由于孩子日常使用的是对白语言,表达起来缺乏条理性和连贯性,说起话来前言不搭后语,跳跃性很强,有时重复,有时带语病。在训练时不能操之过急,耐心地指导孩子有条理地说,连贯地说,用普通话大声地说,及时纠正语病。在说的基础上再动笔写,自然是瓜熟蒂落、水到渠成了。
人与事是分不开的。一个人做的事很多,在作文时我们应选择那些最能表现人物思想、性格和文章中心思想的典型事件。
我家的“吉祥三宝”
“宝王” —妈妈
经典宝事:走错了家
有一次,我们一家三口回家去,妈妈带着我们边上楼梯,边讲自己今天买了什么衣服。越说越起劲,等到走到了五楼了,妈妈才发觉不对,只听得她大叫一声:“错了,错了,三楼的家怎么走到了五楼了!”我和爸爸跟着走,也才发觉,我们都笑妈妈说:“你都已经住了这么久了,连家都不知道在哪了!”妈妈不好意思地说:“都怪我讲衣服讲得太投入了。”
“大宝” —爸爸
经典宝事:刚买的新车卡在半路上
那天,我和爸爸去领新车。我美滋滋地坐在车上,突然,爸爸的车卡在转弯处。前后的车都在按着喇叭,急得爸爸满头是汗。我紧张地问:“爸爸,你不会开车吗?”爸爸说:“哎,刚考出驾照,车技不好。”后来,爸爸硬着转过弯来,结果新车挂出了一道痕。回到家,爸爸摸着车心疼极了。我安慰爸爸说:“没事的,就只挂了一点,没人看到的。”爸爸听了,才心情好点。唉,爸爸的车技真令我紧张!
“小宝” —我
经典宝事:反穿裤子
那天早上,我睡觉太死了,闹钟叫了几次还没有醒。等我7点起来,字迷迷糊糊中匆忙把衣服穿好,就急急忙忙地上学去了。到了晚上,妈妈看到我的裤子,惊讶地说:“你的裤子怎么裤缝都露出来了?”我低头看看,原来把裤子穿反了。一家人哈哈大笑,我却羞死了:我一整天在学校不都反穿裤子了?
亲爱的同学们,你说我们一家是不是都是“宝”呀!哈哈!不过,我喜欢这个“吉祥三宝”的'家。
虽然搬进新家已经几年了,但一奶一一奶一总时不时地提起老家。一提起老家,我脑海里就会浮现出自家院子里的那棵柚子树。
春天,柚子树长满了密密麻麻的新叶。但你若是细看,就会发现一个个“迷你”小柚子!它们每天都在生长,挣扎着让自己变大、变甜、变成熟。望着满树的“迷你”柚子,我和小伙伴们禁不住诱一惑,隔几天就会摘下一两个来“品尝”。虽然每次吃到嘴里的柚子都是又酸又苦,但大家的心里却是“甜”的!
夏天,柚子树显得更加苍翠茂盛,好似在院子里撑了一把绿色的巨伞,为我们挡住了夏天的酷热。这时,柚子也比以前大多了。我和小伙伴们一起在树下乘凉时,不知是谁提议,说我们来踢“柚子球”了。这下,那些个大的柚子可就遭殃了,还 没成熟,就被我们这些“小捣蛋”摘下来当球踢。但这若让一奶一一奶一看到,肯定少不了一顿骂!
秋天,柚子真的成熟了!一奶一一奶一把这些柚子都摘下来,总不忘分几个给左邻右舍。隔壁的王一奶一一奶一和孙爷爷拿到柚子,乐得合不拢嘴。大家一般都舍不得吃柚子,只闻柚香。前后六七户人家,没有一户不“沉浸”在柚子的清香里。
冬天,虽然树上的柚子没了,但这一年中,柚子给我们带来的快乐,足以一温一暖整个冬天……
几年过去了,院子里的柚子树早被砍掉了,连老家的房子都被拆掉了。但每当听一奶一一奶一提起老家,我总会想起五六年前,老家院子里的那棵给我童年带来无穷欢乐的柚子树!
“加油!加油!……”这是怎么回事,操场上这么热闹?哦!原来是学校正在举行一年一度的跳绳比赛,这是三年级3班和三年级4班的比赛呀!
比赛前,同学们兴高采烈地跑到操场上,大家异常的兴奋。有的同学非常紧张,正捧着水“咕咚、咕咚”地大口喝水;有的同学觉得自己心有成竹了,不由地聊起天来;还有的同学生怕跳不好,还在抓紧练习呢!
只听见老师一声令下,比赛正式开始了。同学们甩着手中五颜六色的绳子,脚上不停的跳着。你看,我们班的汪天赤,他飞快的甩着手中的绳子;看那边的吴嘉祥,他拼命的甩着绳子,把绳子都甩出去了!看那边的叶程也是不示弱,双手甩着绳子,脚下还不时的发出“呼呼”声,那优美的动作像一只美丽的蝴蝶一样翩翩起舞哩!
时间一分一秒的过去了,不一会儿,我就要上场了,我拿起绳子,心里忐忑不安,我挺直腰板,飞快的甩着绳子,脚下像装了两个弹簧一样,不停地跳着,过了不久,我累得上气不接下气了,心想;要是我放弃了就会给班级拖后腿的,我一定不能放弃!就在这时,我听见一旁的同学们一个劲儿的大声喊道;“加油,加油!”我听到了,鼓足了劲头,我一边跳,一边心里默默地数;162、163、164……突然老师吹响了哨子,我竟然跳了180下!我一看分数挡,我们班得了第一名,虽然此时我已经气喘吁吁了,但是,心里还是很自豪的!
我们班得了第一名同学们全围到了我身边,欣喜若狂的说;“张子骞,你太棒了,这次拿到奖状,还是你的功劳啊!”比赛就在这一阵欢声笑语中结束了……
这真是一场精彩的跳绳比赛啊!我一定永远把这段回忆留在我的心里。
Computer is a very useful machine. Some of them are big, but some of them are very small .Many people like playing computer. Computer has many functions, so that people can do a lot of things by computer, like watching movies, listening to the music or playing games. It can make our lives very colorful and convenient. Various people can make good use of computer. Children can use computer to learn and play games. Parents can use computers to work. I think computer is a kind of wonderful and interesting machine, so I like computer very much.
电脑是一种很有用的机器。有的电脑很大,但是有的'很小。很多人喜欢玩电脑。电脑有很多功能,人们可以i用电脑做很多事情,比如说看电影,听音乐或者玩游戏。它可以使我们的生活充满色彩和便利。各种各样的人都可以好好利用电脑。小孩子可以用电脑来学习和玩游戏。父母可以用电脑来工作。我认为电脑是一种神奇有趣的机器,所以我很喜欢电脑。
我在这慢长的少年时期的道路上,和你一起踏过这路上的所有荆棘与坎坷,你在前方艰难的解决,而我在后方无忧的走来,就不知是你一直在帮我,走着走着,猝然回首,才知道你的默默帮助。
谢谢你的一路陪伴,一直到交叉路口,各奔西东,很难再相见。
在我进入六年级的前一天晚上,千万家的灯火都熄灭了,进入梦乡,唯有我家不同,在你的房间中,还有一只蜡烛还在燃烧,你在一旁一丝不苟的弄着什么,我悄悄的走进一看,咦!这不是我的备用被子吗?由于你的专注,完全不知我在身后,一针一线地缝着,偶尔还停下,揉揉发酸的眼睛,还在喃喃地说;“天气冷了,还得加层棉絮才行……”又继续缝着,原来这么晚还不睡是因为我呀!那昏黄的烛光火仿佛窜入了我的心中,如种子一样拔散在我心田上,长出一株株幼苗。
不由自由的想起了孟郊的《游子吟》;“慈母手中线,游子身上衣。临行密密缝,意恐迟迟归。谁言寸草心,报得三春晖?”你就像一支蜡烛,为我而点燃,在黑暗中给我光明;你就像一阵清风,为我而吹拂,在炎热中给我清爽;你就像一朵牡丹,为我而生存,在暗淡中给我色彩;你就像一只萤火虫,为我而存在,在迷失中给我指路……
母亲,我的母亲呀!你给我的太多。太多了,如果说我对你的爱是溪流,那么你对我的爱将会是汪洋大海!
母亲,谢谢您的一路相伴,您的付出如大海,每当我的人生之船遇到困难,你就会托起我这只船,带我到安全的地方,你总是那么伟大、那么无私!
谢谢你的一路相伴,谢谢您,我的母亲!在我遇到困难,你总会及时的出现帮助我,让我感到“山重水复疑无路,柳暗花明又一村。”谢谢您的一路相伴……
初稿
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money -it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
自评
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:23
互评(刘兴顺评)
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:23
互评(战越评)
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:
互评(李春霞评)
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:
细节描写就是对能充分表现文章中心思想的人物外貌,语言、动作、表情等细小环节作具体、细致的描写。
他是什么人?
高兴时——嘴角上泛起一阵涟漪,眼睛笑成了一条缝。
伤心时——鼻子两翼一掀一掀,眼睛里充满了泪水。
紧张时——不住地喘气,脸色灰白,双眉紧锁,一句话也说不出来。
愤怒时——竖起了眉毛,眼珠子瞪得像要弹出来似的。
发愣时——两眼直呆呆向前望去,木头一般地站在那里。
哭泣时——亮晶晶的泪珠在他是眼睛里滚动,然后,大大的、圆圆的、一颗颗闪闪发亮的泪珠顺着他的脸颊滚下来,滴在嘴角上、胸膛上、地上。
小学阶段以写人为主的记叙文,一般分为三种类型:写一个人、写两个人、写几个人。其中应以写一个人为主。
1、写一个人。
(一)通过写一件事写一个人。
1、要选择有代表性的生动事例画写。反映一个人的精神面貌的事例是很多的,通过一件事写人就要选取最有代表性的生动事例来写。
2、要写出事情的发展过程,使人物的形象逐步完整。
3、要把事情写具体。用一个典型事例记叙一个人,应该把这一事例写。
(二)通过几件事写一个人。
1、几件事不能相互矛盾,人物的性格在几件事中要和谐、统一。
2、概括交代和具体描写相结合。。
(三)、通过对比的方法写一个人。
通过对比方法写一个人,一般有三种:第一种是同一个人前后相比,说明这个人变化;第二种是对一个人的认识前后相比,说明这个人的品质;第三种是一个人同另一个人比,突出歌颂其中一个人。
2、写两个人
写两个人,一般是写《我和**》,**应包括亲人、同学、朋友、老师等熟悉的人,要写好这一类型的作文必须注意:
(一)要写好人物之间的联系。《我和**》,题目中突出了一个“和”字,这就要求从双方写起,通过具体的事例,写出“我”和**之间的联系。在叙事过程中,要写出彼此之间都想了些什么,说了些什么,做了些什么。
(二)用对话展开情节。写《我和**》作文时,要用对话展开情节,用对话表现文章的中心。
3、写几个人。
写几个人是比较复杂的以写人为主的记叙文,可以写“一家子”、“这一班”,也可以写“几个小伙伴”。总之,不论是家庭的,学校的、社会的,只要是自己熟悉的几人都行。
这类作文有以下几种写法。
(一)列人物表似的介绍。(二)有代表性的介绍。
(三)以一件事为线索写几个人。(四)通过几件事写几个人。
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