Nowadays, many famous university campuses have become one of the popular tourist attractions. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that every year thousands and thousands of middle school students visit Tsing Hua University and Peking University and other famous universities in China. In the place far away from the capital city, the local students also visit the universities famous in their own province.
So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to open the university campus for tourists? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing for the students to visit the famous university campus in that it can enable the middle students to get more information about the university and they can have enough time and opportunity to prepare themselves with the chance to get into the university. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the public tourism will have negative effect on the universities because it will not only do harm to the environment but also to the intellectual atmosphere.
In my opinion, the tourism to the universities is not a good thing. The campus is mainly a place for study. With the increasing tourism on the campus, it will ruin the spiritual atmosphere in this learning field.
首先,提纯范文 “谋篇布局”及结构模板。
第一段:提出问题或现象。Nowadays, … … have become one of the popular … …. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that … ….
第二段:正反列举人们的看法。So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to … …? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing for … … in that … …. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, … … will have negative effect on … … because it will not only do harm to … … but also to … ….
第三段:摆明自己观点。In my opinion, … … is not a good thing. … … With the increasing … …, it will ruin … ….
其次,提纯范文“段落写作”。
段落写作分为统一性,连贯性和完整性三方面。
统一性(unity:段落开头的主题句应该做到不可太宽泛,也不可太具体,做到有较强的概括性才能使下文做到有的放矢的展开。范文第二段首句以设问的方式提出一个问题is it a good or bad thing就有很强的概况性。下文自然会一方面从好的方面说明,另一方面从坏的方面说明。
连贯性(coherence:关联词是使文章段落之间相互连贯的必要条件。范文中nowadays, on one hand, on the other hand, in one’s opinion即以“启承转合”递进的顺序是文章条理清晰,层层展开。
完整性(completeness:以设问句“So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to open the university campus for tourists?”开头,这是平时较少运用的段落写作方式——设问法。“On one hand … …. On the other hand, … ….”是段落写作分类列举法的典型用法。
再次,提纯范文“句子写作”。
1. It has been shown that … …
类似句型:It is known to us that … …
It is said that … …
It is reported that … …
It is controversial that … …
2. “… … Tsing Hua University and Peking University and other famous universities … …。”——并列句。并列句是简单的复杂句。但其运用方法并不简单,注意练习并接句的使用,会使句子显的更加饱满。
3. enable v. 使…能够
I gave him full directions to enable him to find the house.
4. in that = because
表“因为”的连词还有since, for, as,如:
The boy was absent because he was ill. = The boy was absent since he was ill.
此句以我们常用的人称开头,句式简单,我们可以通过把since提前改变句式,如:
Since the boy was ill, he was absent. 句式多样化。
最后,提纯范文“措辞”。
1. attraction n. 具有吸引力的事情。
2. thousands and thousands 成千上万的
形容“多”的表达方法:millions and millions
a multitude of
a great deal of
a large amount of
plenty of
many a
3. “some people argued that … …”中的“argue”并不是“讨论,辩论”的意思,而是“认为”。
I argue that … …
I maintain that … …
I claim that … …
I insist that … … = I think that … …
I hold that … …
I assert that … …
I assume that … …
4. negative adj. 否定的.,相反的
hold negative view = hold opposite opinions
5. phenomenon n. 现象
social phenomenon 社会现象
natural phenomenon 自然现象
6. intellectual adj. 聪明的= intelligent, bright, clever
(选词策略:使用最近所学的单词,如intellectual > intelligent > bright > clever
在分析并掌握范文之后,我们需要运用范文知识练习仿写。笔者运用2005年12月范文中的模板结构仿写了2006年12月的四级作文,以供参考:
1. 许多人喜欢在除夕夜看春节晚会
2. 但有些人提出取消春节晚会
3. 我的看法
Nowadays, the Spring Festival Evening has become one of the popular topic and attractions during every traditional New Year’s Eve. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that every year thousands and thousands of Chinese people appear to be accustomed to enjoying the sights and sounds of a brilliant feast, while gathering with their beloved family.
However, an increasing number of people have voiced different opinions towards it. So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to cancel the Spring Festival Evening? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing to amuse the audience in that it is composed by a numerous adequate programs, such as the emotional song, the graceful dance, the funny short sketch, the amusing comic dialogue, the delightful magic, and the marvelous acrobatics and so on. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the Spring Festival Evening will have negative effect on the family harmony because it will not only do harm to having the talks between family members on the Spring Festival Eve but also to enjoying the gourmet meal in a fancy restaurant.
In my opinion, the Spring Festival Evening is a good thing. It may not remain a must for all people, but it can bring us a strong sense of festivity and serve as an alternative among the variety of holiday activities. With the increasing audience of the Spring Festival Evening, it will ruin a distinctive culture during the Spring Festival vacation.
采用第一人称使读者产生真实、亲切的感觉,便于表达自己的感情;用第三人称写虽不受时间和空间的限制,能够自由灵活地反映客观内容,但较难驾驭,没有第一人称写起来亲切感人。
每一段时光都有它独特的味道。青春,是酸涩的青苹果,承载着我们无忧无虑的记忆。即使有些事,已经好久不曾重演,我却依旧记得那舌尖上的味道。那种记忆,挥之不去。
记得爷爷最爱吃馒头,奶奶一年要不停地做馒头。当那蒸气慢慢地向上钻,跑到天花板上时,烟雾笼罩了整个厨房,也在我的牙缝间穿梭。往往这是我最快乐的时候。奶奶会把做馒头剩下的已经发酵的面团放在桌上,拿擀面杖来来回回地抚平,然后改大刀切成长条,最后切成一小片一小片的。旁边的火烧得很旺,水咕咕地冒泡了,奶奶把一大把面洒下去,拿勺子来回搅几下。最后不紧不慢地盖上锅盖。往往这个时候,我便会踮着脚,拼命盯着锅沿,想看面什么时候能熟。
当我专心致志等的时候,奶奶已准备好配料,麻利地掀开锅盖,依次丢进配料,再淋入麻油,放入香菜。一股好闻的面香立刻钻入我的鼻底。不等奶奶说,我便飞快地坐到椅子上,拿好了筷子。奶奶见我这样总是先慈祥地笑一下,然后吩咐我慢点吃。我哪里听得进去,张开嘴就往里送,立刻我舌尖都麻了。那面条刚碰到舌尖,一点微微的辣和酸便在口腔是跳起了双人舞,它们陶醉了味蕾,伴着麻油的香味,蔓延到我的全身,我抱着碗“呼呼”地往下灌。当时的我狼吞虎咽,哪里顾得去仔细品尝。
也许是看到我对面条是如此地痴迷,后来妈妈也学会了制作馒头与宽面。每天早上我才起床,厨房里早已是热气腾腾。等我洗刷出来,一笼还冒着热气的馒头便早已经端放在桌面上。尤其是那一碗碗的宽面,虽然从来都是不变的美味,但上面的佳肴却天天不同,有时上面盛一个鸡蛋,有时上面放几片青菜,一看到,便会顿时便激起我的食欲。
一碗面条,早已不只是填饱肚子的美食,而是传递情感的一种方式,透过那舌尖上的美味,总会有一种温情悄悄地进入我的心房。
每一段时光都有它独特的味道。青春,是酸涩的青苹果,承载着我们无忧无虑的记忆。即使有些事,已经好久不曾重演,我却依旧记得那舌尖上的味道。那种记忆,挥之不去。
又一次站在了乡间的小路上,金灿灿的麦海随风摇曳着,荡起一圈一圈的波纹。天气已经渐渐地冷了,这些麦子却还在这儿贪婪地享受着午后的阳光,再过一段时间,那些轰隆隆的大家伙就会来把它们封进那些白色的大口袋里。坐在田埂上,我突然想起了爷爷奶奶肩并肩挥舞着镰刀的情景。那暖暖的阳光洒落在他们的牙齿上,他们咧着嘴,笑得那么快乐。我就坐在田头,抱着那碗奶奶做的宽面,一切都是那么美好。
记得爷爷最爱吃馒头,奶奶一年要不停地做馒头。当那蒸气慢慢地向上钻,跑到天花板上时,烟雾笼罩了整个厨房,也在我的牙缝间穿梭。往往这是我最快乐的时候。奶奶会把做馒头剩下的已经发酵的面团放在桌上,拿擀面杖来来回回地抚平,然后改大刀切成长条,最后切成一小片一小片的。旁边的火烧得很旺,水咕咕地冒泡了,奶奶把一大把面洒下去,拿勺子来回搅几下,最后不紧不慢地盖上锅盖。往往这个时候,我便会踮着脚,拼命盯着锅沿,想看面什么时候能熟。
当我专心致志等的时候,奶奶已准备好配料,麻利地掀开锅盖,依次丢进配料,再淋入麻油,放入香菜。一股好闻的面香立刻钻入我的鼻底。不等奶奶说,我便飞快地坐到椅子上,拿好了筷子。奶奶见我这样总是先慈祥地笑一下,然后吩咐我慢点吃。我哪里听得进去,张开嘴就往里送,立刻我舌尖都麻了。那面条刚碰到舌尖,一点微微的辣和酸便在口腔是跳起了双人舞,它们陶醉了味蕾,伴着麻油的香味,蔓延到我的全身,我抱着碗“呼呼”地往下灌。当时的我狼吞虎咽,哪里顾得去仔细品尝。
如今,爷爷奶奶年纪大了,身体不再是那么麻利,住到了城里,家里再也没有做过馒头与宽面了。即使是逢年过节,也只是随便买一些用于祭祀罢了。我曾经在面馆里吃过各种各样的宽面,可味道没有记忆里的那般美好。
我渐渐地明白,人生像是一次旅行,沿途的风景充满了诱惑,路上也会有形形色色的人出现,但风景总会悄悄离去。唯有那些回忆会一直陪伴你,就像那舌尖上滚烫的记忆。
改写之前,首先要做的是反复诵读原诗,反复琢磨诗句的含义,想想作者写诗的创作背景,明确诗歌所写的是何时何事、何人何物、何景何情等,这些其实也就是我们中的记叙六要素:时间、地点、人物、事件的起因、经过、结果。最好,能跳出原诗形式的框架,把原本提供的内容信息熟记于心,这样改写起来才会顺手
元代杰出的戏剧家、散曲家,马致远的《天净沙、秋思》枯藤老树昏鸦,小桥流水人家,古道西风瘦马。夕阳西下,断肠人在天涯
马致远少年时曾热衷功名,但由于元统治者在初期执行着民族高压政策,因而一直未能得志。可以说,作者一生几乎都过着一种漂泊无定的羁旅生活,他终生也因之被注定为郁郁不志,困窘潦倒的一生。
时间:夕阳地点:天涯人物:游子事件:一位肝肠寸断的游子拉着一匹瘦马行走在西风瑟瑟的天涯。
枯萎的藤——衰朽;古老的树——衰弱;昏昏沉沉的乌鸦——打不起精神、不祥的征兆。三个在情调上极其相似的意象重叠在一起,仿佛音乐旋律的重复,又似反复述说,给人深切的凄婉、肃穆、忧愁之感。古道:苍凉寂寥西风:萧瑟悲凉瘦马:疲惫无力断肠人:悲伤欲绝的人
”诗人描绘了一幅秋风萧瑟苍凉凄苦的意境,为僻静的村野图又增加一层荒凉感。“夕阳西下”使这幅昏暗的画面有了几丝惨淡的光线,更加深了悲凉的气氛。,断肠人在天涯是点睛之笔,这时在深秋村野图的画面上,出现了一位漂泊天涯的游子,在残阳夕照的荒凉古道上,牵着一匹瘦马,迎着凄苦的秋风,信步漫游,愁肠绞断,却不知自己的归宿在何方,
就改:“枯藤老树昏鸦”一句:一路走来便来到这里,我彷徨于此,已经步履维艰;这一片便是我的风景,像青青的树藤枯萎衰老。已没了蔓延的青春可以燃烧。我像雨,又像那迁徙的候鸟,又像风,又是漂移的浮云,每个幻想都支离破碎。我是藤,总是把我的'思念与爱慕将树缠绕,而你并不是那雄伟的老树,会把我与我飞去渐远的昏鸦一同埋葬...
写一件事需要注意什么?
1、了解记叙基础知识。
2、学习把一件事写具体。
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