我自己从来没想到需要辩白,但最近一年来常常被人议论到,似乎被列为文化汉奸之一,自己也弄得莫名其妙。我所写的文章从来没有涉及政治,也没有拿过任何津贴。想想看我惟一的嫌疑要末就是所谓“大东亚文学者大会”第三届曾经叫我参加,报上登出的名单内有我;虽然我写了辞函去(那封信我还记得,因为很短,仅只是:“承聘为第三届大东亚文学者大会代表,谨辞。张爱玲谨上。”报上仍旧没有把名字去掉。
至于还有许多无稽的谩骂,甚而涉及我的私生活,可以辩驳之点本来非常多。而且即使有这种事实,也还牵涉不到我是否有汉奸嫌疑的问题;何况私人的事本来用不着向大众剖白,除了对自己家的家长之外仿佛我没有解释的义务。所以一直缄默着。同时我也实在不愿意耗费时间与精神去打笔墨官司,徒然搅乱心思,耽误了正当的工作。但一直这样沉默着,始终没有阐明我的地位,给社会上一个错误的印象,我也觉得是对不起关心我的前途的人,所以在小说集重印的时候写了这样一段作为序。反正只要读者知道了就是了。《传奇》里面新收进去的五篇,《留情》、《鸿鸾禧》、《红玫瑰与白玫瑰》、《等》、《桂花蒸阿小悲秋》,初发表的时候有许多草率的地方,实在对读者感到抱歉,这次付印之前大部分都经过增删。还有两篇改也无从改起的,只好不要了。
我不会做诗的,去年冬天却做了两首,自己很喜欢,又怕人家看了说“不知所云”;原想解释一下,写到后来也成了一篇独立的散文。现在我把这篇《中国的日夜》放在这里当作跋,虽然它也并不能够代表这里许多故事的共同的背景,但作为一个传奇未了的“余韵”,似乎还适当。
封面是请炎樱设计的。借用了晚清的一张时装仕女图,画着个女人幽幽地在那里弄骨牌,旁边坐着奶妈,抱着孩子,仿佛是晚饭后家常的一幕。可是栏杆外,很突兀地,有个比例不对的人形,像鬼魂出现似的,那是现代人,非常好奇地孜孜往里窥视。如果这画面有使人感到不安的地方,那也正是我希望造成的气氛。
有个朋友问我:“无产阶级的故事你会写么?”我想了一想,说:“不会。要么只有阿妈她们的\'事,我稍微知道一点。”后来从别处打听到,原来阿妈不能算无产阶级。幸而我并没有改变作风的计划,否则要大为失望了。
文人讨论今后的写作路径,在我看来是不能想象的自由——仿佛有充分的选择的余地似的。当然,文苑是广大的,游客买了票进去,在九曲桥上拍了照,再一窝蜂去参观动物园,说走就走,的确可羡慕。但是我认为文人该是园里的一棵树,天生在那里的,根深蒂固,越往上长,眼界越宽,看得更远,要往别处发展,也未尝不可以,风吹了种子,播送到远方,另生出一棵树,可是那到底是很艰难的事。
初学写文章,我自以为历史小说也会写,普洛文学,新感觉派,以至于较通俗的“家庭伦理”,社会武侠,言情艳情,海阔天空,要怎样就怎样。越到后来越觉得拘束。譬如说现在我得到了两篇小说的材料,不但有了故事与人物的轮廓,连对白都齐备,可是背景在内地,所以我暂时不能写。到那里去一趟也没有用,那样的匆匆一瞥等于新闻记者的访问。最初印象也许是最强烈的一种。可是,外国人观光燕子窝,印象纵然深,我们也不能从这角度去描写燕子窝顾客的心理吧?
走马看花固然无用,即使去住两三个月,放眼搜集地方色彩,也无用,因为生活空气的浸润感染,往往是在有意无意中的,不能先有个存心。文人只须老老实实生活着,然后,如果他是个文人,他自然会把他想到的一切写出来。他写所能够写的,无所谓应当。
为什么常常要感到改变写作方向的需要呢?因为作者的手法常犯雷同的毛病,因此嫌重复。以不同的手法处理同样的题材既然办不到,只能以同样的手法适用于不同的题材上——然而这在实际上是不可能的,因为经验上不可避免的限制。有几个人能够像高尔基像石挥那样到处流浪,哪一行都混过?其实这一切的顾虑都是多余的吧?只要题材不太专门性,像恋爱结婚,生老病死,这一类颇为普遍的现象,都可以从无数各各不同的观点来写,一辈子也写不完。如果有一天说这样的题材已经没的可写了,那想必是作者本人没的可写了。即使找到了崭新的题材,照样的也能够写出滥调来。
“两耳不闻窗外事,一心只读圣贤书”这句话教育我做什么事都要一心一意,不能三心二意。它让我常常想起。
记得那天晚上,我正在写作业,耳边突然传来一阵阵歌声,我想起,爸爸正在楼下看电视。再一听,那不是我最喜欢的歌——《想象之中》嘛!于是我也跟着哼了起来。渐渐地,我手里的笔快了,不一会儿就把作业写完了。等到爸爸来检查我的作业时,一看我的作业写得乱七八糟的`,甚至作业里还有歌词,顿时火冒三丈。厉声说道:“你难道不懂‘两耳不闻窗外事,一心只读圣贤书’吗?你是做作业,还是听歌的呀?真是心不在焉,重做!”没办法,我只好再重新做一次。虽然我被爸爸狠狠地批评了一顿,但我也明白了:学习要认真,只有“两耳不闻窗外事,一心只读圣贤书”才能专注学习。
这件事给了我很大的触动。在学习中,我也把爸爸的话记得牢牢的。有一次,老师不在教室,班里的“捣蛋鬼”也坐不住了。叽叽喳喳叫个不停。而我没有随波逐流,又想我践行了这句话:“两耳不闻窗外事,一心只读圣贤书”,于是,我就专心地写起了作业,写完后,,我又认真地看起了书,丝毫没被外界的嘈杂所干扰。等到老师来了,沸腾的班里顿时变得鸦雀无声。可老师还是看见了一言也没发的我,还表扬了我。此刻,我又想起了那句话:两耳不闻窗外事,一心只读圣贤书。是这句话指引我,让我得到了老师的表扬。
正是爸爸教育我的这句话:两耳不闻窗外事,一心只读圣贤书引导我让我受到了老师的表扬;让我做事不再三心二意;让我认真地对待每一件事……这简短而有意义的一句话。
一年前回上海来,对于久违了的上海人的第一个印象是白与胖。在香港,广东人十有八九是黝黑瘦小的,印度人还要黑,马来人还要瘦。看惯了他们,上海人显得个个肥白如瓠,像一代乳粉的广告。
第二个印象是上海人之“通”。香港的大众文学可以用脍炙人口的公共汽车站牌“如要停车,乃可在此”为代表。上海就不然了。初到上海,我时常由心里惊叹出来:“到底是上海人!”我去买肥皂,听见一个小学徒向他的同伴解释:“喏,就是张勋的勋,功勋的勋,不是”薰风的薰。《新闻报》上登过一家百货公司的开幕广告,用并散并行的阳湖派体裁写出切实动人的文字,关于选择礼品不当的危险,结论是:“友情所系,讵不大哉!”似乎是讽刺,然而完全是真话,并没有夸大性。
上海人之“通”并不限于文理清顺,世故练达。到处我们可以找到真正的性灵文字。去年的小报上有一首打油诗,作者是谁我已经忘了,可是那首诗我永远忘不了。两个女伶请作者吃了饭,于是他就做诗了:“樽前相对两头牌,张女云姑一样佳。塞饱肚皮连赞道:难觅任使踏穿鞋!”多么可爱的,曲折的自我讽嘲!这里面有无可奈何,有容忍与放任——由疲乏而产生的放任,看不起人,也不大看得起自己,然而对于人与已依旧保留着亲切感。更明显地表示那种态度的有一副,是我在电车上看见的,用指甲在车窗的黑漆上刮出字来:“公婆有理,男女平权。”一向是“公说公有理,婆说婆有理”,由他们去吧!各有各的理。“男女平等”,闹了这些年,平等就平等吧!——又是由疲乏而起的放任。那种满脸油汗的笑,是标准中国幽默的特征。
上海人是传统的中国人加上近代高压生活的磨练,新旧文化种种畸形产物的交流,结果也许是不甚健康的,但是这里有一种奇异的智慧。
谁都说上海人坏,可是坏得有分寸。上海人会奉承,会趋炎附势,会混水里摸鱼,然而,因为他们有处世艺术,他们演得不过火。关于“坏”,别的我不知道,只知道一切的小说都离不了坏人。好人爱听坏人的故事,坏人可不爱听好人的故事。因此我写的故事里没有一个主角是个“完人”。只有一个女孩子可以说是合乎理想的,善良、慈悲、正大,但是,如果她不是长得美的话,只怕她有三分讨人厌。美虽美,也许读者们还是要向她叱道:“回到童话里去!”在《白雪公主》与《玻璃鞋》里,她有她的地盘。上海人不那么幼稚。我为上海人写了一本香港传奇,包括《泥香屑》、《一炉香》、《二炉香》、《茉莉香片》、《心经》、《琉璃瓦》、《封锁》、《倾城之恋》七篇。写它的时候,无时无刻不想到上海人,因为我是试着用上海人的观点来察看香港的。只有上海人能够懂得我的文不达意的地方。
我喜欢上海人,我希望上海人喜欢我的书。
初稿
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money -it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
自评
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:23
互评(刘兴顺评)
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:23
互评(战越评)
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:
互评(李春霞评)
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:
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