Dear Linda,
亲爱的琳达,
I saw your name in a newspaper. You asked for pen pals in China. I am fifteen years old and I live in the city of Shenzhen. I am in my second year at
我在报纸上看到你的名字。你问中国笔友。我十五岁,我住在深圳市。我在我的第二年
No. 1 Middle School. You can see from my photograph that I have a big smile and long black hair.
1中学。你可以从我的.照片中看到,我有一个大大的笑容和长长的黑发。
My father is a worker and my mother is a doctor. I like stamps, music, movies and reading. I enjoy dancing and helping my uncle on the farm, too. I am also interested in your country. Please write to me soon.
我爸爸是工人,我妈妈是医生。我喜欢邮票,音乐,电影和阅读。我喜欢在农场里跳舞和帮助我的叔叔。我也对你的国家感兴趣。请尽快给我写信。
Yours,
你的,
Li Ming
李明
你好!
你的笔友多年了,我很高兴再次收到你的来信。遗憾的是,我没有看到你在过去几年的网上提交,我希望你可以拿起你的笔在网络上看到你的影子。
那么言归正传,你对我的评论,你在过去几年的写作和写作风格,提到了这封信,我愿意用尽我NuDun,给一些不成熟的看法。
第一次是在第六年级的时候,你写一篇文章,雪石”,我也是在那个时候关注你,而我的观点是“语言优美,但是缺乏线索”。我指出你的缺点,很高兴你可以改正,然后我们以前的错误我们以前不提,现在谈你的不足之处。
你经常向我抱怨“作文字数不够”“练笔小说人物单薄无力”,我想着重从以下两个方面与大家讨论,如果有不足或不到位,还请指出。
“作文字数不够”我认为这是写作所要解决的一个问题是特别容易,通常一个成分或是轻小说,有一个相对完整的故事,这个故事可大可小,但语言描述必须做到细致,有时你到一个高度概括的话语描述一件事反而会把这东西向的茫茫大雾使读者明白你想说些什么,有什么困难,或流水帐,然而话盲目的追求将好文章“深渊”。为了解决这一问题是思维的综合源,常提示有利于更紧凑的结构,本文的另一个例子是穿插“插叙”气氛或场景描述铺平道路,不仅可以让故事完整的逻辑性强,另一方面,在词的数量大幅度生长。
最重要的是说明的细节,在平时的作文里通常只有650个字加,没有盖,这一次可以穿插的细节描述,例如在描述他的母亲给你一杯牛奶,往往会扩大开放至少100字的.描述,发散思维的想法或回忆起当时的情景,如“母亲递过牛奶的神情”“牛奶的味道”“指尖感受到的温暖”“台灯灯光照在母亲脸上泛起的迷人光芒”“我口中的干渴和对牛奶的渴望”等等。
其次,是写作(尤其是轻小说)感觉很顺利“意识流”联想的使用方法穿插回到你平常的知识和现在相比,相似性或是特别突出的对比,或母亲递给他一杯牛奶,例如,你可以描述“我的心头涌上一股温暖”,但发散思维,也许会想更多的事情,如“孟子身上那件他的母亲为他临行密密缝的衣裳”“冬日的一缕温暖的阳光”,甚至相反,如“某些同学在学校对你的嘲讽刁难”“学习上或者是生活上的困境”等等,与“我的思维”系列效果更好。
“轻小说中人物形象单薄无力”第二点这里,当然,并不意味着你对她外表的服装描述多么英俊和美丽的花,有时觉得你过于注重外表的描述和坚决忽视自身的特点,只有这样塑造出来的人物只能“穿着奢华衣服的木头人”。
语言描述是非常重要的,只是片面的或没有说明的事却会使人物更加模糊的个人意见,市长陈怡选择“戏剧的人物形象更为生动,如“偌大一个上海我都进得去,我就不相信进不了这扇门!”,汉字语音自然是不言而喻的。
动作描写往往是与语言描写相结合,然而动作和性格的不符合性是一个大禁忌,动作往往决定人物,如:在一位女士手里拿着一本书放下杯子这一简单的动作描写,细节描写可以勾勒出来。
1、错过肘光靠椅子扶手,离开了她的前额,在第二行书聚焦视线,右手缓缓放下杯子,嘴里吐出几个色调:“真是可惜。”
2、一位女士左腿卷曲的右腿,手指快速敲击桌面,在第二行书聚焦视线,右手食指和中指力矩和杯子碰到桌子,口吐出内心的愤怒:“搞什么!”
因为时间,如果没有明白,请联系我,我愿意帮助你。
The picture shows that a young boy said to his father that he was worried about the waste of nuclear, but the father said if you can empty the dustbin , you can do anything . So whatever we want to do ,we must do small things first before undertaking something big .
In contemporary society , many young people enjoy taking big , but they always can’t finish anything . Because details decide success or failure . If we don’t start from the minor matters , only do the big things , we may get nothing in the end . So do the small things first , and then , we can finish something perfectly without wasting our unnecessary energy .
As far as I’m concerned , doing small things first is very important . For example , if we want to live , we must do (转 载于:wWW.cSsYq.cOM 书业网some small things like cleaning the room , washing the clothes and so on , and then , we can make our life comfortable . So don’t ignore details , the details are the key to success.
hello.how have you been?
I have read magazine advertisement knowing you are hunting for some people who can be your pen-friends
firstly,please allow me to introduce myself.I am LiPing and I have a happy life with my parents in Shanghai.my father who is working for a big company is a legal adviser and my mother has retired.
I am working for an advertising company as advertising design.
My hobby is sports such as playing basketball,football,swimming and so on.I think that sports can not only lose your weight but also give you a good shape.I am fond of billiards other than that.
As far as i know one of your hobby is learning foreign languages.I could teach you to learn chinese if you will.
If only I could be accepted and be good friends with you.
good luck to you.
Yours sincerely
Li Ping
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