1。 头绪分明,脉络清楚
写好记叙文,首先要头绪分明,脉络清楚,明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析,弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程,然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”,但动笔之前,围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。
2。 突出中心,详略得当
在文章的框架确定后,对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍,应该从表现文章主题的需要出发,分清主次,定好详略。要突出重点,详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节,略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化,使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题,也需要一定的技巧。如:
One night a man came to our house and told me, "There is a family with eight children。 They have not eaten for days。" I took some food with me and went。
When I finally came to that family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured (破坏外貌) by hunger。 There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger。
I gave the rice to the mother。 She divided the rice in two, and went out, carrying half the rice。 When she came back, I asked her, "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer, "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"
3。 用活语言,准确生动
记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动,又要表现力强,这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动,其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。
原文:
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away。 He was soon lost among people and traffic。 He could not find the way back home and started crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying。 They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened。 Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived。 The two students decided to take him home。 Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound。 She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money, but they didn't take it。 She served them with tea but they left。
修改后:
The other day, five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street。 After some time, he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home。 But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic。 When he could not find the way home, he started and crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop。 They immediately went up to him。
"Little boy, why are you standing here crying?" they asked。
"I want Mom, I go home。" said the boy, still crying。
"Don't worry, we'll send you home。"
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy's house。 With the help of a policeman, they finally found it。
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound, she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house。 Gratefully, she offered them some money, saying it was a way to express her thanks, but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea。
导入:
第1段:提出一种现象或某种困难作为议论的话题
正文:
第2段:Many ways can help to solve this serious problem, but the following may be most effective. First of all... Another way to solve the problem is ... Finally...(列出2~3个解决此类问题的办法
结论:
第3段:These are not the best but the only two/ three measures we can take. But it should be noted that we should take action to...(强调解决此类问题的根本方法
导入:
第1段:Recently we’ve had a discussion about whether we should... (导入话题
Our opinions are divided on this topic.(观点有分歧
正文:
第2段:Most of the students are in favour of it.(正方观点
Here are the reasons. First... Second... Finally...(列出2~3个赞成的理由
第3段:However, the others are strongly against it. (反方观点
Their reasons are as follows. In the first place... What’s more... In addition...(列出2~3个反对的理由
结论:
第4段:Personally speaking, the advantages overweigh the disadvantages, for it will do us more harm than good, so I support it.(个人观点 オ
昨晚,我和妈妈一起看电影,散场后已经十一点多钟了。走到十字路口时,我发现一辆卡车停在斑马线后面。过了一会儿,红灯转为绿灯,他才启动车轮行驶过去。可是,当时路上空空荡荡的,在他前面没有一辆车子,而且警察也已经下班了;卡车司机如果不等亮绿灯就开过去,也肯定毫无关系,那位司机为什么这么规矩呢》
我奇怪的问妈妈,妈妈说:“你自己去想想,多想想。”从昨晚到今天,我真是“多想想”。现在我想了出来:我想那位司机一定是认真、一丝不苟的人;什么事该做,什么事不该做,他一点也不含糊,不管是在人前还是在人后。
可是现在很多人没有那位司机的认真劲儿,我也是其中的一个,比如我穿马路经常不走斑马线,还自认为是“灵活”哩。
还有,老师来上课,有的同学随便说笑,见到班主任站在门口,我们立刻肃静无声,可班主任一走,我们又放肆起来……
昨晚的那位司机,使我想得很多很多……
刚才看了陆川的南京南京,着实让我完全不懂他的表达方式。如果不是事先知道这部电影由陆川导演的,我会以为这是一部日本人拍得南京大屠***纪念片。同学都说看完之后人很压抑,我倒是看完之后感觉特别郁闷,我心目中的南京大屠***纪念片不应该是这个样子的。
首先,其中大部分的对话是日语的,再加上我看得是枪版(原谅我看盗版片子,实在是这里的电影院不上映,听起来相当的累人。拉贝还要讲德语,另外两个外国救助者要讲英文,群众们还要讲上海话苏北话和不标准的普通话,我的脑子无时无刻都不停在转换这些语言。
其次,陆川同志对大屠***的理解由电影的表达方式来看是:日本人很无奈,中国人很懦弱,所以造成了南京大屠***。一开场,偌大一个教堂里,站了满满的中国人,几个日本兵进去,连他们自己都害怕了,要偷偷溜走去叫后援。中国人做了什么?中国人举起了双手,老百姓的,军人的,连枪都举起来了!难道我们的军人就那么没用?那么怕死?这么多人都制服不了几个日本鬼子?
接着刘烨出场,带着一个儿童在那里打仗,我只能说,中国男人都死光了,连小孩都能应对这样的场景。再后来,被拉去屠***的时候,开头大家都害怕了,死活赖着不走,这是抗议么?这是怕死的表现!后来刘烨带头走,小豆倒是义无反顾得跟上,开头都那么怕死的人,却在枪决关头喊出中国万岁,有这么刻画人物的么?日本人冲进难民营枪***受伤的中国兵时,第一个镜头就是一个包着头的伤病拿着手枪对准自己下颚就是一枪。我只想说我日,你有枪,又不怕死,为什么不朝敌人开,死也拉几个垫背的?然后拍难民营的时候大家麻将照打,戏照唱。简直无忧无虑阿,这是真实的难民营么?
接着说说里面几个关键人物,唐先生,不说了,为了小家牺牲大家,不懂他为什么被日本人害过了还会接着相信日本人。真以为会说日文:我是良民,日本兵就饶你性命了。拉贝,他是唯一让我感动的人,一次号召大家出100位女人,1次临走前的跪别,都让我感触颇深。一个外国人都可以这样为中国人民鞠躬尽瘁,为什么中国人民就不能团结起来一致对外呢?角川,一个在教会上过学的日本小队长,会说蹩脚的英语,会跟打死的人讲:我不是故意的。。。我觉得编剧很白痴,能当上队长,难道会是第一次***人么?他的那个好朋友,前一分钟跟唐先生称兄道弟,后一分钟就把他送上刑场,行刑的时候还不忍看,可能么?现实么?还有剧中为日本人跑腿的都是中国人,日本兵抢中国人的鸡鸭等也是因为‘这下我们可以吃饱一点了’,真是很傻很天真。
不过陆川的电影着实反映了一个具有中国特色的现象就是女人撑起大半边天。在要求牺牲100个女人时,小江轻描淡写得带头出来,于是她们拯救了整个难民营;在最后抓中国兵时,女性又去解救她们的同胞,姜老师一次又一次得带人出来,直至最后被发现。我觉得陆川简直想说,中国的女人们简直就是救世主,中国的男人们就只会扯着嗓子喊:姜老师,救我,救我。
最后陆川还要用大量的时间来描述日本的葬礼仪式以及角川的自***,我只是觉得他在说:看,南京大屠***也不能全怪日本人,我们也是很无奈的,我们也牺牲了很多人。
这部电影没有我想象中那样精彩,想比之下,去年的‘nanking’纪录片以及以前的南京大屠***更震撼更真实。改变角度去拍是好事,可是表达方式有问题,我觉得我不能接受这部据说相当精彩的电影。
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