When we got there, it was lunch time. Baiyun Mountain looked very beautiful. Everywhere was clean and tidy. We could see green plants and colorful flowers here and there. Red lanterns were hanging on both sides of the road. But it was very crowded on that day. So after lunch, we decided to go up by acable car.
Baiyun Cableway is the first cable cars for sightseeing in our country. There are 80 cable cars, each can sit 6 people. The lower station is set up east of Yuntai Garden and the upper station at the Peak Park. The cars passed by such scenic spots as 'Pu Valley', ‘barbecue zone’, 'Nengren Temple' and so on. When gazing into the distance, the scenery of the City is right before our eyes.
In the afternoon we were at the Peak Park. We felt very relaxed and happy. I ate and drank and played bubble-blowing with my cousin. Baiyun Mountain is a good place to play too.
Going straight ahead, we came to Mount Davis. It is the highest peak of Baiyun Mountain. We climbed the summit of Mount Davis, overlooking the whole city.
In the evening, we walked down the mountain and saw the moon in the sky. We ate mooncakes, fruits and snacks in a restaurant.
My family and I were very happy because we had a special Mid-Autumn Day.
I’m writing for more information about the day tour to London.
As a student at Oxford University, I’d like to know if you have any special price for students. As for the money you charge, does it cover the entrance fees for visiting the places listed? What about lunch? Is it included? Or do I need to bring along my own food?
How long will the tour last? Since I need to prepare my lessons for the next day, I’d like to know the time to return. Besides, is there any time for shopping? I really want to have a look at the big stores in London.
Yours,
Li Hua
尊敬的先生/女士,
我写的更多的信息,在伦敦的一日游。
作为牛津大学的一名学生,我想知道你是否对学生有特殊的价格。至于你所收取的钱,它是否包括了所列地方的.入场费?午饭怎么样?是否包括?还是我需要带上我自己的食物?
巡演将持续多久?既然我需要准备第二天的功课,我想知道的时间可以返回。再说,还有没有时间去购物?我真的很想看看伦敦的大商店。
你的,
李华
说明文不是说明书。它是集知识性与趣味性于一体的文章。如果按照说明书的方式去写,像开中药房一样,什么1,2,3,4,A,B,C,D都用上,即使把你要表达的对象描述的一清二楚,看的人也未必有耐心去看。如果能把说明文当成记叙文来写,你文章可读性就大大增加了。记叙文有一个叙的问题,那么说明文也要有序。有了它,你的文章才不会乱。安排好顺序,先写什么,后写什么,什么地方祥写,什么地方略写,心里要有底。该突出要表现的部分,你可以大肆渲染,发挥你的想像力,只要不偏离事物的本性就行。例如你写猫头鹰的视力,写它在白天对周围的事物是视而不见,而晚上却对一切活动的物体明察秋毫,甚至可以看到几百米外藏在草丛中的田鼠。通过这样的对比,夸张的手法,使读文章的人一下子对猫头鹰的视力有了深刻的了解。
一篇有一个好的开头很重要,说明文的不像记叙文那样,有感人的故事情节,因此说明文的开头就更要精雕细琢了。你可以把要表述的精彩部分提出来作为噱头,像写猕猴桃可以这样开头:在所有水果中,猕猴桃的VC的含量是应该是最高的,达到每100克鲜果中为60毫克,被誉为水果界中的奇异王果。为了激起读者兴趣,引入传说,故事不是不可以的。例如写臭豆腐可以这样开头:臭豆腐闻着臭,吃着香,这大家都知道。说到它的臭和香,这里边还有一个有趣故事,从前起一个标新立异的'题目,也很关键,例如有写荔枝《南州六月荔枝丹》,就把荔枝的生长地域,成熟季节和外形颜色包含在了题目里。
有了好的开头,更要有精彩的内容。一定要抓住事物的重点来写,不要主次不分。描述时,可以加入一些感情因素,干巴巴的数字会使文章读起来味同嚼蜡,失去了趣味性。如我们要描写荔枝的果肉时,不妨这样写:剥开那暗红色的疙疙瘩瘩的外衣,露出她那雪白的皮肤,哇,好可爱呀,她有雪的白,玉的润。忍不住含到口里,她调皮地就像QQ糖一样,在嘴里跳来跳去,她那甜美的体香使你陶醉。
说明文的结尾和其它题材的文章一样,用一两句话总结一下,使你的文章前后有个照应,起到扣题的作用。
二、“盲目崇大”。有些考生,一遇到作文时,就搜肠刮肚,想那些“千百年”来“放之四海而皆准”的论据,或时髦的、轰轰烈烈的大事。于是在无可奈何之下,考生便开始胡编乱造。其实,大可不必。生活本身就是我们取之不尽,用之不竭的源泉。一个写作水平较高的考生,总是能从身边生活中选取一些有生命的例子,提炼出新颖的观点。比如:在一篇题为《冷静,制胜的法宝》的中,作者写道:一次,我的屋中飞进了一只燕子,正当我欣赏之即,一只猫跑了过来,燕子急于逃命,可它忘却了来路,误以为玻璃窗便是门,经过几次撞击之后终于葬身猫腹。于是,我在敬佩燕子顽强的同时也为它惋惜,因为窗子的边上便是门,只要稍有冷静,就不会因慌乱而丧命。其实像这样的例子,生活中随处可见,只要留心,就一定会有所收获。
三、“老生常谈”。所谓“老生常谈”,就是论据陈旧,缺乏时代气息。一些人们熟知的事例,大可不必完全照搬,只要一笔带过,或换一种方式即可。譬如,一位考生在《得与失》中写道:
春秋时代,越国被吴国打败,越王勾践立志报仇,为了激励斗志,他夜里睡在柴草上,又在起坐和睡觉的地方挂着苦胆,吃饭睡觉之前都要尝一尝胆的苦味。经过长期准备,越国终于把吴国打败了。
类似这样的材料,完全可以简写成:越王勾践卧薪尝胆,忍辱负重,虽在吴王面前失去尊严,可最终却一举灭吴,完成复国大业。这样既节省了笔墨,又不浪费别人的时间。当然,有时代气息的'事例,需要我们平素经常观察、积累,做生活的有心人,只有勤于观察,勤于思考,扩展视野,才能“唯有源头活水来”。
四、“事例罗列”。在一些作文分数不高的同学中,很大一部分是罗列事例,他们缺乏对事物的仔细分析,深入论证。一些考生在作文中常常是罗列一些古今中外的事例之后,便“综上所述”,开始结尾,或是将一些名人堆砌在一起,虽然做到了词藻华丽,却给人以“假、大、空”之感,当然作文的分数肯定不会高。
五、“移花接木”。一些考生在作文中,时常会因记忆不清而“移花接木”。例如:一位考生写道:“记得莎士比亚说过‘知识就是力量’。”这里,考生误将培根写成了莎士比亚。我们说这种现象虽不是大的缺陷,但却给人一种知识面狭窄、治学不严谨的印象。这会直接影响阅卷老师对的评判。其实,遇到这种情况不必着急,只要变通一下就可以了。如:写成“不知哪位哲人说过这样一句话”,“记得一句话说得好”……。这样一来,就不会出现上述毛病了。
总之,上述五大误区是学生在作文中常会出现的情况,也是影响作文质量的毒瘤,希望考生们在以后的写作中多加注意。
I Like Disneyland
I get to know Disneyland a year ago,at the time,my mother took me to Hong Kong,I
was so happy,we went to Disneyland,I saw many lovely cartoon characters。I saw them
when I was watching TV,I felt so happy,I told my mother I wanted to come to here
again soon。I like Disneyland so much,I want to live in theDisneylandworld。
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