When I read "when happiness knocks on the door", this film makes me feel how hard it is to have no money in the world. When Crete Gadens wife left, homeless, took his son to sleep in the toilet, he cried, he felt he was incompetent, helpless, even down to the toilet. He said to his son: "you are the best, to adhere to your dream, no matter who can not control your dream, that is, your father can not write." In him, I saw that he was in a very clean suit even though he was down and out. Because he knows, only professional, in order to attract more customers. He tried to make a phone call, not a phone. In order to make a phone call, not even drink water, so you dont have to go to the toilet. And at any time in the role of the younger brother, for the manager of tea, buy food for the manager. But even so, he is still very optimistic, because although his wife left him, but also his son, the son is the backbone, the son can live a good life, have a good education, being wronged, tired by the point and is what?
Finally pays off, he finally found a big customer, in order to get close to him, Crete Gaden accompanied the customers to watch the game, the game introduced a lot of customers in the customer for him, said: "the big customers in a short time, I wont let you control my money. But I appreciate you, so I am willing to make friends with you, after 100 days of hard work, Crete Gaden finally passed the examination, he won the first performance, he became the only one who was admitted to government securities company. When Crete Gaden entered the directors office, a securities company executives told him that you have become a formal securities agent, his heart very excited, tears in his eyes, in addition to the 3 top repeat saying thank you, he can not say a word. He thought that he and his son would never have to sleep in the toilet again, and no longer go to church workhouse, and he couldnt help but shed tears. It was tears of happiness. He thought of the future to give his son the best life, the best education, and he tears, gave a happy smile, he ran to his sons school, a Chinese opened for poor children studying in the school, hugged her son, thought: "son, Dad after you can get good life, have a good education!" By 2005, Crete Gaden had become a million dollar banker.
This is the "pursuit of happiness", their happiness will never knock on our door, we want to fight for their own, as long as the hard work, unremittingly, happiness will come knocking never yield in spite of reverses, our door.
看完这本书,第一个想到的是余华的《活着》,令读者感到欣慰的是,主人公的结局比《活着》要显得更加温暖,人生也稍微顺遂平和一点。联想到本书作者老舍最后的结局,更加能体会到为何会给主人公安排这样的人生,毕竟但凡还有一丝汲取温暖之处,人还是会留恋生命的。
主人公是普通老百姓的一员,又并不是普通老百姓的一员。当他成为巡警后,貌似碰触了特权阶级,实际上依然是平民阶级的一员,甚至还因成为夹心饼干反而会受到其他的非难。但人生不正是如此吗?看似顺风顺水,内里依然有不为人知的深夜崩溃。
主人公很聪明,也很勤勉。老话说万金在手不若一技傍身,于是书中便详细描写了为了获得一技之长所需要面对和忍受的辛苦和磨难。枯燥重复的劳动、强度大休息时间短、时刻要听从老师傅突如其来的要求和命令,做学徒的日子非常人所能忍受,但主人公不仅忍下来,而且出活出师学到了真本事,并且依靠这一门手艺,好不容易娶了老婆。
普通老百姓的生活不外乎老婆孩子热炕头,因而主人公格外喜爱好不容易娶回来的老婆。然而生活的压力让主人公常年在外奔波,以致于后院起火,而煽风点火的人竟然是最知心的朋友,现实版的为女人插朋友两刀。主人公很宽容,也很仁厚,他并没有责怪和抱怨老婆和朋友,至多心里腹诽下妻子昏了头的选择,竟然同能力模样并不如自己的朋友私奔。或许在他眼中,嫁汉嫁汉,只要穿衣吃饭吧。然而情感需求和陪伴的价值,在当时连吃饭穿衣都比较艰难的时代,自然被忽略和漠视。
福无双至祸不单行,生活上不顺遂,工作上也产生问题。主人公学到的手艺是裱糊匠,为红白喜事裱糊各种中看不中用、专用来充排场的花花架子。整个社会经济的不景气,自然带动了打肿脸充胖子行为的销声匿迹,因而主人公的生存压力愈大。这里看出主人公的积极乐观,他宽容的接受了时代造成的整个行业的消亡,也清醒的意识到需要顺应时代发展潮流而非螳臂当车。
所谓站在风口上猪也能上天,而反之亦然。每个人都应该顺应时代的发展,将自己的个人生涯和时代保持一致,勇敢的从夕阳行业中跳出温水煮青蛙的困境,找到新时代的切入点以便搏击浪头汹涌向前。主人公至此放弃了辛苦学到的裱糊匠手艺,一门心思的钻营进巡警队伍,以便能更好的生存。
尽管巡警也并非朝阳行业,能带来身份地位的巨大变化,但主人公身上固有的脚踏实地的苦干精神,让得过且过的巡警日子充满了勃勃生机。靠着巡警的收入,主人公养活了一对儿女,同时留心学习,主动提升自我技能,没有条件创造条件的坚持读书看报、自学骑马。这是人到中年,朝气尚存,暮气不重之时,最好的生存状态。
日子是温吞吞的向前过,儿女们的成长需要花费的金钱越来越多,导致主人公对巡警工作的依赖程度愈发严重。因为害怕改变工作会导致收入变动,想想嗷嗷待哺的一双儿女,主人公只能掩耳盗铃,继续留在巡警队伍中一步一个台阶的混资历、升职称。而越是年岁增长,越是做事和稀泥,这样的行为究竟是个人对社会的无奈妥协和适应,还是已然进入暮年、垂垂老矣、不能饭否。
通过一个平凡小人物的一生,展示一个时代的悲剧,生存在这个时代中的万物刍狗,都只能随波追流、沉沉浮浮、浑浑噩噩度过无悲无喜的一生。笔者挺喜欢主人公的形象,虽然这浓缩后被展示出来的一辈子充满了悲情,但其中多少能感受到主人公的积极、勤勉、温和和宽容,就像生活中很熟悉的温柔中年人一般,真实、丰满、有血有肉。
After watching this movie, the heart can not be calm, it let me see the heros optimistic, strong, confident and never give up, but also understand the worlds apathy, helpless and uneasy. The cause of the failure, his wife abandoned, life distress and defeat Chris, on the contrary, the suffering experience made him become more self-confidence, he never give up faith, in trouble, finally it comes to firmly grasp their own happiness.
How could we not be so in our life? Life is a long journey, and no one on this journey is smooth sailing, and no one can predict what will happen on this journey But one thing we can believe is that when God closes a door for you, she opens a window for you.
This story reminds me of the scene thirteen years ago. Thirteen years ago, just graduated, I left home with longing and hope, came to the provincial capital of Jinan, then only in the pocket of my mother gave me one hundred yuan. After a lot of trouble, I found a job of selling commodities for a trading company. Every day carrying a packet of small streets, hard to imagine. The scene of the first customer rejection, the scene of being scolded by the customer for the first time, a man hiding in the corner crying...
Still fresh in memory. That experience made me realize that when were in trouble, letting go of our self will only make us worse, and we can get nothing except a little sympathy. On the contrary, this is the moment we make efforts, energy savings, firm belief, lock the target, hold on and never give up, you can in the happiness comes and firmly grasp her. No one has ever been alone. Recently, a colleague has passed his own effort to enter a financial institution in the city. In the eyes of everyone, he is a lucky man. But perhaps no one saw the hard work he did in the process. In this world, everything is a process from quantitative change to qualitative change. When we envy other peoples luck, we may not see how much others pay in the process When were watching TV, when were having fun, when were chatting......
Perhaps others are studying business, perhaps is study of professional knowledge, perhaps is to fight to win or die......
We often see the success of others, but rarely see the hardships of others behind the success. One hundred people, one hundred people, different lifestyles, there are one hundred different interpretations of happiness, you choose what kind of life, what kind of action. So dont blindly envy others success, if you want to succeed, if you want to decide your own happiness, it starts from a little bit, starting from your nearest goal, adhere to! Insist! Insist again!
When one day happiness knocks at the door, you can catch her without hesitation, and then you will also become the lucky person in the eyes of others. In daily work, we should always remind ourselves, when happiness knocks at the door, are you really ready?
这本书是一个大杂烩,是将老舍先生各个经典作品的一部分选出来编辑成的,有小说也有散文,像《骆驼祥子》、《四世同堂》、《离婚》、《我这一辈子》还有小学课本里曾学过的《猫》等。
书的封面和配图是一个叫老树的人的画,在微博上的ID叫:老树画画。虽然增加了书的趣味,可是总给人一种丰子恺的书的感觉。
作品里处处都可以发现老舍先生是非常爱北京的。北京的春夏秋冬,无论你随时想感慨点什么,就会想到,啊,原来真是如老舍写到的那般可爱啊!
老舍的语言又是非常的贴近生活的,总让你感觉像是在听一位非常有趣的长辈讲述过去的故事。当你看到生活中的口语被一本正经的写进书里时,会不自觉的小小的笑一下,这不是老妈平日里说的话吗?
总的来说,这本书的选节整体还是不错的,但是如果想了解更多,最好还是找专门的作品来看比较好。
《我这一辈子》是反应在社会变革与战乱横行的年代普通百姓的人生悲剧命运。看完后让我非常的沉重。但在悲剧故事下我不由的感受到老舍文笔下主人公的幽默与讽刺。从小说里可以看出男主人公是一个聪明,勤奋,善良,善于学习的人。但这一切优良的品质又有什么用呢?这些并不能让他摆脱自身的困境,走出悲剧的命运。每一次的努力与付出,最终全成了泡影。
老舍通过男主人公的经历与思想变化带着我们审视这个世界,审视这个社会。男主人公在遭到无数社会不公的待遇后,终于明白无论一个人怎样努力的挣扎,自身的努力不能改变自己的命运。在封建社会下人们的性格遭到了摧残与扭曲,在压迫下人们渐渐失去了独立的人格,学会了如何当“奴才”。男主人经过三年的学艺和压迫,逐渐变成了“忍耐者”。
在小说中我们可以看到男主人公的单纯与善良。对于自己妻子和师哥的“通奸”,他没有产生过一丝的怀疑,虽然他有时觉得自己的妻子有点“野”,但他并没有进行干涉。这一切的“善良”举动不仅没能换取妻子的爱,还给妻子带来了跟别人私奔的机会。他自认为对妻子不错,他认为比他师哥优秀,他困惑,他迷茫。他想不通妻子怎会跟一个还不如他的人私奔。这便印证了那句老话“好人难当啊”!
在男主人公当上巡警后,老舍通过他当巡警的经历。给我们描绘了一个官场腐朽,军队涣散,官员生活骄奢淫逸的世界。人们在这种世界里,已没有了人格的尊严,当发生兵乱时,不仅是那些当兵的强盗在抢东西,更甚的是抢劫的百姓比当兵的还多。但老舍并没有对他们进行批判!是啊,命都没有了,那还讲尊严与道德呢?真是可悲可叹!
从小说中我们可以看出这些所谓的“巡警”只是一种摆设,他们被当成掠夺百姓民脂民膏的工具。他们一边在军队,长官面前当奴才,他们一边又要受普通百姓的唾骂。他们里外都不是人,这“巡警”可真难当!想活命还真痛苦。
老舍通过《我这一辈子》告诉我们,如果你生活在黑暗与腐朽的社会中,不管是我这一辈子,还是自己儿子和孙子的一辈子,通通都只能忍饥挨饿,通通都只能给别人当奴才。不管你在怎么努力也于事无补,除非这个社会变了天:变得光明与正义。
"The Pursuit of Happyness" is a simple inspirational movie.It is not pretty actors,no fancy pictures,no touching music,but can also attract you read on law-abiding,because it has good enough story,plain but not mediocre!
Two of the film places the novel,though intentionally set,but that is not offensive,not far-fetched,pregnant with meaning.
First:When Chris (Will Smith plays to see graffiti in the "happyness" spelling error,he said these words:There is no y in happiness,There is i.(y or Why.This line is extremely clever setting,it also aims to express through the entire film.Yes,there is no happiness in the why,the only others only their own happiness.Why blame others than their own happiness is meaningless,only rely on their own can be happy.
Second:when the movie started,Chris was in the crowd jammed the streets to push forward,in the smiling faces in only his bewildered,stood helpless with.And towards the end of the film,
Chris was in the same place,look left to meet the emotional tears and applause for his rallying.In the calendar through suffering,sorrow,abandonment,abjection,helplessness,despair,after Chris with patience,hard work and attitude of never giving up in exchange for part of his life,the good old days.So in the moment through the probationary period,Chris is happy.
大家好,今天我们一起来共读的是《读书是一辈子的事》第279到第298页的内容,这一节我们将会与大家讨论如何改善暴力的沟通方式。
今天,我们处在一个浮躁喧嚣的环境,人与人之间几乎是一言不合就恶言相向。其中,怨怼、愤恨、谩骂、语言暴力等等充斥着我们每天的生活,让我们觉得烦闷沮丧。
谁都知道,这些情绪是负面的,但是从潜意识讲,我们又似乎难以把控和感知,不经意间便冲口而出。
其实,早就有人意识了语言暴力其实也是暴力,而且它往往比行为暴力更加伤人,因为它所带来的都是内伤;所以很早就有人提倡一种和谐的沟通方式!最有名的莫过于卢森堡博士提出的一套标准化技术——非暴力沟通!
为什么那么多人倾向于暴力沟通?那是因为暴力沟通简单粗暴,不用自己费心烧脑!它会让你感觉到酣畅淋漓的自由,说话时不用克制情绪、不用顾及影响,肆无忌惮地表达自我,十分痛快。
但是,我们很多时候忘了,生活本就不单纯只有自己。这种出言不逊、出口伤人的习惯,往往会不经意间变成一把语言的利剑,对周围的亲人和家人造成伤害;而往往这种伤害能伤到的,都是自己的至亲至爱。
所以,人与人沟通方式往往就变成你给我一句谩骂,我还你一声手撕诋毁,这种低级且简单粗暴的沟通方式,慢慢变为一种惯性的沟通模式,慢慢侵害和腐蚀着我们生活的暖心和幸福。
我们不妨先回忆一下,我们平时的沟通方式:
走在街上,你无意将包装纸随手丢弃,你的朋友指责你:你也太没素质了吧!
上学时,父母总是拿你和其他孩子对比:你看隔壁家小明,这次又考了满分!
生活中,操持家务的伴侣总爱讲:为了你,我每天不得不下了班,还要回家煮饭烧菜!
成年后,父母催婚:你是不是希望看到我们死也抱不到孙子?
以上这些沟通方式,我们再熟悉不过了。正如卢森堡博士说的,以上诸如道德批判、对比比较、"不得不"的自我开脱和威胁式的道德绑架,全部都是隐藏在我们身边的暴力沟通!
或许有人会惊讶,这些毫无谩骂之词、毫无污言秽语的沟通,竟然也是暴力沟通?没错!这些语言都从心理上给到他人眼中的心理压力,我们是时候改变我们的沟通方式了!
哈佛大学的《幸福课》曾经讲过一个很具代表性的案例:
哈佛导师由于整日忙碌工作,很少照顾家庭。一次,他***的妻子找他沟通:
"亲爱的,我的肚子越来越大了,我感觉有一些吃力。因为我现在提着东西上楼梯,越来越费力气,我想我需要你的帮助。"
听到太太的一番话,这位讲师立刻对太太充满了怜悯和感激,同时也反思自己忽略家庭表现出了深深的愧疚感。当天中午,他便一人到超市,购买了足量的果蔬、肉蛋类食物,添置了日常用品;回到家又把地板重新拖了一遍,协助太太做好家务。
由此可见,良好沟通的'步骤是:讲事实、说感受、找原因、提要求!
这与书中的观点不谋而合。作者认为,暴力沟通实际上是我们的一种惯性思维。很多人都忽略了它的巨大***伤力,最起码,是还没意识到它给我们带来的人际关系的侵害。关于这一点,作者在书中也提出了非暴力沟通的解决方案。
作者认为,非暴力沟通只需四步,即可打开新局面:观察而非评论、体会表达感受、寻找根源、请求帮助。
正如印度著名的心灵大师克里西那木提说的——不带评论的观察,是人类智力的最高形式!我们往往评论别人时,冲口而出;观察且陈述事实时哑口无言,不知不觉间,我们已经逐渐丧失了在客观中阐述事实的能力了!
这里给大家一个好方法:别论对错!不是有篇网络爆文叫《好的家庭不是三观不好,而是不争对错》吗?所以,遇到问题时先冷静下来,关注事实,切忌对他人进行评论甚至否定。这当然不是一蹴而就的功夫,慢慢练习,相信自己会做的更好!
体会自己、表达感受是非暴力沟通的第二步,也可以说是拉近情感关系至关重要的环节。这里,对方在倾听你时,往往会关注你的情感表达,所以在措辞上要格外注意。
作者借用卢森堡博士列出的词汇表,进一步帮助我们阐述感受:
在表达时,多多运用表格中的词汇,不止不会引发冲突,别人也会越来越关注你的感受喔!
非暴力沟通的第三步:寻找根源!请注意,这里说的是寻找问题根源而并非寻找责任或者指责责任人!
这个环节,我们不需要忍辱负重地压抑愤怒的情绪,也没必要指责对方去给他人栽上一顶罪魁祸首的帽子,而是学会不再用语言的利器去伤害别人,有条不紊地解决问题,杜绝了情绪的肆意蔓延。
最后一步,请求帮助。请求他人帮助时,我们在内容上要注重一个原则:具体化!在企业员工培训中,有一个重要课程就是情景设定!即在老板和员工谈话时,老板的第一句话,往往就是谈话的重点。
最近,我们工期有些迟缓!
最近,我们业务有些懈怠!
这两句话就分别指向进度和工作状态两个不同的工作侧重点!同理,我们在请求帮助时,也要具体化我们的请求:
亲爱的,我可能需要你更体贴一点。
亲爱的,我希望你在每天回来后,第一时间抱抱我!
相比较,第二句话的请求,似乎比第一句更为具体明确,也更能让别人知道自己应该怎么做!
在这个环节,还有一个至关重要的问题:注意情绪!请求他人时切忌命令口吻,要跟多地表达同理心!
任何人对耳提面命式的沟通都提不起兴趣,甚至有时会格外抓狂,相反你的感同身受却能很好地反映情感。在你能同理心回应对方的感受时,便能拉近你们的距离,从而使对方愿意倾听并接纳你的请求,给予支持!
总而言之,作者认为非暴力沟通并非难事,只要我们在生活中反复尝试,刻意练习,用爱的维度来回应周遭、回馈世界!
请牢记非暴力沟通的四个步骤,或许你把它牢记于脑、或许烂熟于心、有或许你可以像美国人那样把公式抄在手掌心,时时刻刻反复运用!
所谓的沟通技巧,所谓的交际艺术,都比不上非暴力沟通下的反复尝试、反复练习。只有这样,我们才能在人生的轨道上慢慢平和舒缓,从容到老!
一个94岁的老学者,他的一生是什么样的?应该会有可借鉴和学习之处吧,我毫不犹豫地买了此书。
其中有一
认识自己是比较难的一件,容易出现两种偏差,一种是自大,另一种是自卑。而季先生这样描述自己:“我剖析得有点过了头,我的自知之明过了头,有时候真感到自己一无是处”。季先生觉得在学术文章和文学作品上自己虽然数量很多,但是真正满意的屈指可数。
在人的品行方面,季先生的分类也很有意思。只替自己着想的是坏,多为别人考虑的为好。为别人着想和为自己着想,后者能超过一半者为好人,低于一半则为不好的人,低的过多的就是坏人。
季先生坦言自己说过不少慌话,但非此则不能生存!但他更多的时候是
© 2022 xuexicn.net,All Rights Reserved.