不能过于空洞,也不能脱离现时,否则就失去了举例的意义。
虽然来源于身边社会,但不可让描述方式变的太鸡毛蒜皮,拿不上台面。其实这点非常容易办到,只需要把事件中某一个具体的你,我,他,变成是客观群体,比如说people across the globe, students, they之类的人称即可。
举例的常见表达方式:
for example,/for instance,(后加句子)
Such as/ like (后加词组)
Take... as an example,
A case in point is that......
其次,在举例时还应注意尺度。
1. 应避免使用第一人称和第二人称,为了加强客观性,应将人称写成第三人称。
改正:Those people who raise pets, such as dogs and cats, are more likely to gain happiness and relieve their loneliness.(那些养宠物,例如养猫和养狗的人往往更容易获得快乐并且缓解孤独感)
2. 应避免引用一项调查研究,并同时伴有过多数据。应将数据去掉,用含糊的方法表示。
改正:There is much evidence to show that the number of people smoking has increased at an alarming rate in China. (大量证据表明。。。)
3. 应避免将例子局限在一个国家,尤其是中国。应将范围放至全世界。
改正:Many children around the world like to sit in front of the screen for a long time, leading to their poor eyesight.(在全世界,许多孩子在屏幕前待太久,导致了他们的视力减弱。
“全世界”的表达方式:around the world, all over the world, across the globe
【写作真题】The advocates of international aid believe that countries have a moral obligation to help each other, while the opponents consider it necessary, because money is misspent by the governments that receive it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
【名师献计】This aid is essential to the homeless and useful in helping recipient countries return to their normal state after major disturbances. For example, with the humanitarian relief obtained worldwide on an annual basis, victims of natural disasters (such as tsunami, drought, flood throughout the world can recover rapidly and rebuild their homeland.
Most female consumers and their girlfriends shop unwisely and spend too much money.
这时主语和谓语都已经进行了改善。但是你问还有提升空间吗?当然有!
所谓议论文,最关键之处在于论述得当。支持句应使主题句更加令人信服,令考生的想法更加鲜明的呈现在考官面前。然而,中国考生在论述时往往存在一些误区:
在生活中,父母对我们的爱无处不在,在我身边就发生过这样一件事。
有一次,我考试考的成绩很差,我想惨了,回到家又要被老爸挨批了,嗨!真是没天理呀。一间屋门,就听到爸爸说:“考试考得怎么样啊。”我埋着头垂头丧气的说出了我的成绩,爸爸大声说:“什么,竟然考的那么差。”我就被爸爸的声音吓得退后了几步,我对爸爸大喊:“人生总会有很多次失误,我就失误了这一次,怎么了。”这时,妈妈走过来说:“原谅孩子吧,孩子就失误了这一次,你没失误过呀。”爸爸妈妈开始吵起来,我冲出了客厅跑进了自己的屋里,趴在床上,我听到爸爸妈妈现在正在为考试这件事争吵着,到了学校又一次考试即将来临,过了几天,开始考试了,我回忆起爸爸批评我时对我说的话,做题时必须认真,考完试,卷子很快就批完了,我考的分对于我来说还行,让爸爸看了看,爸爸说:“还行,上次批评你是因为为你好,看见没,批你一顿,现在考好了吧。”我高兴地回答嗯。
我终于明白了爸爸为什么批评我,是因为为了我好。
Do you ever watch movies from other countries? Whenever I do, I think about how similar people really are all around the world. Even though the cultures and languages in those movies are different from mine, people all around the world are alike in their goals and emotions.
One time, I saw a movie made in china that showed parents helping their children with their homework. . My parents helped me the same way. Another time I saw a movie from Argentina. It showed school children playing hide and seek, which is a game I used to play with my friends during recess. Seeing these films demonstrated to me that education is a common goal in every country. Parents want their children to learn so their lives will improve. It also showed me that children in schools everywhere wants to play with their friends. Sometimes the games are similar to ours and sometimes they’re different. Still, they all have the common purpose of fun and learning to work together.
Earning a living is another common goal. I’ve often seen that in movies about other countries. In some countries, people choose their careers from what they like and are good at. In other countries, careers are chosen for them following the traditions of their families. But in every country it seems that people care a great deal about earning a living, and working hard is respected.
Showing people having fun together is always an important part of any movies, no matter what country it comes from. People everywhere want to be entertained, and want to spend time with their families and friends. Different cultures sometimes enjoy different activities, but all cultures enjoy some form of sports, music and dancing.
The movies I’ve seen make it clear to me that no matter the cultural differences between countries, people everywhere have the same basic needs and goals.
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