2021南京中考英语作文批改【一】
1、文章杂而不乱，能做到详略得当，重点突出。
2、文章对气氛渲染充分而恰到好处，对文章重点……作了细腻而传神的刻画。
3、切合实际，蕴含着朴素而深刻的哲理，读来令人精神振奋，情绪激昂。
4、这篇文章充满了激情，从字里行间能体会到小作者的喜爱之情。全文层次清晰，语句流畅。
5、事例叙述生动、具体、趣味性强，且与前面的比喻一脉相承。最后，作者用寥寥数语，表现出了自己的情感，令人感动。
6、文章前后连贯，形成完整的形象。
7、文章语言清新活泼，描写能抓住事物的主要特征，篇幅短小精悍，值得一读。
8、本文内容生动丰富，语言新颖清爽，结构独特合理。
9、文章有详有略，言之有序，内容生动具体，不失为一篇佳作。
10、特写镜头别开生面，情趣盎然。全文充满童心童趣，读来倍感亲切。
11、文章能过清新有趣的语言，描写了童年的事。字里行间，充满童年真童趣，欢声笑语不绝于耳，不失为一篇佳作。
12、详略得当，虚实相生，是本文的两大特色，内容更丰富、更生动。
13、全文清新秀逸，亲切委婉，朴素而不落俗淘，值得借见。
14、全文语言生动准确，情节精彩曲折，仿佛将读者带进了开心乐园，令人眉开眼笑。
15、全文通俗易懂，趣味性强。
16、全文眉目清晰，生动紧凑，趣味性强。
17、注意观察具体事物，并展开合适的想象，这是本文的成功之处。
18、文章融情于景，边绘景边抒情，善于运用打比方的手法，使文章生动具体
19、文章内容新颖，结构合理，流畅连贯，自然通达。
20、本文取材真实生活，选材恰当，很有新意，段落分明，过渡自然，情趣盎然，可读性强。
21、全文语言流畅，行文舒展自如，自然洒脱，称得上是一篇较成功的之作。
22、本文语言虽然并不华丽，但却极为准确生动，情感丰富而真实，读来津津有味。
23、文章的结构简洁合理，作者对原文的理解也十分深刻透彻。全文语言铿锵有力，掷地有声，读来令人热血沸腾，心潮澎湃。
24、这篇作文取材新颖，构思奇妙，语言生动活泼。字里行间透露出清新的生活气息和儿童情趣。
25、文章按事情发展的顺序，记叙了……的事，语言比较流畅，层次较清楚，自始自终显得其乐融融。
26、全文节奏明快，语言清新，始终洋溢着诙谐与风趣，读来其乐无穷。
27、全文叙事集中，不枝不蔓，语言朴实流畅，感情真挚感人。
28、通篇文章语调轻松幽默，显得妙趣横生，读来令人爱不释手。
29、作者构思巧，善于选点展开，行文跌宕起伏，耐人寻味。
30、全文可圈可点的佳句不少，给文章增添了些文学情趣
2021南京中考英语作文批改【二】
导入：
第1段：Recently we’ve had a discussion about whether we should... (导入话题
Our opinions are divided on this topic.(观点有分歧
正文：
第2段：Most of the students are in favour of it.(正方观点
Here are the reasons. First... Second... Finally...(列出2~3个赞成的理由
第3段：However, the others are strongly against it. (反方观点
Their reasons are as follows. In the first place... What’s more... In addition...(列出2~3个反对的理由
结论：
第4段：Personally speaking, the advantages overweigh the disadvantages, for it will do us more harm than good, so I support it.(个人观点 オ
2021南京中考英语作文批改【三】
1。 头绪分明，脉络清楚
写好记叙文，首先要头绪分明，脉络清楚，明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析，弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程，然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”，但动笔之前，围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。
2。 突出中心，详略得当
在文章的框架确定后，对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍，应该从表现文章主题的需要出发，分清主次，定好详略。要突出重点，详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节，略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化，使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题，也需要一定的技巧。如：
One night a man came to our house and told me， "There is a family with eight children。 They have not eaten for days。" I took some food with me and went。
When I finally came to that family， I saw the faces of those little children disfigured （破坏外貌） by hunger。 There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces， just the deep pain of hunger。
I gave the rice to the mother。 She divided the rice in two， and went out， carrying half the rice。 When she came back， I asked her， "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer， "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"
3。 用活语言，准确生动
记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动，又要表现力强，这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动，其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。
原文：
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away。 He was soon lost among people and traffic。 He could not find the way back home and started crying。 Just then， two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying。 They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened。 Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived。 The two students decided to take him home。 Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound。 She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money， but they didn＇t take it。 She served them with tea but they left。
修改后：
The other day， five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street。 After some time， he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home。 But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic。 When he could not find the way home， he started and crying。 Just then， two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop。 They immediately went up to him。
"Little boy， why are you standing here crying?" they asked。
"I want Mom， I go home。" said the boy， still crying。
"Don＇t worry， we＇ll send you home。"
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy＇s house。 With the help of a policeman， they finally found it。
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound， she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house。 Gratefully， she offered them some money， saying it was a way to express her thanks， but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea。
