一位父亲有几个孩子,这些孩子时常发生口角。他丝毫没有办法来劝阻他们,只好让他们看看不合群所带来害处的例子。为了达到这个目的,有一天他叫他们替他拿一捆细柴来。当他们把柴带来时,他便先后地将那捆柴放在每一个孩子的手中,吩咐他们弄断这捆柴。他们一个个尽力去试,总是不能成功。
然后他解开那捆柴,一根根地放在他们手里,如此一来,他们便毫不费力地折断了。于是他就告诉他们说:「孩子们!如果你们大家团结一致,互相帮助,你们就像这捆柴一样,不能被你们的敌人折断;但如果你们自行,你们就将和这些散柴一般,不堪一折了。」
Father had a family of sons who were perpetually quarrelling among themselves. When he failed to heal their disputes by his exhortations, he determined to give them a practical illustration of the evils of disunion; and for this purpose he one day told them to bring him a bundle of sticks. When they had done so, he placed the faggot into the hands of each of them in succession, and ordered them to break it in pieces. They each tried with all their strength, and were not able to do it.
He next unclosed the faggot, and took the sticks separately, one by one, and again put them into their hands, on which they broke them easily. He then
addressed them in these words: "My sons, if you are of one mind, and unite to assist each other, you will be as this faggot, uninjured by all the attempts of your enemies; but if you are divided among yourselves, you will be broken as easily as these sticks."
Dear mom:
A: hello!
Mom this is my first time to write to you, so some shame.
How are you recently? Have a smooth work! How your mood these days, I have no dont care you one day.
How much I miss you, do you give me the rice, how delicious, I often dream of in the evening I went to the kitchen to steal to eat the food you do.
Mom you sit down and rest for a while! Dont be so hard to cook for us after work every day, every day we wash clothes... Every time after the meal, I want to help you wash the dishes, you say you dont have to tube chores, you just mind your own learning. Himself out of one eye, I am full of tears.
Ah! Mother I love you.
I wish you the best
Healthy body, the work is smooth.
我家熙熙刚四岁,都让我误以为已经到了青春期,“顶嘴”和“抬杠”已经成了家常便饭。对照此书反思,我发现自己对孩子有过分娇宠之嫌,经常迫于她哭闹的压力而放弃原则,答应了一些不合理的要求,进而让她变得越来越任性。
自我总结与调整就是,首先保证不情绪化,不和孩子对抗,要平等相处,注意说话的技巧,不使用命令语气,时刻表达爱。另外,不要盲目批评孩子,不在公众场合批评孩子。
“真正的威信来自于言行合一的言传身教,来自于对底线和原则的坚持。”
这一部分,作者的很多理念非常好。
1.会学,更要会玩。未来世界,是会玩的孩子的世界。一定要去欣赏会玩、爱玩的孩子。咱们中国家长有个误区,歧视爱玩的孩子,给他们贴上“淘气”的标签,青睐“听话”的孩子。
其实,“过分听话的孩子往往是缺乏独立性的表现,千万不要认为孩子聪明就是学习成绩好、听话守纪律,而忽略了对孩子的创造力及其潜能的开发与培养。爱玩、会玩的孩子往往比较聪明、有主见、意志力比较坚强,家长只要善于引导,这样的孩子更有可能成为一个极具创造力的人。”
孩子在专注地玩的时候,千万不要去打扰,这会降低孩子的注意力,恶果一般会在学习中体现。比如马虎大意,明明会做的题目,看错了题干。
2.学习习惯比内容更重要。书中提到的先学习,再休息的理念,我认为十分科学。孩子放学,第一件事应该是把作业写完,再痛痛快快地去玩。而不是玩的时候,三心二意,总想着还有作业没写,玩得不尽兴。
3.孩子学习时,要谨慎陪读。把自己当成孩子的拐杖,会害了孩子。教方法,然后及时退出书房,才是明智的家长。
有几个让我受益匪浅的观点,等同于及时雨
孩子小,讲道理作用有限,很多时候她点头,不是听懂了,而是不耐烦了,点头敷衍一下,让你赶紧结束。这个问题困惑了我好一段时间。书中的提议很好,讲故事,反正孩子喜欢听父母讲故事,没有现成的故事,就现编。把你想说的道理用故事情节来展现,也许会事半功倍。
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