1。 头绪分明,脉络清楚
写好记叙文,首先要头绪分明,脉络清楚,明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析,弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程,然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”,但动笔之前,围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。
2。 突出中心,详略得当
在文章的框架确定后,对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍,应该从表现文章主题的需要出发,分清主次,定好详略。要突出重点,详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节,略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化,使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题,也需要一定的技巧。如:
One night a man came to our house and told me, "There is a family with eight children。 They have not eaten for days。" I took some food with me and went。
When I finally came to that family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured (破坏外貌) by hunger。 There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger。
I gave the rice to the mother。 She divided the rice in two, and went out, carrying half the rice。 When she came back, I asked her, "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer, "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"
3。 用活语言,准确生动
记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动,又要表现力强,这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动,其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。
原文:
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away。 He was soon lost among people and traffic。 He could not find the way back home and started crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying。 They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened。 Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived。 The two students decided to take him home。 Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound。 She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money, but they didn't take it。 She served them with tea but they left。
修改后:
The other day, five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street。 After some time, he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home。 But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic。 When he could not find the way home, he started and crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop。 They immediately went up to him。
"Little boy, why are you standing here crying?" they asked。
"I want Mom, I go home。" said the boy, still crying。
"Don't worry, we'll send you home。"
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy's house。 With the help of a policeman, they finally found it。
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound, she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house。 Gratefully, she offered them some money, saying it was a way to express her thanks, but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea。
★童松(北京市轨道交通建设管理公司主任工程师
男,45岁。率团队耗时一年编制出 《北京市轨道交通建设工程标准化手册》,安全事故率大大降低。
★刘守成(顺义区大孙各庄镇小坝洼庄村村民
男,50岁。2015年7月18日,他见义勇为,两次潜入水中,救出落水儿童。
★王欣(市审计局干部
女,48岁。她2004年加入骨髓捐献队伍,至今已累计参加无偿献血30余次折合全血10000毫升以上。
★浦天龙(中国政法大学硕士研究生
男,27岁。他在高校发起“119·政法之光”消防志愿者活动等,将“全民消防”作为人生理想。
★张博研(密云区广播电视中心主持人
男,27岁。母亲罹患癌症,他变卖房产、努力工作,为母治病。
★赵德瑞(平谷区滨河小区居民
男,80岁。1980年起,他就开始为夏各庄镇敬老院的老人义务理发,如今,他也成了老人,义务理发仍在坚持。
★朱学骏(北京大学第一医院皮肤性病科主任医师
男,74岁。从医50年,不仅救治了无数患者,而且还开设个人微博,每天为患者答疑,并整理出版《皮肤病百问》,目前已拥有58万粉丝。
初雪,急匆匆地驾着西风赶来,轻轻落入大地怀抱。秋色慢慢褪去,冬的号角在田野上奏响,雪花行色匆匆,漫天飞舞,弥漫天空,有些急不可耐,在将谢幕的秋景里,尽情飘洒。收获过的原野,在酣畅的西风里,轻哼一首快乐的歌,欢迎这初雪的将临。肥沃田地早已露出厚实的胸膛,迎接等待一年的恋人,雪花轻舞着美丽的舞蹈,像无数小小的天鹅,静静地拥入大地的怀抱,纯净洁白雪花,深情感天动地,大地感动的泪流满面,天空感动的喜泪点点,树林感动的拱手致敬。人们闻听初雪而至,快步跑出大门,在雪里尽情跳舞歌唱,喜迎这久违的美丽天使。
小城,静静等候,这冬的使者,像似在等远方恋人。雪花在小城的街上,楼上,人工湖里,随风飘舞。把个小城打扮的洁白晶莹,纯洁美丽。小城美美的陶醉了,任雪花抚摸自己的全身,轻吻自己的脸。雪花轻盈在街道上洒下一层厚厚的情,在公园的松树上留下许多美丽的倩影,在小湖边轻闻恋人们的嬉笑,在游嬉广场见证了恋人们双双足迹。小城拥着初雪在夕阳的余辉里,红妆素裹,像恋人似的情深意切,静静相守,白头到老。
雪花默默地落满我的窗台,像似在等待什么。也许它们知道,我已经等它们一年了,就像等我离去多年的恋人。初雪飘飘,如鹅毛朵朵,煞是好看!它,曾经无数次在我梦中,演绎那段刻骨铭心的爱情。洁白茫茫的雪野,古朴的小屋,清晰的两行脚印,飘扬的红色围巾,在我记忆天空里,如云朵般美丽,每次,思念在雪花飞舞里,会疯长成一棵参天大树,然而,失望却在一次次的等待中,如石子落满心田。注定海枯石烂的誓言,总会被时间风化成尘埃。唯有初雪会如期赶来,一次一次的安慰我受伤的心。雪花飘飘,窈窕多姿,犹如那温柔的恋人,在我周围絮语轻轻,温情脉脉,感化心中郁闷哀伤,留下一个清纯静美的世界。
每次分别,我都恋恋不舍,一个人静静地站雪地里,看着雪儿悄悄的融化。自己常常是泪水涟涟,我知道初雪来这个世界很短暂。然而,这清纯的雪花,在心里已经割舍不了,像爱恋深深的情人,永远住在我心里。雪儿是有情的,你看落在我掌心的雪花,留下清泪粒粒,这不是它对我的爱恋吗?
我要感谢初雪,柔情似花,温馨着我的爱情,我要感谢初雪,柔情似火,温暖着我的世界,我要感谢初雪,柔情似水,滋润着我的心田。
初雪轻轻地走了。给大地带来深深的情,给小城带来浓浓的爱,给我带来苦苦的恋。
上个月我去北京看望我的一个朋友,因为我们有将近两年没见,而我刚好有假期。这是我第一次游览北京,这座全中国人都向往的城市。我对北京的.所以认知都来自电视和书本,而现在我有机会亲自来看这个城市、来了解她。我多么地兴奋!
There were so many tourist areas in my plan list, like Tian’anmen Square, Forbidden City, the Great Wall, the Perking University and so on. However, due to my short holiday I only visit several places of my list, with my friend’s companion. I will take a long tour to Beijing next time if I have the chance.
在我的旅游计划表上,我罗列许多要去的地方,如天安门广场,紫禁城,长城,北京大学等等。然而由于假期太短,朋友只陪我参观了计划表上的几个地方而已。如果有机会,我下次一定会到这来个长期旅游。
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