半个小时后,我们到达了目的地。首先映入眼帘的是一棵粗壮的大树,我尽力伸展双臂也无法完全抱住它。据严叔叔说,它已经有七百岁了。粗粗细细的银杏树列队站在道路两旁,那小扇子一样的树叶在风中哗哗作响,似乎在传递着什么神秘的讯息。有的树上挂满了黄黄绿绿的带刺的小球,我好奇地问严叔叔那是什么,严叔叔笑了:“吃过糖炒板栗吗?这就是板栗原本的样子。”说着,他到路边折下一根板栗树枝,又捡起一块石头对准刺球砸去,外壳裂开,油亮的板栗羞涩地探出了头。
再往前走,就看到四棵粗壮的银杏树。周围的银杏树虽然直径都有碗口大小,但和它们相比可就成了营养不良的“豆芽菜”。严叔叔调侃道:“中间这几棵树是‘领导’,周围的小树都是来‘开会’的。”我忍不住哈哈大笑起来。这时,我发现了一个奇怪的现象:有的树上挂满了果子,树枝都快被压弯了;有的树上却只有叶子。这是怎么回事呢?严叔叔乐呵呵地说:“你仔细看,很多树都是一棵抱着一棵生长的。环抱别人的'是‘公树’,被抱的那棵是‘母树’,两棵树‘结婚’之后才会长出果子。”哇,大自然实在是太神奇了!
眼看时间快到中午,我们来到一户农家小院里休息。“咦,那根树枝为什么要用棍子撑着?”我问。主人回答说:“枝上的果子那么多,如果不撑着,树枝会被压断的。”看来这棵树还是一位“英雄妈妈”呀!我忍不住连连赞叹。
接下来,我们吃了一顿货真价实的农家饭。抱着吃得圆滚滚的肚子,我回想这半天的所见所闻,心里感到格外满足。
导入:
第1段:Recently we’ve had a discussion about whether we should... (导入话题
Our opinions are divided on this topic.(观点有分歧
正文:
第2段:Most of the students are in favour of it.(正方观点
Here are the reasons. First... Second... Finally...(列出2~3个赞成的理由
第3段:However, the others are strongly against it. (反方观点
Their reasons are as follows. In the first place... What’s more... In addition...(列出2~3个反对的理由
结论:
第4段:Personally speaking, the advantages overweigh the disadvantages, for it will do us more harm than good, so I support it.(个人观点 オ
Last Sunday, Jim went out to fly a kite. The kite flew highly in the sky. Jim ran with it happily.
Suddenly the line was broken and the kite flew away. Soon it disappeared. Where was it?
Jim had no idea. So he had to run here and there to look for the kite. At last he saw it on the top of the tree. He tried to get it down. But he couldn’t. He felt sad.
1。 头绪分明,脉络清楚
写好记叙文,首先要头绪分明,脉络清楚,明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析,弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程,然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”,但动笔之前,围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。
2。 突出中心,详略得当
在文章的框架确定后,对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍,应该从表现文章主题的需要出发,分清主次,定好详略。要突出重点,详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节,略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化,使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题,也需要一定的技巧。如:
One night a man came to our house and told me, "There is a family with eight children。 They have not eaten for days。" I took some food with me and went。
When I finally came to that family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured (破坏外貌) by hunger。 There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger。
I gave the rice to the mother。 She divided the rice in two, and went out, carrying half the rice。 When she came back, I asked her, "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer, "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"
3。 用活语言,准确生动
记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动,又要表现力强,这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动,其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。
原文:
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away。 He was soon lost among people and traffic。 He could not find the way back home and started crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying。 They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened。 Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived。 The two students decided to take him home。 Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound。 She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money, but they didn't take it。 She served them with tea but they left。
修改后:
The other day, five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street。 After some time, he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home。 But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic。 When he could not find the way home, he started and crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop。 They immediately went up to him。
"Little boy, why are you standing here crying?" they asked。
"I want Mom, I go home。" said the boy, still crying。
"Don't worry, we'll send you home。"
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy's house。 With the help of a policeman, they finally found it。
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound, she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house。 Gratefully, she offered them some money, saying it was a way to express her thanks, but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea。
有那么一棵树,他自强不息;有那么一棵树,他坚忍不拔;有那么一棵树,他敬爱无声……
当阳光映绿新叶
一袭灰色的工作服,一顶迷彩帽,一双粗糙如树皮的大手,一辆掉漆了的三轮车,构成了一个平凡而朴实的他。
他是一个收垃圾的工人。
小区的人们见到他都会躲得远远的。每天放学,我都能在小区看见他的身影,他骑着那辆垃圾车穿梭在各个垃圾桶之间,夕阳的光晕投在他额前的汗水上,闪耀着自强不息的汗水,令我心生敬意。
当阳光映绿枝叶,那棵树自强不息。
当狂风摧残枝干
乌云把天空压得阴沉沉的,我正走在回家的路上,突然,一阵刺耳的谩骂声传进了我的耳朵。走进一瞧,一个女人正似圆规一般杵在那辆垃圾车前,一手掐腰,另一只手指着他的鼻子破口大骂。他把头埋得很深,脏兮兮的迷彩帽严严实实地遮住了他的脸,他的双手不安地来回搓着,似乎不知道该怎么办才好。从旁观人的嘴里我了解到,原来是他在往垃圾车里铲垃圾时,不慎将泥点溅到了那女人的裙子上,而我的目光扫遍了那件花花绿绿的裙子,也始终没有找到泥点在哪里。那女人声称要到物业去告他,并扬言要让他滚出小区。我心里一沉。
回去的路上,我的心里有种说不出的压抑,如同一块千斤重的巨石压在胸口一般沉闷。只是无心之失,却要如此斤斤计较,不给人留任何余地吗?我想起《平凡的世界》中有这么一句话:“生活中真正的勇士向来默默无闻,喧哗不止的永远是自视高贵的一群。”
当狂风摧折枝干,那棵树坚忍不拔。
当细雨滋润树根
从那之后,他只在晚上出来收垃圾。一天晚饭过后,我在小区散步。忽然,一辆掉了漆的垃圾车进入了我的视线。是他!我的心情竟明快起来。他正蹲在地上,将几个剩馒头掰成小块分给几只流浪猫。路灯将他的影子拖得很长,一个高大的灰色形象赫然呈现在我的眼前。那分明是一棵树啊!一颗饱经风霜却依然挺拔的树!他眉眼沟壑间的笑,深深地感染着我……
当细雨滋润树根,那棵树敬爱无声。
有那么一棵树,他选择了默默无闻,坚忍不拔,自强不息;有那么一棵树,他用沧桑刻画着生命的年轮;有那么一棵树,他用自己的光芒扎根在了我心底!
【点评】小标题式总是很吸引人,这三个小标题都是围绕树,而且含义隽永。一篇文章首先让阅卷老师刮目相看的是结构形式,然后是具体的内容。
本文的又一大亮点是选材。作者把目光聚焦在运垃圾的人身上,通过细致的描写突出了“默默无闻、坚韧不拔、自强不息”的中心,传递了正能量,对于初中生的作文来说,主题得到了升华。
语言优美,句式整齐,有节奏感,言简意赅,这是第三个亮点。
I was born in a beautiful town with high mountains around it.The mountains are covered with all kinds of green bamboo.Through the town runs a small stream.It’s said that a new railway is going to be built to the east of the town and a bamboo factory to the west.All the children of the school age can go to school.If anyone is ill,he can go to see the doctor in the newly-built hospital.People in the town are hard-working and never take the backwardness lying down.Though they are having a richer and better life,they are not satisfied with what they have got.They are working hard to build their town into a modern one.
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