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period
Nowadays, many famous university campuses have become one of the popular tourist attractions. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that every year thousands and thousands of middle school students visit Tsing Hua University and Peking University and other famous universities in China. In the place far away from the capital city, the local students also visit the universities famous in their own province.
So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to open the university campus for tourists? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing for the students to visit the famous university campus in that it can enable the middle students to get more information about the university and they can have enough time and opportunity to prepare themselves with the chance to get into the university. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the public tourism will have negative effect on the universities because it will not only do harm to the environment but also to the intellectual atmosphere.
In my opinion, the tourism to the universities is not a good thing. The campus is mainly a place for study. With the increasing tourism on the campus, it will ruin the spiritual atmosphere in this learning field.
首先,提纯范文 “谋篇布局”及结构模板。
第一段:提出问题或现象。Nowadays, … … have become one of the popular … …. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that … ….
第二段:正反列举人们的看法。So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to … …? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing for … … in that … …. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, … … will have negative effect on … … because it will not only do harm to … … but also to … ….
第三段:摆明自己观点。In my opinion, … … is not a good thing. … … With the increasing … …, it will ruin … ….
其次,提纯范文“段落写作”。
段落写作分为统一性,连贯性和完整性三方面。
统一性(unity:段落开头的主题句应该做到不可太宽泛,也不可太具体,做到有较强的概括性才能使下文做到有的放矢的展开。范文第二段首句以设问的方式提出一个问题is it a good or bad thing就有很强的概况性。下文自然会一方面从好的方面说明,另一方面从坏的方面说明。
连贯性(coherence:关联词是使文章段落之间相互连贯的必要条件。范文中nowadays, on one hand, on the other hand, in one’s opinion即以“启承转合”递进的顺序是文章条理清晰,层层展开。
完整性(completeness:以设问句“So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to open the university campus for tourists?”开头,这是平时较少运用的段落写作方式——设问法。“On one hand … …. On the other hand, … ….”是段落写作分类列举法的典型用法。
再次,提纯范文“句子写作”。
1. It has been shown that … …
类似句型:It is known to us that … …
It is said that … …
It is reported that … …
It is controversial that … …
2. “… … Tsing Hua University and Peking University and other famous universities … …。”——并列句。并列句是简单的复杂句。但其运用方法并不简单,注意练习并接句的使用,会使句子显的更加饱满。
3. enable v. 使…能够
I gave him full directions to enable him to find the house.
4. in that = because
表“因为”的连词还有since, for, as,如:
The boy was absent because he was ill. = The boy was absent since he was ill.
此句以我们常用的人称开头,句式简单,我们可以通过把since提前改变句式,如:
Since the boy was ill, he was absent. 句式多样化。
最后,提纯范文“措辞”。
1. attraction n. 具有吸引力的事情。
2. thousands and thousands 成千上万的
形容“多”的表达方法:millions and millions
a multitude of
a great deal of
a large amount of
plenty of
many a
3. “some people argued that … …”中的“argue”并不是“讨论,辩论”的意思,而是“认为”。
I argue that … …
I maintain that … …
I claim that … …
I insist that … … = I think that … …
I hold that … …
I assert that … …
I assume that … …
4. negative adj. 否定的.,相反的
hold negative view = hold opposite opinions
5. phenomenon n. 现象
social phenomenon 社会现象
natural phenomenon 自然现象
6. intellectual adj. 聪明的= intelligent, bright, clever
(选词策略:使用最近所学的单词,如intellectual > intelligent > bright > clever
在分析并掌握范文之后,我们需要运用范文知识练习仿写。笔者运用2005年12月范文中的模板结构仿写了2006年12月的四级作文,以供参考:
1. 许多人喜欢在除夕夜看春节晚会
2. 但有些人提出取消春节晚会
3. 我的看法
Nowadays, the Spring Festival Evening has become one of the popular topic and attractions during every traditional New Year’s Eve. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that every year thousands and thousands of Chinese people appear to be accustomed to enjoying the sights and sounds of a brilliant feast, while gathering with their beloved family.
However, an increasing number of people have voiced different opinions towards it. So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to cancel the Spring Festival Evening? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing to amuse the audience in that it is composed by a numerous adequate programs, such as the emotional song, the graceful dance, the funny short sketch, the amusing comic dialogue, the delightful magic, and the marvelous acrobatics and so on. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the Spring Festival Evening will have negative effect on the family harmony because it will not only do harm to having the talks between family members on the Spring Festival Eve but also to enjoying the gourmet meal in a fancy restaurant.
In my opinion, the Spring Festival Evening is a good thing. It may not remain a must for all people, but it can bring us a strong sense of festivity and serve as an alternative among the variety of holiday activities. With the increasing audience of the Spring Festival Evening, it will ruin a distinctive culture during the Spring Festival vacation.
In composing an argument, you try to clarify an issue or solve a problem by finding the common ground between you and others who will read your work. Using critical thinking, you develop and test your own ideas. Using a variety of techniques, you engage readers in an attempt to narrow the distance between your views and theirs.
撰写议论文时,作者试图通过找到自己和读者之间的共同点来说明一种情况或解决一个问题。在议论文中,作者经过批判性的思考,通过一些论证方法证明自己的观点,并尝试通过各种技巧尽可能缩小作者和读者之间观点的距离。
局部映衬是指在作文中描写自然环境时,可在任何部分用自然环境映衬人物的精神品质或文章的主旨、情感,从而让文章品格得到提升。使用局部映衬法,景物描写的文字并不求多,而求“精”而“得体”。某个地方可能只有一句景物描写,但就因这一句话,提升了这篇作文的整体质量。如一同学暑假回农村老家探亲,目睹了兄妹换亲的封建陋俗,写了一篇《探亲》的作文,文章结尾写到“第二天清早,我上路回城了。走时山村好静,走过童年的小树,我不禁回首:山村雾茫茫,人们还没有从梦中醒来呢。”作者描写山村茫茫的雾气,并以此暗示山村人们还未从梦中醒来,亦即还未丢掉封建陋俗,文章的主旨因此得到升华。
使用“局部映衬法”,需要注意的是须根据自己描写自然环境想要达到的目的来决定描写何种景物,并去寻找景物与达到的目的之间的关系。如果要表现一个人物的某种品格,可用和煦的春风映衬“温暖”“温馨”,用各种表现纯净美好的景物映衬人物的高尚品质……这一笔能使文章不仅停留在记叙层面,而有了一个精神的升华;如果要表现亲情主题,可用明媚的阳光象征与突出亲情所带来的温暖与温馨;如果要突出怀念主题,可适当描述秋景;如果要渲染紧张气氛,可以电闪雷鸣;如果要表现伤感,可以阴雨连绵……这个对应之处同学们可在平时进行优秀作文阅读的时候加以积累。
1、重视描写的运用
(1)描写人物语言生动活泼、有个性
(2)描写人物动作细描个体动作、精写连续动作(见片段1、2)
(3)描写人物心理以景物映衬、以动作和神态暗示
(4)描写人物肖像个体神态、描画笑容
(5)描写景物映衬写景(衬托人物心理)、以景析理(情景交融)
2、精妙的表现手法
(1)借物抒情,化直接为含蓄,如《背影》
(2)妙用修辞,蕴深意于物象,如片段3
(3)双线展开,相得益彰,如片段4
(4)借助蒙太奇(将全文所表现的内容分为许多不同地镜头,然后有机地组合起来,产生连贯、呼应、对比、暗示、联想等作用)如片段5
3、展示才情和文化底蕴
【小布丁】写人离不开写事。写事是为了表现人的思想面貌和性格特点。写人要根据作文题目的要求,尽量选择自己熟悉的人来写,因为人的思想品质、精神面貌总是从他(她)所做的一些典型的事例中来表现的。以事写人,选用的事不论多少、大小,都要以揭(jiē)示人物的思想为原则。
【随心飞】我来举个例子:一位同学写《我的妈妈》,通过写妈妈去市场买菜忘带钱和做菜时把盐当成糖这两件事,来突出表现她粗心的特点。
【小麦】写人最重要的是要具体写出他(她)的特点。所谓特点,就是这个人与其他人不同的地方,只有把特点写出来,才能给读者留下鲜明的印象,作文才能出新。新,是指新颖,与众不同,别具一格,这是作文最可贵的地方。
【凭栏听雨】如《爱时髦(máo)的奶奶》一文,小作者向大家介绍了一个75岁高龄的奶奶,每天穿着时尚,爱臭美。这样的选材就很新颖,别具一格。
【小布丁】在描写时还要抓住细节。将人物在“做什么”、“怎样做”都生动、具体地描写出来,以达到人物做事的连贯性。其中行动、语言描写最重要。因为人物的性格必须通过他(她)的语言、行动来表现。写人物的行动,就可以使人“活”起来,写人物的语言(指人物的对话,也包括人物的自言自语),就能表现人物的`身份、年龄、思想、作风和性格等。使所写的人物形象变得栩(xǔ)栩如生,有血有肉。
【小浪花】写人还离不开写环境。人物都是在具体环境中生存和活动的,人物的思想感情变化和具体环境是紧密联系着的。因此,环境描写对表现人物、衬托人物的思想面貌、烘托人物性格、表现中心思想有着重要的作用。如,一位同学在描写自己父亲在田里干农活,就着重描摹了当时炽(chì)热的天气,为父亲吃苦耐劳的形象做了很好的衬托。
【小麦】总之,只要同学们善于观察,勤于思考,抓住不同人物的不同特征,再选择典型的事例去描写,就一定能够写好写人记叙文。
所谓“整体烘托法”指的是作文中的自然环境描写从整体上定下了全文的情感基调,或定下了故事的发生氛围,或作为一个重要要素参与了整个故事的发展。最常见的有两种情况:
第一,将同一环境描写作为某种氛围的.衬托放在文章开头,并在接下来的叙述中仍不时提到。这个环境描写通常定下全文的情感氛围或交待整个故事发生的背景。如一篇满分作文《较量》,写“我”作为班干部与班里恶作剧同学的一场较量,突出“我”的勇敢,在文章开头即写电闪雷鸣,风雨交加,环境描写不多,但从整体上给文章定下了一个紧张的环境氛围。
第二,将一两个环境描写作为线索贯穿全文始终。在这种情况中,须在开头即涉及这处环境描写,以此形成线索的始端,然后各段或关键段落都要写到这个或这些环境,文字可长可短,位置可为段首,亦可段末,这样会使人对这一自然环境产生深刻印象。具体可分成两种情况,第一,自然环境在文章事件发展过程中是变化的,如一些文章要写某事从不好变到好,便会使用雨过天晴的环境描写,在开头写阴雨连绵,文中雨慢慢变小,文尾则变成阳光灿烂。第二,某一自然环境在文中反复出现,但自然环境本身变化不大,只是承载了某种情感或主题。如一篇北京中考满分作文《凝聚》,其中“阳光”作为一个环境描写,在文中反复出现,但内容上并无很大变化,因为阳光承载的是同样一份“亲情”。
点评:
所有环境均服务文章主题,故写环境时,需注意环境描写并非文章主体。也即一篇作文中描写自然环境的文字不一定要多,但要“得体”。所谓“得体”即是说文中描写的自然环境须与其记叙的事件有一定的内在联系,或对其要表达的情感,主旨或其中的人物形象能起到烘托,突出的作用。
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