本文格式正确,意思表述完整,行文流畅自然。作者在写作过程中注意长短句并用,还使用了以‘which,’引导的非限定性定语从句,从而使文章层次分明,富于变化,不愧为考场佳作。
My favorite sports star------ Sun Yang
Born on December 1, 1991 in Zhejiang Province, Sun Yang is very tall and the height is 1.99 meters. He was from a sports family.
He won the China's first gold medal in men's swimming game. He worked a miracle. Sun Yang is not only gifted but also diligent. He keeps training and has tenacious willpower; these are worth learning by other people. Sun Yang is a new frontrunner at the sports worlds.
Sun Yang is very popular with the young. He is adorable, charming, childlike and cool. He is kind and has the vigor of youth, and he is a little shy. But Sun Yang is easy-going, always with a smile on his face when he faces our. He sings well and sounds beautiful. To my surprise, he likes dolls very much.
Sun Yang sets us a good example, and Sun Yang has set a new world record of swimming, of which the whole country’s people are proud
I have a great mother. She cares much about me in my life and study.
In the morning, she gets up early to make breakfast for me. When I was little, she prepared my schoolbag. But now, she tells me to do it by myself. Because she thinks I have been old enough to do it. Besides, she always checks my homework. When I finish my homework, she checks it and points out the mistakes. She is very careful and helps me a lot.
I love my mother.
有一位"母亲"比母亲更母亲,那便是我们的祖国--中国。她,在漫长的岁月里,孕育了长青的山川,长碧的江水,也培育出千千万万的孩子--中国人。
作为一个中国人,可堪自豪的事物实在太多了。我们勤俭而诚恳,友善而勇敢,这是叫亿万炎黄子孙倍感骄傲的传统美德。(开头两段,第一段扣住"传统"--漫长,第二段扣住美德。入题快。
"勤",是中国传统美德中最闻名于世的。中国人以农立,"锄禾日当午,汗滴禾下土。谁知盘中餐,粒粒皆辛苦。"农民们日出而作,日落而息,长年累月辛勤地劳动,以汗水换来硕硕丰成,造福子孙后代;同时也因为"勤",加上极富锲而不舍的研究精神,中国人创造了四大发明、圆周率、浑天仪、《本草纲目》等等智慧结晶,在人类历史上写下了极其光辉的篇章。(此段说"勤",引用的诗句体现"勤",四大发明等说明"勤"的结果。
中国人是勇敢的,有傲气的。南宋名将岳飞以精忠报国的信念,燃起了他那不屈不挠的强烈爱国心志,为国家,为民族抛头颅,洒热血,奋勇抗敌,保卫河山;民族英雄文天祥,少有大志,终不肯向元人投降,最后从容就义。他曾说过:"人生自古谁无死,留取丹心照汗青!"这是何等壮烈感人的豪语!他们的忠义能与日月争光,在民族史册上,烙下了不朽的印迹!
中国人爱国,对自己的国家有着非笔墨可形容的深感情。爱国诗人陆游在遗作《示儿》中写道:"死去元知万事空,但悲不见九州同。王师北定中原日,家祭无忘告乃翁。"他对死亡泰然处之,临终时还念挂着国家民族的安危,是多么可敬可佩啊!北宋著名文学家及政治家范仲淹,忧国忧民,他"先天下之忧而忧,后天下之乐而乐"的精神,充分反映出他"以天下为己任""国家兴亡,匹夫有责"的高贵情操。翻开中国历史,这样为国家、社稷鞠躬尽瘁、死而后已的人物比比皆是,林则徐、孙中山、***等等,真是数之不尽。(此两段说"爱国",例举的人物都是历史上的爱国人物,议论中有强烈的感情,用语形象,如"燃起了他那不屈不挠的强烈爱国心志"。
孝道也是中国传统美德中的代表,它根植在人心。"卧冰求鲤""黄香暖席"的故事,广受传颂。而古诗里的人物花木兰更是家喻户晓,她为免老父再受征战沙场的痛苦,决心女扮男装代父从军,是一位不可多得的孝女。
反观现今的社会--人与人之间的关系日渐疏离,变得淡薄、冷漠,这些奠基在利益上的人际关系,缺乏彼此的互谅关怀,完全没有温情可言;而家庭不和、子女忤逆引发的伦常悲剧,差不多每天都可在报纸上读到,在新闻报导中儿女一朝飞黄腾达后,便对父母置之不理,任由父母风餐露宿的事已屡见不鲜;人们的浮夸作风,自以为是、吊儿郎当的处世态度随处可见,实际上,这种人是名副其实的"井底之蛙",常不可一世地自我吹嘘,对他人的才华不屑一顾,甚至冷嘲热讽,完全不明白"取人之长,补己之短"的道理,这的确是现今社会的一大哀歌。(此两段说"孝",先说"根植在人心",再"反观现今的社会",写得简洁。
"千里之堤,溃于蚁穴",若这些社会弊病越来越多,越积越深,到了积重难返的地步,会发生什么事情呢?我们固不能想象,也不敢想象。
我认为,中国传统美德是医治社会弊病的灵丹妙药。在这个时代,有重新提倡其价值的必要,以廓清社会歪风,为年青的新一代培养优良的品行、淳朴大方的风度,重见我国道德文化的光芒。(此两段说现实意义。
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