛盾,可以用“平衡发展”的思路来提出观点。例如考题:
Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss on both sides and give your opinion.
在讨论完发展旅游的必要性和保护文化传统的重要性之后,结尾段可以这样提出折衷方案:
We should find the right balance between tourism development and cultural protection and I believe the government has a very important role to play here. In my own country, for example, many tourist cities have made effective development plans to successfully attract large numbers of visitors while still preserving their distinct cultural traditions.
(3) 取决于……
有时在讨论完A和B两种观点以后,可以提出类似于“同意A还是B要取决于……”这样的折衷观点,前文讲到的动物试验是否可以进行取决于试验的性质就是属于这样的方案。再比如下面这个例子:
Some people think that the animals should be treated as pets; others think that animals are sources of food and clothing. What is your opinion?
在讨论完动物当宠物养的理由和动物当食物吃的理由之后,结尾段可以这样提出观点:
From my point of view, there is no absolute answer as to whether animals should be treated like pets or as sources of food and clothes. It largely depends on what kinds of animals they are. But what remains undoubted is that we should treat animals with a humane attitude and bear in mind that they are important in preserving nature’s ecological equilibrium.
(4) 解决方法
很多双边讨论型文章中所讨论的两种观点其实是可以通过某种方案来“化解矛盾”的,例如这道考题:
In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only in cities. Some people think new teachers and doctors should wok in rural areas for a few years, but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work. Discuss and give your own opinion.
在讨论完“支边”的利(缩小城乡差距)与弊(年轻人丧失自由)之后,我们可以提出这样一种解决方案:
The best solution, therefore, is not to order, but to encourage. We should instill a sense of responsibility in young people and give more incentives to those who are willing to work in difficult areas, so that we can address the problem of urban-rural disparity while respecting whatever decisions new teachers or doctors have made.
这类考生往往缺乏刨根究底的精神,总是在主旨周围绕圈子,不达中心。这也是中国考生的通病,看似八九不离十,却总也不愿把话点破,让考官怎能不又急又气。
在所有的扩展方式之中,因果推理法是最受用也是最透彻的方法。凡事先追溯到其原由,再扩展其结果,这是将主题阐述清晰、论述有力并且具有逻辑感的最佳手段。例如在“出国留学利弊”这一题目之前,若考生单纯说“有可能会使青少年学坏”,难免缺乏说服力,但若紧接着扩展“因为孩子高中毕业后思想上还不成熟,若认识不好的朋友会难以抵抗社会上不好的诱惑”,那么此论点一定会让考官眉头舒展,点头认同。由此可见,善用此推理法会让议论文如虎添翼,事半功倍。
引出原因的表达方式主要有:Because../Since.../As....
引出结果的表达方式主要有:so.../Therefore,.../Consequently,.../Accordingly,... /As a result,.../In this way,.../result in.../Thanks to.../Due to.../ Owing to..
【写作真题】Aircrafts have been increasingly used to transport fruits and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or ate out of season. Some people consider it a good trend, but some people oppose it. Discuss.
【名师献计】It is important to note that imports are now increasingly affordable to the general population. Thanks to the rapid development of the freight transport industry, air travel has become an economical mode of transport, resulting in the subsequent decrease in the cost of importing. Meanwhile, technical advance in the food processing industry has made it much easier to preserve fresh fruits and vegetables over a long-haul air flight. Because of the wide availability of imported crops, there are more varieties...
太多专业数据会给人捏造的痕迹,缺乏真实性。考官会质疑数据的出处。
例:A survey indicates that the number of people smoking has increased to as high as 65 percent in China.(一项调查显示。。。)
"65%"让文章看起来有些假,有捏造的嫌疑。"A survey"又不够具有代表性。
雅思考试有条写作指令叫做:Include relevant examples from your own experience. 所以很多考生在考试时都喜欢使用举例法(exemplification。这一扩展方式本身无可厚非,然而在使用时几种例子是不适合的。
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