《与成功有约》是美国著名成功学学者、商人柯维所著。本书的出版曾引起美国读者的轰动,在中国又曾被改名为《高效能人士的七个习惯》风靡一时。
本书告诉我们真正的成功是全面的成功,它告诉我们怎样达到由内而外的改变,告诉我们达到和谐的圆满的人生目标的七大原则:操之在我、确立目标、掌握重点、利人利己、设身处地、集思广益、均衡发展。
这七大原则是相辅相成,一气呵成的。借着培养这些习惯,我们可以循环渐进,由依赖而独立,再由独立进步到互赖。
人类在幼年时期必须完全依赖家人的照顾,但随着年龄的增长,我们的生理、心理、情感及经济能力各方面都不断成长相对的独立起来。
独立比依赖要成熟得多,要达到自我的独立,需要掌握三条人生准则:操之在我,自己掌握选择的自由;确立目标,锁定自己生命的坐标;掌握重点,找到有意义、高效率的个人管理方式。但是个人独立不代表真正的`成功,圆满的人生还应该追求人际关系的成功,包括同事关系、家庭关系、婚姻关系和团队生活等。
互赖是一个相当成熟进步的观念,惟有独立的人能达到这个境界。要由独立上升为互赖,必须掌握这样三条人生准则:利人利己,追求双赢的境界;设身处地,实现完美的双向沟通;集思广益,调动最大限度的脑力资源,激发人类最大潜能,开辟前所未有的新天地
最后一条准则是均衡发展,确立最佳的自我投资策略,从健康、心智、精神以及待人处事各方面磨练自己。这四方面休戚相关,只有平衡才能产生最佳的整体效果。本书的七大准则也惟有在身心平衡的状态下效果最佳。
对于操之在我,确立目标二原则我体会更深。最近我在上一个探索工作坊课程,其中确立愿景,要若如何,全凭自己与这两条原则有相似之处。我们的工作、生活、人生都要有自己的目标或愿景。我们的人生目标很明确,人生方向很清楚,那么我们的行动才能够更加自觉。否则,目标或愿景缺失,我们就会走偏方向,甚至忘记了初心。操之在我,人生由我不由天,要若如何,全凭自自己。确立目标,贵在坚持,命运掌握在我们自己的手中。
法兰柯是一位犹太裔的心理学家,在二战时被关进纳粹集中营,他的父母妻子和兄弟都死于纳粹魔掌,他本人则受到严刑拷打,性命危在旦夕。
后来,他在沉思中突然眼前一亮,他感觉身体虽然完全处于别人的控制之下,但他的自我意识是独立的。纳粹可以剥夺他身体的自由,但无法损伤他的内心。
凭着想象与记忆,他不断锻炼自己的意志,直到心灵的自由,终于超越了铁栏的禁锢。
他告诉我们人有选择的自由,能决定人的只有人本身。海明威说:"人不是生来就要给打败的,你可以打倒他,却永远打不败他。"罗斯福总统夫人说:"除非你愿意,任何人都不能伤害你。"而圣雄甘地则说:"若非拱手让人,任何人无法剥夺我们的自尊。
他们所说的都是同一个意思一一操之在我。这个词的含义包括:人必须为自己负责;个人行为取决于本身,而非外在环境;理智可以战胜感情;人有能力也有责任创造更有利的外在环境。
After watching this movie, the heart can not be calm, it let me see the heros optimistic, strong, confident and never give up, but also understand the worlds apathy, helpless and uneasy. The cause of the failure, his wife abandoned, life distress and defeat Chris, on the contrary, the suffering experience made him become more self-confidence, he never give up faith, in trouble, finally it comes to firmly grasp their own happiness.
How could we not be so in our life? Life is a long journey, and no one on this journey is smooth sailing, and no one can predict what will happen on this journey But one thing we can believe is that when God closes a door for you, she opens a window for you.
This story reminds me of the scene thirteen years ago. Thirteen years ago, just graduated, I left home with longing and hope, came to the provincial capital of Jinan, then only in the pocket of my mother gave me one hundred yuan. After a lot of trouble, I found a job of selling commodities for a trading company. Every day carrying a packet of small streets, hard to imagine. The scene of the first customer rejection, the scene of being scolded by the customer for the first time, a man hiding in the corner crying...
Still fresh in memory. That experience made me realize that when were in trouble, letting go of our self will only make us worse, and we can get nothing except a little sympathy. On the contrary, this is the moment we make efforts, energy savings, firm belief, lock the target, hold on and never give up, you can in the happiness comes and firmly grasp her. No one has ever been alone. Recently, a colleague has passed his own effort to enter a financial institution in the city. In the eyes of everyone, he is a lucky man. But perhaps no one saw the hard work he did in the process. In this world, everything is a process from quantitative change to qualitative change. When we envy other peoples luck, we may not see how much others pay in the process When were watching TV, when were having fun, when were chatting......
Perhaps others are studying business, perhaps is study of professional knowledge, perhaps is to fight to win or die......
We often see the success of others, but rarely see the hardships of others behind the success. One hundred people, one hundred people, different lifestyles, there are one hundred different interpretations of happiness, you choose what kind of life, what kind of action. So dont blindly envy others success, if you want to succeed, if you want to decide your own happiness, it starts from a little bit, starting from your nearest goal, adhere to! Insist! Insist again!
When one day happiness knocks at the door, you can catch her without hesitation, and then you will also become the lucky person in the eyes of others. In daily work, we should always remind ourselves, when happiness knocks at the door, are you really ready?
When I read \"when happiness knocks on the door\", this film makes me feel how hard it is to have no money in the world. When Crete Gadens wife left, homeless, took his son to sleep in the toilet, he cried, he felt he was incompetent, helpless, even down to the toilet. He said to his son: \"you are the best, to adhere to your dream, no matter who can not control your dream, that is, your father can not write.\" In him, I saw that he was in a very clean suit even though he was down and out. Because he knows, only professional, in order to attract more customers. He tried to make a phone call, not a phone. In order to make a phone call, not even drink water, so you dont have to go to the toilet. And at any time in the role of the younger brother, for the manager of tea, buy food for the manager. But even so, he is still very optimistic, because although his wife left him, but also his son, the son is the backbone, the son can live a good life, have a good education, being wronged, tired by the point and is what?
Finally pays off, he finally found a big customer, in order to get close to him, Crete Gaden accompanied the customers to watch the game, the game introduced a lot of customers in the customer for him, said: \"the big customers in a short time, I wont let you control my money. But I appreciate you, so I am willing to make friends with you, after 100 days of hard work, Crete Gaden finally passed the examination, he won the first performance, he became the only one who was admitted to government securities company. When Crete Gaden entered the directors office, a securities company executives told him that you have become a formal securities agent, his heart very excited, tears in his eyes, in addition to the 3 top repeat saying thank you, he can not say a word. He thought that he and his son would never have to sleep in the toilet again, and no longer go to church workhouse, and he couldnt help but shed tears. It was tears of happiness. He thought of the future to give his son the best life, the best education, and he tears, gave a happy smile, he ran to his sons school, a Chinese opened for poor children studying in the school, hugged her son, thought: \"son, Dad after you can get good life, have a good education!\" By 2005, Crete Gaden had become a million dollar banker.
This is the \"pursuit of happiness\", their happiness will never knock on our door, we want to fight for their own, as long as the hard work, unremittingly, happiness will come knocking never yield in spite of reverses, our door.
人生如同一条无边无际的道路,那么失败就试地上的绊脚石,随时可能把你绊倒,如果因为一两次的失败而放弃前进,那将是半途而废,前功尽弃。俗话说:失败乃是成功之母,失败为之失败,并非失败而失败。
克服重重困难的人终究走向胜利。
从古至今,成功与失败二词,永远都是那么的鲜明。在俗人眼中,成功之人都是高高在上,永远都是成功的,对于失败之人,却是将视为,眼中钉,肉中刺,永无翻身之日。成功没有永远的成功,失败也没有永远的失败!
人生旅程是艰难曲折的,世界上并没有完美无缺的旅程,失败的结果各种各样,令人难以预料,可是在成功与失败之间却有一个岔道口:一条路通向彻底的失败,那另一条路便是成功之路,关键就看你如何选择,走哪条路。成功的道路前面虽然有些坎坷,可是只要跨过这个坎坷,前面就是平坦而又宽敞的阳光大道,失败的道路前面是平坦的,可后面却是异常的崎岖。这便是它们的`差别之处,不要只为了前面的平坦,而不顾后面的人生,失败就是成功路上的绊脚石。
自古以来,失败乃兵家常事,亦然之失败乃成功人士之常事。面对失败,其实并不可怕,不畏惧,可怕的是你在面对困难是的恒心和毅力是否坚如磐石,铁铮铮,经得起失败的挫折考验,毅力犹如坚钢,那么你就是一个成功人士。面对失败,你却无所谓的选择躲闪、逃避,恒心和毅力一盘消散。经不起严峻的考验,经不起风雨绸缪,没有正确的方向仪式,没有航标,想要获得成功谈何容易。任何事物的发展都是有一定的自然规律的。在面对失败时,要从容面对,善谋其理,在面对成功时,要戒燥戒傲,心平气衡。保持清醒的头脑,明智的选择,毅力的导向,理想的航标,你的人生目标的彼岸永远不是一个单纯的梦。
如果每个人因为一点的失败而放弃,哪有今天的辉煌茂盛?人,不可能十全十美的,俗话说的好:“寸有所长,尺有所短。”每个人都有自己的长处和短处,取长补短能是一个人反败为胜。生的直线,不再于直与不直!而在于,每一个点!
Last night, I read an American inspirational article \"when happiness knocks on the door\", I feel a lot. Each of us has experienced some hardships before we know what happiness is. Chris experienced the most difficult stage in his life. From the step by step to the final success of the ordeal. The film also became popular applause of the American inspirational article. Perhaps inspirational articles have a common plot, all is the master, through the rough life course, finally to success. But if thats not the case, can it be inspirational?
When happiness knocks on the door, Chris. Gardiner represented a medical device, his main job is to do the work of medical device salesman, every day is carrying a scanner shuttle in the street, around to sell. Sales promotion is not so smooth. He goes out every day, but he comes home with money every day. He has a wife and a son. His wife works for 16 hours a day in a factory. He lives in poverty, and is often subject to various economic pressures, such as rent, car fines, taxes, etc..
Chris had a chance to see a group of stockbrokers working very happily, and he was determined to become a stockbroker. But he has only a high school diploma and has no experience, even if he makes an application. So he took the initiative to go to the examiner, hoping to achieve his wish. And it was his effort to make it happen. He got the chance to interview. He didnt get any income after the interview. The wife watched him unable to get out of the trouble and left him. It was another test for him. He decided to live alone with his son. At this point, he had no income during the 6 months practice of the stockbroker company. He could only take his son to the shelter when he was in a desperate situation. Despite this frustration, one after another, the difficulties ensued, and he never gave up. His belief in success and happiness remained unchanged. With this dedication, he worked hard, every effort to seize every opportunity, sincere treatment of his customers, and finally he ushered in the dawn of happiness.
The most impressive part of the movie is running. There are a lot of running scenes. Chris was running when he saw the stolen instrument; he was running to pay for the taxi fare; he was running for the interview; he was queuing in order to go to the hospice. Running in our lives is also possible, in order to squeeze into the bus, in order to quickly arrive at a certain place. And when Chris was running for his life, we thought of more bitterness and his effort to live. The film is the use of such a run of the subjective action, showing peoples most tenacious ability to survive and never yield spirit. We will also encounter difficulties, setbacks, whether we can correctly treat, and whether we are in the face of all this, can calmly think of ways, can take the initiative to beat the difficulties? If we can, we are the strong person in life.
The film left me with one of the deepest impression is Chriss tears. When he and his son were evicted from rental housing, he led his son to find a place to live. His friend refused him. So they came to the subway station. He came up with a story to coax his son to accept the difficulties he faced. So they went into a public lavatory and spent a night in the sound of a barrage of crashing sounds. Chris cried. He didnt cry for such difficulties. But let his son suffer with him, make him feel sorry for his son. This point of view is that he is a kind and respectable father. Treat his son, his affection is so strong and deep. Another scenario is that he was hired as the official broker, he cried, wanted to share this happy moment of the man is his son with him, can feel how much he loved his son.
We see these scenes can not help tears trickling down cheeks. A touching scene, from a subtle point can feel the power, we lack is such a force. We want to succeed, we want to become brave, and we face difficulties and setbacks, we also indomitable will and faith to support it? So, when it comes, we dont panic anymore. Because we think the world is nothing to fear. The terrible thing is that you believe in what you can do if you believe in what you want and what you will do.
\"The Pursuit of Happyness\" is a simple inspirational movie.It is not pretty actors,no fancy pictures,no touching music,but can also attract you read on law-abiding,because it has good enough story,plain but not mediocre!
Two of the film places the novel,though intentionally set,but that is not offensive,not far-fetched,pregnant with meaning.
First:When Chris (Will Smith plays to see graffiti in the \"happyness\" spelling error,he said these words:There is no y in happiness,There is i.(y or Why.This line is extremely clever setting,it also aims to express through the entire film.Yes,there is no happiness in the why,the only others only their own happiness.Why blame others than their own happiness is meaningless,only rely on their own can be happy.
Second:when the movie started,Chris was in the crowd jammed the streets to push forward,in the smiling faces in only his bewildered,stood helpless with.And towards the end of the film,
Chris was in the same place,look left to meet the emotional tears and applause for his rallying.In the calendar through suffering,sorrow,abandonment,abjection,helplessness,despair,after Chris with patience,hard work and attitude of never giving up in exchange for part of his life,the good old days.So in the moment through the probationary period,Chris is happy.
有一个步行的人,因为路不平而摔了一跤,他爬了起来,可是没走几步,一不小心又摔了一跤,于是他便趴在地上不再起来了。有人问他:“你怎么不爬起来继续走呢?”那人说:“既然爬起来还会跌倒,我干嘛还要起来,不如就这样趴着,就不会再被摔了。”
这样的人,你一定认为他是一个可笑的人,因为他被摔怕了,所以不敢再起来继续往前走,因而他也就永远无法到达他的目的地。
你肯定见过一种叫做“不倒翁”的玩具,“不倒翁”的重心在下面,所以无论你怎么推它、捅它,只要一松手,它立刻又会直立起来,因此,它永远都不会趴下。人生正是这样,由于不断地经受磨难,人才能变得更坚强。你从失败中学到的东西,远比你从成功的经验中学到的东西要多得多。
失败的原因有很多,春秋时期的韩非子曾说过:“不会被一座山压倒的人,却可能被一块石头绊倒。”如果你的性格中有自大、自满等不良因素,那么你就应该努力改变它,因为这种性格因素,都是极易引发失败的直接原因,而由这种因素引发的失败,将会让你损失惨重。
可以肯定地说,没有人喜欢失败。因为,失败大多是一些令人痛苦的经验,甚至是让你的人生受到重创的体验。然而,无论是什么人,一生顺利且从未尝过失败滋味的人,估计是不存在的。不管你有多伟大,多么不同凡响,只要你是一个人,只要你是一步一步地走着你的人生之路,那么你就或多或少地经历过失败,只不过是轻重程度不同而已。
当然,你也可以不承认这一点,你完全可以说自己从未失败过,因为你的人生之路非常顺畅,你从未遭受过任何打击与一点点的失败。而后,我也可以相信你所说的,你是一成功者。但是我要告诉你,如果你真的没有经历过失败,那么我可以肯定地说,你的人生毫无意义,你所谓的成功也是一种虚幻,因为,没有经历过失败的人生是枯燥的,是缺乏真实意义的,甚至说是不可能存在的。
诚然,一般人几乎都讳言失败,甚至有些人更是谈失败而色变,其实,失败并不可耻,真正可耻的,是不承认自己有过失败经历的人。因为在人生旅途上,失败是正常的,不失败才是不正常的,重要的是你面对失败的态度是什么,是否能够反败为胜。如果你因为一时的失败便一蹶不振,那么我可以说,不是失败打垮了你,而是你那颗失败的心把你自己打倒了。
“失败是成功之母!”你不会对这句话感到陌生。所有渴望成功的人,都必须做好随时迎接失败的准备。不付出代价的成功是不可能存在的,你要想有所结果就必须付出勇气,这种勇气,就是如何坦然面对失败的勇气。你要知道,失败对于一个人来说,是一种非常重要的财富,你如何珍惜这种失败的财富,将成为你决定自己未来的先决条件。
失败是金钱和时间的试验剂,如果不能充分利用这个试验剂的话,那么你就无法变为成功者。无论什么样的失败,只要你跌倒后又能马上爬起来,跌倒的教训就会成为有益的经验,帮助你取得未来的成功。
所以说,不愿意面对失败与不愿意承认失败同样不可取,人生最大的失败,就是永不失败和永不敢败。其实,如果你能够把失败当成人生必修的功课之一,那么你就会发现,几乎所有的失败的经历,都会给你带来一些意想不到的益处。把失败当作你人生成功的基础,这是你最好的选择。一定要去记住:失败乃成功之母
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