1.词数:100左右:
2.参考词汇:房租Tent(n..
初稿
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money -it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
自评
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:23
互评(刘兴顺评)
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:23
互评(战越评)
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:
互评(李春霞评)
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:
暑假里的一天,晚饭后我们全家在看电视。爸爸突然对我说:“我们明天去看长江好吗?” “好呀, 太好了!”我兴奋地大叫。 “可是我们怎么去呢?” 爸爸笑着对我说:“我们走着去吧,看看你能不能吃得了苦。” 我赶紧把地图找了出来, “哇,这么远啊,要走多长时间啊?” 我真担心自己能不能走这么长的路, 但是心里又十分地期盼着这次行动,这可是一件我从来没有做过的事情。
第二天,天气很热,吃过早饭我们就出发了。 走在路上, 太阳火辣辣的, 晒得我们汗流浃背, 没有阴凉的地方可以躲避, 带的水也喝光了, 已经走了几个小时, 我们又渴又累, 皮肤也被晒得发烫, 我真的快要坚持不住了, 心想:“还是回去吧, 家里有冷饮吃, 在空调房子里那该多爽啊。”
正当我要打退堂鼓的时候, 爸爸好像明白一切似的,笑着对我说:“马上就到了, 你看, 你已经走了那么长的路, 胜利就在前面了, 如果这个时候你放弃了, 那么我们前面几个小时的辛苦都白费了, 再坚持一下就是胜利了!” 我觉得爸爸的话很有道理, 于是我又埋头坚持走了起来。
就这样, 我克服了自己没有想到也从没有遇到过的困难。 经过七个多小时的徒步行走, 我和爸爸终于到达了长江与黄浦江的汇合处, 一望无际的长江宽广辽阔,黄色的`长江与青绿色的黄浦江平静地汇合在一起, 形成了一条水色分明的弧线,真是太美了。 我们坐在江边, 看着江面上来往的船只和江边嬉戏的水鸟, 徐徐的江风吹拂着我的头发, 真是令人惬意。
成功总是最后以分钟到访的客人, 今天我可是等到了这位客人!
我想, 在奥运会上应该增加一个项目, 就是徒步行走, 谁能走得最长最远, 谁就是冠军, 这可是一项既赛体力又比意志的项目啊, 到时候我也去参加比赛, 我会努力坚持, 像运动员一样站在奖台上领取奖牌的时候该是多么光荣啊!
本文格式正确,意思表述完整,行文流畅自然。作者在写作过程中注意长短句并用,还使用了以‘which,’引导的非限定性定语从句,从而使文章层次分明,富于变化,不愧为考场佳作。
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