今年暑假,我跟随爸爸的教师旅行团到广西桂林玩。在那里玩得非常开心,我从来没有这样高兴过。
那是八月份,我们一行来到这个称作“桂林山水甲天下”的美丽城市。那里的奇山异水,让我们赏心悦目。山,怪石嶙峋,危峰兀立;水,清澈见底,平缓流过。而让我记忆最深刻的是游漓江的那一幕幕……
那天早上吃过早点,我们就驱车从桂林来到阳朔。一下车,就有很多卖水枪的生意人围过来,我们早就听说漓江最好玩的就是打水战,我、马一玲、王子晨、康小涵等小孩及部分老师买了水枪。
接着我们又坐了一段电瓶车来到漓江岸边。五六个人坐一个竹排(带电动机,共使用了六个竹排。我们坐的那个竹排还没发动,谢萍老师她们那个竹排就遭到四周船工的围攻,于是她们奋起还击。由于船工的.火力太猛,几个回合下来,谢萍老师她们就顶不住了,只好撑起事先准备好的雨伞防御。我们由于离她们有段距离,鞭长莫及,只好干着急。幸好不久她们冲出了重围,我们一起向上游开去。
沿江我们看到前面的竹排之间酣战不休,个个淋得落汤鸡似的,全都湿透了。正在幸灾乐祸时,突然一股水流从后面袭来。回头看时,发现是两个跟我们差不多大的男孩和女孩正嬉皮笑脸地向我们肆无忌惮地开枪。惹恼怒了的我们立刻以牙还牙,你一枪我一枪劈头盖脸地向他们开枪过去。几十个回合不分高低,马一玲的爸爸见状立马加入我们的战线。战争的天平一下子倾向了我们,那两个人只有招架之工没有还手之力。见到来犯之敌受到了惩罚,我们就鸣金收兵。
大约过了1小时,我们来到了一个叫九马画山的悬崖前。悬崖上有九个白色的图景,导游说是九匹马。她说,相传这上面的马本是天宫神马,因为“弼马温”看管不严,便偷下凡间,在渡江饮水时,被一画工看见,画工想描绘下来,结果马儿受惊误入石壁而永留人间。我们差一点被迷人的神话陶醉了。
为了等后面的竹排,我们先到的就在九马画山对面的沙滩上休息。爸爸他们下水去游泳,我们几个小孩也不闲着,各自拿水枪干起来了。先是乘刘艳老师不备,群起攻击,使得她落荒而逃,一边逃还一边说:你们真调皮。后来我们就来了军阀混战,战得昏天黑地,一直到各自精疲力竭才桂免战牌。
后面的竹排到齐了,我们跟他们又休息了片刻。接着我们就往回走了。就在掉头往下游走时,一只搭乘外国游客的竹排从身边超速。马一玲和王子晨朝他们大声说“hello,howdoyoudo”。外国游客很友好,挥着手说“你好,你好”。那不太标准的普通话,让我们捧腹大笑。
由于他们手里有水枪,我们毫不客气地开枪过去。战了几个回合,他们就乖乖投降,连连说“no…no…no…”。我们优待俘虏,停战目送他们远去。
太阳渐渐西沉,我们也回到了下榻的酒店,但心情一直不能平静下来,那一天是我最最开心的日子,我从来没有这样高兴过。
1。 头绪分明,脉络清楚
写好记叙文,首先要头绪分明,脉络清楚,明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析,弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程,然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”,但动笔之前,围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。
2。 突出中心,详略得当
在文章的框架确定后,对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍,应该从表现文章主题的需要出发,分清主次,定好详略。要突出重点,详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节,略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化,使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题,也需要一定的技巧。如:
One night a man came to our house and told me, "There is a family with eight children。 They have not eaten for days。" I took some food with me and went。
When I finally came to that family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured (破坏外貌) by hunger。 There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger。
I gave the rice to the mother。 She divided the rice in two, and went out, carrying half the rice。 When she came back, I asked her, "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer, "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"
3。 用活语言,准确生动
记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动,又要表现力强,这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动,其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。
原文:
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away。 He was soon lost among people and traffic。 He could not find the way back home and started crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying。 They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened。 Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived。 The two students decided to take him home。 Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound。 She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money, but they didn't take it。 She served them with tea but they left。
修改后:
The other day, five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street。 After some time, he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home。 But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic。 When he could not find the way home, he started and crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop。 They immediately went up to him。
"Little boy, why are you standing here crying?" they asked。
"I want Mom, I go home。" said the boy, still crying。
"Don't worry, we'll send you home。"
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy's house。 With the help of a policeman, they finally found it。
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound, she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house。 Gratefully, she offered them some money, saying it was a way to express her thanks, but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea。
瀑布从悬崖上奔泻写下来,蔚为壮观,令人赞叹。如果小溪没有勇气从悬崖上奔泻下来,又怎么会有那气势磅礴的瀑布呢?雄鹰展翅,一飞冲天,荡气回肠,如果巢中的雏鹰没有勇气振翅试飞,又怎么能翱翔于更高远的天空?——他们跨出了勇敢的那一步!
人生,又何尝不是这样。
如果我们不跨出勇敢的一步,又怎能进取向前体验到成功的喜悦和多彩的人生?
赛场上的空气似乎凝固了。炽热的阳光照射在跑道上,空气中翻滚着炽人的热浪,滴滴晶莹的汗珠从额上流淌而下,燥热和憋闷使人感觉自己快要融化在赛场上了。面对眼前的道道高栏,我咽了口唾沫,心里有些发怵:“我能行吗?我能跨过这些栏吗?能笑到最后吗?”
曾经的我是个胆小懦弱的人,从没参加过运动会,我惧怕与其他选手激烈角逐的紧张,我担心在众目睽睽之下被人甩在身后的窘迫,我更害怕比赛失败时老师那失望与无奈的眼神和同学们叽叽喳喳的议论……然而老师语重心长的鼓励我:人生旅途中有数不清的拐角在等着我们。只要我们勇敢地跨出那一步,成功终会属于自己。老师的话点燃了我有藏于心底的求胜***。我终于下定决心挑战自己,勇敢地跨出那一步。
远处几十道充满希望的目光像我投射过来,给我注入了充足的力量和信心。我双手有力的撑在地上,身体前倾,屏住呼吸,双目注视前方,心儿扑通扑通的狂跳不止,每一根神经都绷得紧紧地,我憋足了劲,蓄势待发。
“砰”一声枪声,我如箭一般冲了过去,一咬牙,右腿猛地一蹬,向前猛跑了几步,左腿快速的向上一抬,双臂在空中高高扬起,感觉自己整个身体都飞起来了……啊,我跨过了第一道栏,我很兴奋,在心中添了一份信心。继续往前腾跃,我信心和勇气征服了每一道看似高不可及的栏,飞一般地冲过终点,胜利的喜悦顷刻间包围了我。
我挥动双手,眼里满泪水,与我的老师同学分享成功的快乐。我深深地吸了口气,溢满心中的是满怀的甜柔。抬起头,啊,天空蔚蓝,太阳正艳。
人生路上充满泥泞和坎坷,如果犹犹豫豫,瞻前顾后,害怕失败,只能止步不前,蹉跎一生。只有不怕泥泞,不惧摔倒,勇敢地跨出那一步,才能笑到最后。站在抉择的十字路口,有人选择跨出那一步,有人选择躲避退让,也因此产生了成功和失败。小下一步的力量很大,跨出这一步,才有成功的希望,如裹足不前,那只有满腹的遗憾……
每一个人都有深不可测的潜力,只要跨出那一步,就能写就非凡的人生。相信自己,勇敢跨出那一步,前面就是个朗朗的天。
导入:
第1段:Some people hold the opinion that A is superior to B in many ways. Others, however, argue that B is much better. Personally, I would prefer A because I think A has more advantages.
正文:
第2段:There are many reasons why I prefer A. The main reason is that ... Another reason is that...(赞同A的原因
第3段: Of course, B also has advantages to some extent... (列出1~2个B的优势
结论:
第4段: But if all these factors are considered, A is much better than B. From what has been discussed above, we may finally draw the conclusion that ...(得出结论 オ
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