今天,爸爸要带我们一家三口去香港迪士尼乐园玩,爸爸开着车来到深圳,再坐地铁。我们转了好十几辆地铁,坐了这么久,我都快晕了!妈妈还说:“要等两辆地铁。”我几乎变成了“木头人”还要等这么久。啊!终于到达目的地了,我兴冲冲的拿着票。冲进了迪士尼乐园。爸爸妈妈也进来了,我们一直往前面走,哇!多么漂亮的城堡呀!我还看见米奇老鼠在动呢,我恨不得跟米奇老鼠握握手还照相呢!我们看见太空船,爸爸带我一起坐太空船我小心翼翼的坐上了,进到里面,全部变成了一点一点的星星,我仿佛在太空遨游的步履,刚开始开的很慢,然后就非常非常的快,多么刺激呀!我的心好象要掉下来似的,快到极点了,我的头到处乱撞,这也不是我故意的,啊!终于完毕了!我胆战心惊的走出来,狼狈的样子。我们从白天玩到晚上,我们累得不成样子了,妈妈说:“我们该回家了。”我只好依依不舍的回家。
Nowadays, many famous university campuses have become one of the popular tourist attractions. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that every year thousands and thousands of middle school students visit Tsing Hua University and Peking University and other famous universities in China. In the place far away from the capital city, the local students also visit the universities famous in their own province.
So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to open the university campus for tourists? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing for the students to visit the famous university campus in that it can enable the middle students to get more information about the university and they can have enough time and opportunity to prepare themselves with the chance to get into the university. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the public tourism will have negative effect on the universities because it will not only do harm to the environment but also to the intellectual atmosphere.
In my opinion, the tourism to the universities is not a good thing. The campus is mainly a place for study. With the increasing tourism on the campus, it will ruin the spiritual atmosphere in this learning field.
首先,提纯范文 “谋篇布局”及结构模板。
第一段:提出问题或现象。Nowadays, … … have become one of the popular … …. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that … ….
第二段:正反列举人们的看法。So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to … …? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing for … … in that … …. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, … … will have negative effect on … … because it will not only do harm to … … but also to … ….
第三段:摆明自己观点。In my opinion, … … is not a good thing. … … With the increasing … …, it will ruin … ….
其次,提纯范文“段落写作”。
段落写作分为统一性,连贯性和完整性三方面。
统一性(unity:段落开头的主题句应该做到不可太宽泛,也不可太具体,做到有较强的概括性才能使下文做到有的放矢的展开。范文第二段首句以设问的方式提出一个问题is it a good or bad thing就有很强的概况性。下文自然会一方面从好的方面说明,另一方面从坏的方面说明。
连贯性(coherence:关联词是使文章段落之间相互连贯的必要条件。范文中nowadays, on one hand, on the other hand, in one’s opinion即以“启承转合”递进的顺序是文章条理清晰,层层展开。
完整性(completeness:以设问句“So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to open the university campus for tourists?”开头,这是平时较少运用的段落写作方式——设问法。“On one hand … …. On the other hand, … ….”是段落写作分类列举法的典型用法。
再次,提纯范文“句子写作”。
1. It has been shown that … …
类似句型:It is known to us that … …
It is said that … …
It is reported that … …
It is controversial that … …
2. “… … Tsing Hua University and Peking University and other famous universities … …。”——并列句。并列句是简单的复杂句。但其运用方法并不简单,注意练习并接句的使用,会使句子显的更加饱满。
3. enable v. 使…能够
I gave him full directions to enable him to find the house.
4. in that = because
表“因为”的连词还有since, for, as,如:
The boy was absent because he was ill. = The boy was absent since he was ill.
此句以我们常用的人称开头,句式简单,我们可以通过把since提前改变句式,如:
Since the boy was ill, he was absent. 句式多样化。
最后,提纯范文“措辞”。
1. attraction n. 具有吸引力的事情。
2. thousands and thousands 成千上万的
形容“多”的表达方法:millions and millions
a multitude of
a great deal of
a large amount of
plenty of
many a
3. “some people argued that … …”中的“argue”并不是“讨论,辩论”的意思,而是“认为”。
I argue that … …
I maintain that … …
I claim that … …
I insist that … … = I think that … …
I hold that … …
I assert that … …
I assume that … …
4. negative adj. 否定的.,相反的
hold negative view = hold opposite opinions
5. phenomenon n. 现象
social phenomenon 社会现象
natural phenomenon 自然现象
6. intellectual adj. 聪明的= intelligent, bright, clever
(选词策略:使用最近所学的单词,如intellectual > intelligent > bright > clever
在分析并掌握范文之后,我们需要运用范文知识练习仿写。笔者运用2005年12月范文中的模板结构仿写了2006年12月的四级作文,以供参考:
1. 许多人喜欢在除夕夜看春节晚会
2. 但有些人提出取消春节晚会
3. 我的看法
Nowadays, the Spring Festival Evening has become one of the popular topic and attractions during every traditional New Year’s Eve. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that every year thousands and thousands of Chinese people appear to be accustomed to enjoying the sights and sounds of a brilliant feast, while gathering with their beloved family.
However, an increasing number of people have voiced different opinions towards it. So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to cancel the Spring Festival Evening? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing to amuse the audience in that it is composed by a numerous adequate programs, such as the emotional song, the graceful dance, the funny short sketch, the amusing comic dialogue, the delightful magic, and the marvelous acrobatics and so on. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the Spring Festival Evening will have negative effect on the family harmony because it will not only do harm to having the talks between family members on the Spring Festival Eve but also to enjoying the gourmet meal in a fancy restaurant.
In my opinion, the Spring Festival Evening is a good thing. It may not remain a must for all people, but it can bring us a strong sense of festivity and serve as an alternative among the variety of holiday activities. With the increasing audience of the Spring Festival Evening, it will ruin a distinctive culture during the Spring Festival vacation.
我和妈妈做火车来到香港迪士尼乐园,一进去。只见人来人往,川流不息。一股震耳欲聋的声音从不远处传来,我往那一望。哟!有一列火车慢悠悠地开着,不到一会儿,就不见了踪影。不久,我和妈妈也上了火车。在火车上,我看见一位年逾古稀的老人坐在轮椅上,我想:这老人应该一百多岁了。不过一会儿,火车缓缓地停了下来。我欢蹦乱跳地下了车,眼前一亮,看见了许多机动游戏摆在眼前。我迫不及待地冲去灰熊山谷矿车,我走了不到十步,看见像一条长龙一样的队伍。过了几十分钟,终于轮到了我们,我们纷纷都做好了。矿车如箭一般地冲了出去,我高兴得叫了起来……
时间一分一秒地过去了,我终于盼望到晚上。明朗的月光照应着我们,在这温馨的月光下,我牵着妈妈的手走向火箭餐厅去香喷喷吃晚饭。
晚饭过后,我和妈妈在外面散散步。走了不到一会儿,我看见前面灯红酒绿,热闹非凡……不过一会儿,我们来到金碧辉煌的城堡,看电影和烟花表演了。看完电影和表演后我看看手表,已经是凌晨二点了了,我拉起妈妈的手向火车站跑去,坐上火车,我就昏昏欲睡了。
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