我们总是试图从关系中得到认同,让自己可以回到孩提时代就设下的信念。这些信念将终生伴随我们左右,就像一个定时炸弹一样,随时将被引爆。一旦触碰到这个信念的开关,我们就会有不同的感受,甚至恼火。当我们感受到恼火的时候,我们最常见的反应就是愤怒,以各种抗拒的形式存在,以至于纠结在谁对谁错的问题上,耗费我们的能量和时间。
This is a story about a special and unreserved woman who has been exposed to a hostile environment but continuously and fearlessly struggling for her ideal life. The story can be interpreted as a symbol of the independent spirit.
It seems to me that many readers’ English reading experience starts with Jane Eyer. I am of no exception. As we refer to the movie “Jane Eyer”, it is not surprising to find some differences because of its being filmized and retold in a new way, but the spirit of the novel remains----to be an independent person, both physically and mentally.
Jane Eyer was a born resister, whose parents went off when she was very young, and her aunt,the only relative she had,treated her as badly as a ragtag. Since Jane’s education in Lowwood Orphanage began, she didn’t get what she had been expecting——simply being regarded as a common person, just the same as any other girl around. The suffers from being humiliated and devastated teach Jane to be persevering and prize dignity over anything else.As a reward of revolting the ruthless oppression, Jane got a chance to be a tutor in Thornfield Garden. There she made the acquaintance of lovely Adele and that garden’s owner, Rochester, a man with warm heart despite a cold face outside. Jane expected to change the life from then on, but fate had decided otherwise: After Jane and Rochester fell in love with each other and got down to get marry, she unfortunately came to know in fact Rochester had got a legal wife, who seemed to be the shadow following Rochester and led to his moodiness all the time ----Rochester was also a despairing person in need of salvation. Jane did want to give him a hand, however, she made up her mind to leave, because she didn’t want to betray her own principles, because she was Jane Eyer. The film has finally got a symbolist end: Jane inherited a large number of legacies and finally returned. After finding Rochester ’s misfortune brought by his original mad wife, Jane chose to stay with him forever.
I don’t know what others feel, but frankly speaking, I would rather regard the section that Jane began her teaching job in Thornfield as the film’s end----especially when I heard Jane’s words “Never in my life have I been awaken so happily. ” For one thing, this ideal and brand-new beginning of life was what Jane had been imagining for long as a suffering person; for another, this should be what the audiences with my views hoped her to get. But the professional judgment of producing films reminded me to wait for a totally different result: There must be something wrong coming with the excellence----perhaps not only should another section be added to enrich the story, but also we may see from the next transition of Jane’s life that “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you would get.”
What ’s more, this film didn’t end when Jane left Thornfield. For Jane Eyer herself, there should always be somewhere to realize her great ideal of being independent considering her fortitude, but for Rochester, how he can get salvation? The film gives the answer tentatively: Jane eventually got back to Rochester. In fact, when Jane met Rochester for the first time, she scared his horse and made his heel strained, to a certain extent, which meant Rochester would get retrieval because of Jane. We can consider Rochester’s experiences as that of religion meaning. The fire by his frantic wife was the punishment for the cynicism early in his life. After it, Rochester got the mercy of the God and the love of the woman whom he loved. Here we can say: human nature and divinity get united perfectly in order to let such a story accord with the requirements of both two sides. The value of this film may be due to its efforts to explore a new way for the development of humanism under the faith of religion.
在读这本书之前,始终坚信相爱是婚姻的基础,也是维持婚姻稳固的重要基石,既然爱了就一定要坚守到底,不离不弃。现在,我对婚姻有了重新的认识,婚姻与爱无关,只和重要性有关。大多数人一生的目标和成功都没有关系,只是证明自己的价值。当我们说爱一个人的时候,这份爱便赋予了条件,其实我们是在说重要性,和爱无关。所有在婚姻里发生的矛盾都和爱无关,都是在寻求重要性。
就像克里斯多福老师说,毛毛虫永远没办法知道、也永远不会理解蝴蝶的世界,但是,每只毛毛虫都可以变成自己的蝴蝶。只不过,在变成蝴蝶之前,自己会先变成作茧自缚的蛹。在茧里边面对自己制造的痛苦,任何挣扎或试图改变的行为都是徒劳的。蛹只有一个选择,那就是放弃所有抗拒、全然接纳当下感觉、平静等待。直到有一天破茧而出成为蝴蝶。
相爱不是互相限制,而是相互成就。婚姻最坚韧的纽带不是孩子,而是灵魂上的相依相偎共同成长,婚姻和亲密关系的真正目的,是让你不断通过伴侣遇到自己并深爱上自己的过程。
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