假如我是一滴晶莹透亮、圆润的水,我会一直跟着妈妈的身边,一直为妈妈服务。
当妈妈早上起床的时候,张不开眼睛,我会顽皮地跳进妈妈的眼睛里,为妈妈润润眼睛。当妈妈去卫生间化妆的时候,我会变成化妆瓶中的一滴水,让你把我喷洒到妈妈的脸上,这样,妈妈就会变得格外美丽。
当你去上班的时候,我也会跟随在你的身边,跟你一起去公司,等到你口渴了,我就会变成杯子中的一滴水,此时你一定要喝下去,因为我吸取了日月的精华,正在散发着……
当你吃完中饭下班的时候,我会变成叶子上的一滴露珠,在那儿跳舞。
当你回家的时候,你有可能会着急的说:“孩子,你在哪里呀?”
我只会在那儿悄悄的笑,却一声也不响。
但是,你会猜出这几滴水就是你的孩子吗?
这时,我又会突然变成原来的样子,求你讲个故事给我听。
你有可能会说:“你到哪儿去了?你这坏孩子。”
“我不告诉你,妈妈。”我只会说。
1。 头绪分明,脉络清楚
写好记叙文,首先要头绪分明,脉络清楚,明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析,弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程,然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”,但动笔之前,围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。
2。 突出中心,详略得当
在文章的框架确定后,对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍,应该从表现文章主题的需要出发,分清主次,定好详略。要突出重点,详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节,略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化,使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题,也需要一定的技巧。如:
One night a man came to our house and told me, "There is a family with eight children。 They have not eaten for days。" I took some food with me and went。
When I finally came to that family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured (破坏外貌) by hunger。 There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger。
I gave the rice to the mother。 She divided the rice in two, and went out, carrying half the rice。 When she came back, I asked her, "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer, "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"
3。 用活语言,准确生动
记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动,又要表现力强,这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动,其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。
原文:
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away。 He was soon lost among people and traffic。 He could not find the way back home and started crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying。 They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened。 Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived。 The two students decided to take him home。 Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound。 She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money, but they didn't take it。 She served them with tea but they left。
修改后:
The other day, five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street。 After some time, he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home。 But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic。 When he could not find the way home, he started and crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop。 They immediately went up to him。
"Little boy, why are you standing here crying?" they asked。
"I want Mom, I go home。" said the boy, still crying。
"Don't worry, we'll send you home。"
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy's house。 With the help of a policeman, they finally found it。
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound, she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house。 Gratefully, she offered them some money, saying it was a way to express her thanks, but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea。
假如我是一滴水,我会来到大沙漠,率领兄弟姐妹一起灌溉大沙漠。把这天涯无芳草的人间地狱,变成人间天堂;让漫天飞舞的黄沙变成小雨珠,把炙热的大地变得欣欣向荣,让这成为世界最美的风景线。
假如我是一滴水,我会去干旱地区,看看那里什么样。用我生命去救助那里千千万万的生命,我会让凋零的花朵重新绽放,让干裂的土地再度肥沃,让枯萎的树木长出嫩芽重获新生;让这里的人有干净的水喝,有我养育的农作物来充饥!让这里的生物充满希望之光。
假如我是一滴水,我要去荒山,用我们甘甜的乳汁去浇灌荒山,让漫无边际的黄土长出绿茵茵的小草,苍翠的青松,秀丽的楠竹,把红彤彤的苹果,金灿灿的凤梨,绿油油的橘子还有灯笼一样的柿子全都挂在树上,让人们唾手可得。
假如我是一滴水,我一定要去发电厂,奉献自己的光和热,让最偏僻的小山村也能感受到温暖和光明,让老人在方寸的电视里看到广阔的世界,让孩子在明亮的灯光下更加刻苦地学习,让每个人的脸上都有灿烂的笑容。
假如我是一滴水,我要用我的生命去养育幽香的兰花,雍容的牡丹,冰清的荷花,傲骨的梅花,把地球母亲打扮得漂漂亮亮,让她成为宇宙第一的星球。
虽然我是一滴水,但我决不会是罪恶的波汹涛去淹没农民的庄稼,摧毁人们的家园。我一定做个可爱的小水滴在大海里淌佯,在江河里跳舞,在小河里散步,在小溪里嬉戏过着自由自在幸福快乐的生活。
假如我是一滴水,我也恳求人类爱护我,珍惜我,让我做一滴纯净的甘美的水,让我更好地为人类服务!
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