Dear parents,
“You always say that I am naive. In your eyes, I am always the little girl who will never grow up”. This is my favorite song and also the sound from the bottom of my heart. You made me feel so lucky to be your child. But I find our hearts getting further apart as time goes by.
You strictly forbid me to do entertaining activities even if I finished my homework, such as watching TV or playing computer games. Based on this, I couldn’t get any grade less than A. It is said that genius only means hard-working all one’s life. But I think combining exertion is the best way for learning.
The most important thing to me was that I feel frustrated for having few friends to confide in due to your strict rules. I can’t have a play date, participate in a school play or even choose my own extracurricular activities. Who will accept such a boring and troublesome person? I am just an ordinary girl who can’t stand loneliness, so I always feel contradictory.
On the one hand, I’m grateful to have you in my life, to disappoint you was the least I would do. On the other hand, what you asked for me made me felt like a puppet rather than a real person. I appreciated your efforts to pull me away from a self-indulgent life, but your obsessively extravagant strictness has pushed me into an isolated and insensible one. I need a little freedom so that I will concentrate on something I really interested in.
Father and mother, these words were hid in my deep heart for a long time. I love you, and I believe if you change some harsh rules. I will have a wonderful life.
Best wishes.
Yours, daughter
Dear parents,
How is everything these days? I miss you very much.
I am very happy at my new shool. My teachers and shoolmates are very friendly to me .They ofen help me with my study.Now I am not worried about my English because I make a lot of progress in it anb I become more and more intrested in it. My shool life here is also wonderful. I take part in many part-time activities . I make many friends there and learn lots of learning methods.
Now final exam is coming. I am busy preparing it . I will try my best to do well in it.
I am glad that the summer holiday is coming. I want to take part in a GREEN CITY GROUP.I think I should make a contribution to protecting our environment.
It's hot these days but I can take good care of myself.You should pay more attention to your health.
Best wishes to you.
Love you,
XXX
长时间以来,人们普遍认为:中国的传统教育是不善于表扬和鼓励孩子,这使很多孩子缺乏自信,有不少教育专家就呼吁,要学会鼓励孩子!
于是,不知何时起,“无批评教育”成了大家共同膜拜的教育方式。老师被要求尊重学生,不准批评或变相地批评孩子;家长更是将这一理论发挥到极致,孩子稍有成就便大加赞扬,甚至有了错误也不敢批评,唯恐打消掉孩子的自信心,因为“树大自然直”吗,小时有点错误算不得什么。
但是,现在又出现了另一种极端:孩子说不得了。
孩子说不得了
“现在的孩子越来越不敢批评了。”一位在教育第一线奋斗了十几年的老班主任感慨道,她向笔者介绍了这样两个案例:
一、上课时,老师发现有一位学生拿着喷水器对着另一位学生不停地喷洒,老师很生气,于是批评了这位学生,并要没收他的喷水器。然而,让老师意想不到的事情发生了,这位同学竟然一声不吭走到自己的座位,拿起自己的喷水器使劲地往地上一扔,然后头也不回地走出教室,居然比老师的脾气还大……
二、一名女生没有完成作业,她的班主任简单地批评了几句,没想到中午这名女生就从学校“出走”了,下午班主任和学校领导陪着家长四处找她。
“经受不起挫折,这是现在孩子普遍存在的一个问题,而且年龄越小这个问题越突出。”长期从事中学生心理咨询工作的济南一中张桂薇老师感慨道。
“缺少批评是造成这一问题的`主要原因”,张老师接着分析,“当前独生子女生活条件优越、个性强、任性、心理承受能力较差。很多父母对孩子百依百顺,喜欢包办代替,孩子如果想要什么,家长必须立刻做到,这种缺少批评的教育方式所造成的后果就是许多学生经不起挫折和失败。”
缺少批评的教育是不完整的
“没有批评的教育是不完整的教育。”山东师范大学教育学博士王美芳教授分析道,“赏识和批评,就像鸟的两翼,缺一不可。每个学生都有可以赏识的地方,自然也有可批评之处。正确的赏识,可以给学生以极大鼓舞;恰当的批评,也会促使学生进步。孩子没有经历挫折“会变得脆弱异常”,因此,要让孩子的生活中有禁区,他们犯了错误要受到惩罚,要让孩子懂得有些规则是无法动摇的,有些过失是要自己承担后果的。”
王教授接着举了几个例子,如毁坏公私财物必须赔偿,作业不能及时完成就不能跟别人一样参加课外活动,值日不认真就该再来一次,无故逃学、旷课、迟到必须反省改正等等。只有让学生为自己的一言一行负责,才能让他明辨是非。如果一味“赏识”而不敢批评、不敢惩罚,只会扭曲学生的认识,是对学生的不负责。
批评要注意方式
一般来说,孩子获得了成功或犯错误的时候,恰恰是教育的最佳时机,这是需要大智慧的,要善于捕捉教育时机。专家认为,孩子易于接受的批评方式应当具有以下两个特点。一要充满爱心。教育的艺术是爱的艺术,作为教育手段之一的惩戒,与体罚、心罚截然不同。如果说一个教师要惩罚考试成绩差的学生,是因为这个学生的考分大大地拖了全班平均分,影响了教师的个人业绩,那么,无论这个教师采用何种教育手段,都是错误的。
二要因人而异。能被孩子接受的惩戒教育方式,必然是能针对学生实际、走入学生心灵的方式。比如,同样是犯一种性质的错误,对缺乏耐心的孩子可以罚拼七巧板,对缺乏亲情的罚写一封家书,对不爱体育活动的罚跑步等等。
Beloved father:
It’s a long time no contacting with you since last e-mail. And I miss you so much. Recently I luckily turn to the third officer working on board MV Blue Whale,which is a container ship. I intend to introduce you what Ido on this big vessel in this letter.
I am the third officer working in the deck department. As you know, the third officer is responsible to the master for the proper performance of his assigned bridge watchstanding and navigational duties.
On board, my first daily work is wathckeeping from 8 to 12 and from 20 to 24. my second daily work is in charge of the maintance of the fire-fighting equipment and life-saving equipment. The third , I am also responsible for fire and boat drills, I have to design a muster list and make crew to know the best escape route clearly. Additionally, there are also some simple things I have to do in daily work. For example, I have to assist the Chief Officer in supervising cargo handling operation 、to measure the draft at the discretion of the Chief Officer or the Master、to assist the Master on the bridge with anchoring and mooring and unmooring operation is underway and so on.
In the end, I strongly believed that you must be very familiar with my special work through what I said. And I hope you can stand my back and make me stronger. We will have a reunion soon.
Your ,ZJH
亲爱的女儿(思瑜:
你好!
首先,你能进入季延中学初中部学习,说明你是一个优秀的学生,你不但可爱,而且是个乖巧、懂事的女孩,我和你的妈妈为你感到骄傲,你也应该像我们一样为自己感到自豪。
你出生后,当我第一次抱起你的时候,我就明白了,你是我一生中最重要最爱的人,你的父母会尽一切所能为你创造一个舒适、安全的学习生活环境,会尽一切所能保护你健康成长,会倾注所有心血在你身上,任何时候都不要怀疑我们对你的爱。
初中是一个从儿童进入青少年的重要阶段,是人生价值取向的起点,你的任务就是不断的.学习、学习、再学习。学习要尽力,但不要给自己太大的压力,我们对你的学习成绩没有什么要求,但我们相信你是一个有上进心的人,你是一个喜欢学习的人,我们衡量学习成绩的标准取决于你的努力程度。
要学会交朋友,用真诚去交朋友,同时也挑选一些真诚的同学跟他们亲近,不必在乎他们的成绩,不必在乎他们的背景,不自高、不自卑,要诚恳、要自信,用最大的善意去对待人,你是一个真诚的人,相信任何人都会喜欢与你交朋友的。
要学会感恩,你有一个爱你的家庭,有一所高标准的学校,有一间充满温馨的班级,有一批辛勤教导你的老师,有一个真心负责的班主任,有一群活泼可爱的同伴,你应该要感到幸运,你应该要感谢身边的人,感谢那些教导过、帮助过、支持过你的人。
健康的身体是无价的资本,在努力学习的过程中,你要注意加强体育锻炼,多游泳、多跳绳、多跑步,注意用眼卫生,谨防近视。
最后,祝你
健康快乐。
爱你的爸爸、妈妈
十二月七日
小儿菲龙:
近好!
你的来信已收悉,看着你健康的成长、懂事,全家人都很欣慰。在我们的幸福家庭中,你是我们的心中宝。
时间过的真快,你已经以优秀的成绩在晋江市第一实验小学读完6年且毕业了,并以好成绩考上了晋江市名校季延中学。初中这3年是人生中非常关键的一个阶段,在小学只要读好两科主要科目,可到了初中就要读好七科主要科目,这是必须要通过努力地学习才能完成的一个任务。而且又是你们青少年长身体,学做人做事的最重要阶段。
儿子,在这初中3年里,你要认真学习,克服困难,尊敬师长,团结同学,遵守校规。听取邓班主任和其他老师的教导,并通过自身的努力,你才会学业有成,成为季延中学的优秀生。所谓晋江精神“爱拼才会赢”。
相信我儿做得到。
祝:
学业有成!健康快乐!
你永远的支持者:聪伟携家人
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