写景时必须按照一定的顺序来写,才能使条理清楚,才能让读者欣赏中的优美景致。我们常用的顺序有以时间为序和以空间为序两种。
以时间为顺序,就是以时间的先后来描写景物。主要表现在描写同一景物时,突出景物在不同时间、不同季节发生的变化。例如一天之内的早、中、晚,一年春,夏,秋,冬四季……
例如董铃同学《小路》一文中的描写:
在宽阔的大路旁,有一条不引人注目的小路。
温暖的春天,微风吹拂着,小路边小树上才发出一点点嫩绿小芽的树枝。乌黑发亮的小燕子,“叽”的一声,像离弦的箭飞过了小路。含苞未放的小野花快要开了,小草偷偷地冒出了地面,显得非常娇嫩,给小路增添了许多生趣。
夏天,野花开了,散发出一阵阵清香。远远望去路两边的小草郁郁葱葱,配上黄色的野花,好看极了。天气闷热,有些人在路边的大树下乘凉,享受着着甜蜜的快乐。暴雨无情地打在小路上,小草小花没有屈服,毅然挺立在风雨之中。小路一片泥泞,我踏着泥泞的小路向学校走去。
凉爽的秋天,金黄的谷穗沉甸甸地低下了头,高粱红了脸,小路上的小草变黄了。野葡萄野熟了,摘一个,酸甜可口,好吃极了。小路也变成金黄的了。
寒冷的冬天,西北风呼呼地吹着树枝来回摇摆。我迎着刺骨的寒风走在小路上。天上飘下白莹莹的小雪花,小路变成了银白的路。小路上留下一串串深深的脚印。雪渐渐地盖住我的脚印。
这篇作文按照春、夏、秋、冬四个不同的季节,描写了小路景色的变化。小作者观察细致,抓住了小路各季节的不同特征。这条小路是小作者非常熟悉的景物,所以小路在他的笔下充满生机,“活”了起来。通过作者的描写我们看到了萌动的春天,小草“偷偷地冒出地面”;暴风雨的夏天,“小草小花没有屈服”;凉爽的秋天,“小路一片金黄”;寒冷的冬天,“小路变成了银白的路”。
写景还可按景物的空间顺序来写,如左,右,前,后,东,西等方位。或由远到近,或由近到远,或由上到下,或由下到上,还可以按游览顺序来写。
例如苏雁同学《登青秀山塔》一文中的描写:
秋末冬初,天高气爽。星期天,爸爸妈妈带着我们和哥哥来到青秀山公园参观游览。
刚一进门,我和哥哥便向那塔跑去。来到塔脚,举目仰望,才发现比在远处看见的更雄伟,更高大。塔是八角形的,共分九层,塔身直插苍天。塔的每层都有彩色的琉璃瓦檐角,角下垂挂着金色的风铃,这漂亮的小巧的风铃儿,在微风中时而发出美妙动听的铃声,吸引游人停住脚步欣赏一会儿。随后,我们便进入拱门的塔门,开始攀登了。
塔的梯子真奇特,是螺旋形的,像个巨大的螺丝钉。……从窗口往外望,每层的酱色都不一样。第二层看到的是四周郁郁葱葱的树木。第五层可看到整个青秀山的面貌了,还可以望见江水由西向东奔流而去。……
越往上登,窗户越小,风声却越来越大,我的帽子差点被吹掉了。到了顶层往下看:江边的公路细得像根管子,马车、行人都小得像蚂蚁,旁边的房子成了火柴盒。
步出塔门,我们还依依不舍地瞧那风铃。……
小作者是按照从外到内、从低到高的顺序写了塔的特点,和登上塔顶向下俯视看到的情景。脉络清晰,层次分明表达了自己所看所想。
Expert tips on how to prevent avian influenza H7N9 collated by current argument data dictionary
1.平时加强体育锻炼,多休息,避免过度劳累,不吸烟,勤洗手;注意个人卫生,打喷嚏或咳嗽时掩住口鼻。
1 usually strengthen physical exercise, rest more, avoid excessive overworked, do not smoke, wash their hands; pay attention to personal hygiene, when sneezing or coughing and cover your nose and mouth.
2.保持室内清洁,使用消毒液清洗的地毯,避免使用难以清洗的地毯,保持地面、天花板、家具及墙壁清洁,确保排水道通畅;保持室内空气流通,应每天开窗换气两次,每次至少10分钟,或使用抽气扇保持空气流通;尽量少去 空气不流通的场所。
2 keep the room clean, use disinfectant cleaning carpets, avoid the use of hard to clean the carpet, keep the floor, ceiling, furniture and walls clean, to ensure smooth drainage channel; maintains the indoor air circulation, ventilation windows should be at least two times a day, 10 minutes each time, or use a fan to keep air circulation; as little as possible to airless places.
3.注意饮食卫生,进食禽肉、蛋类要彻底煮熟,加工、保存食物时要注意生、熟分开;养成良好的卫生习惯,搞好厨房卫生,不生食禽肉和内脏。解剖活(死家禽、家畜及其制品后要彻底洗手。
3, pay attention to food hygiene, eating meat, eggs should be thoroughly cooked, processing, preservation of food to the attention of raw, cooked separately; develop good health habits, good kitchen hygiene, do not eat raw poultry meat and offal. Anatomy of living (dead to wash hands thoroughly, livestock and poultry products.
同时,在户外洗手不方便的时候,可以使用免洗洗手液,随身携带,随时随地隔离病菌,呵护您的健康。
At the same time, when the outdoor hand-washing is not convenient, can use hand sanitizer, carry whenever and wherever possible, isolate the pathogen, take care of your health.
4.发现疫情时,应尽量避免与禽类接触;公众特别是儿童应避免密切接触家禽和野禽。
4 found in the epidemic, should avoid contact with poultry; the public especially children should avoid close contact with poultry and wild birds.
5.注意生活用具的消毒处理。禽流感病毒不耐热,100°C下一分钟即可灭活。对干燥、紫外线照射、汞、氯等常用消毒药都很敏感。
5 pay attention to disinfection and living appliances. Avian influenza viruses do not heat, 100 ° C, one minute can be inact
Nowadays, many famous university campuses have become one of the popular tourist attractions. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that every year thousands and thousands of middle school students visit Tsing Hua University and Peking University and other famous universities in China. In the place far away from the capital city, the local students also visit the universities famous in their own province.
So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to open the university campus for tourists? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing for the students to visit the famous university campus in that it can enable the middle students to get more information about the university and they can have enough time and opportunity to prepare themselves with the chance to get into the university. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the public tourism will have negative effect on the universities because it will not only do harm to the environment but also to the intellectual atmosphere.
In my opinion, the tourism to the universities is not a good thing. The campus is mainly a place for study. With the increasing tourism on the campus, it will ruin the spiritual atmosphere in this learning field.
首先,提纯范文 “谋篇布局”及结构模板。
第一段:提出问题或现象。Nowadays, … … have become one of the popular … …. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that … ….
第二段:正反列举人们的看法。So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to … …? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing for … … in that … …. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, … … will have negative effect on … … because it will not only do harm to … … but also to … ….
第三段:摆明自己观点。In my opinion, … … is not a good thing. … … With the increasing … …, it will ruin … ….
其次,提纯范文“段落写作”。
段落写作分为统一性,连贯性和完整性三方面。
统一性(unity:段落开头的主题句应该做到不可太宽泛,也不可太具体,做到有较强的概括性才能使下文做到有的放矢的展开。范文第二段首句以设问的方式提出一个问题is it a good or bad thing就有很强的概况性。下文自然会一方面从好的方面说明,另一方面从坏的方面说明。
连贯性(coherence:关联词是使文章段落之间相互连贯的必要条件。范文中nowadays, on one hand, on the other hand, in one’s opinion即以“启承转合”递进的顺序是文章条理清晰,层层展开。
完整性(completeness:以设问句“So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to open the university campus for tourists?”开头,这是平时较少运用的段落写作方式——设问法。“On one hand … …. On the other hand, … ….”是段落写作分类列举法的典型用法。
再次,提纯范文“句子写作”。
1. It has been shown that … …
类似句型:It is known to us that … …
It is said that … …
It is reported that … …
It is controversial that … …
2. “… … Tsing Hua University and Peking University and other famous universities … …。”——并列句。并列句是简单的复杂句。但其运用方法并不简单,注意练习并接句的使用,会使句子显的更加饱满。
3. enable v. 使…能够
I gave him full directions to enable him to find the house.
4. in that = because
表“因为”的连词还有since, for, as,如:
The boy was absent because he was ill. = The boy was absent since he was ill.
此句以我们常用的人称开头,句式简单,我们可以通过把since提前改变句式,如:
Since the boy was ill, he was absent. 句式多样化。
最后,提纯范文“措辞”。
1. attraction n. 具有吸引力的事情。
2. thousands and thousands 成千上万的
形容“多”的表达方法:millions and millions
a multitude of
a great deal of
a large amount of
plenty of
many a
3. “some people argued that … …”中的“argue”并不是“讨论,辩论”的意思,而是“认为”。
I argue that … …
I maintain that … …
I claim that … …
I insist that … … = I think that … …
I hold that … …
I assert that … …
I assume that … …
4. negative adj. 否定的.,相反的
hold negative view = hold opposite opinions
5. phenomenon n. 现象
social phenomenon 社会现象
natural phenomenon 自然现象
6. intellectual adj. 聪明的= intelligent, bright, clever
(选词策略:使用最近所学的单词,如intellectual > intelligent > bright > clever
在分析并掌握范文之后,我们需要运用范文知识练习仿写。笔者运用2005年12月范文中的模板结构仿写了2006年12月的四级作文,以供参考:
1. 许多人喜欢在除夕夜看春节晚会
2. 但有些人提出取消春节晚会
3. 我的看法
Nowadays, the Spring Festival Evening has become one of the popular topic and attractions during every traditional New Year’s Eve. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that every year thousands and thousands of Chinese people appear to be accustomed to enjoying the sights and sounds of a brilliant feast, while gathering with their beloved family.
However, an increasing number of people have voiced different opinions towards it. So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to cancel the Spring Festival Evening? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing to amuse the audience in that it is composed by a numerous adequate programs, such as the emotional song, the graceful dance, the funny short sketch, the amusing comic dialogue, the delightful magic, and the marvelous acrobatics and so on. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the Spring Festival Evening will have negative effect on the family harmony because it will not only do harm to having the talks between family members on the Spring Festival Eve but also to enjoying the gourmet meal in a fancy restaurant.
In my opinion, the Spring Festival Evening is a good thing. It may not remain a must for all people, but it can bring us a strong sense of festivity and serve as an alternative among the variety of holiday activities. With the increasing audience of the Spring Festival Evening, it will ruin a distinctive culture during the Spring Festival vacation.
有的记叙文,比人物的思想感情变化为线索,由此,便可以找到划分段落层次的依据。比如,杨朔的《荔枝蜜》,全文以作者对蜜蜂的感情变化为线索:
①不喜欢蜜蜂----②想去看蜜蜂-----③赞赏蜜蜂------④想变成蜜蜂。
划分记叙文的方法还有很多,比如情节、顺序等,这里就不一一叙述了。
以时间的先后为顺序的记叙文,宜抓住表示事件发展的关键性词语或者句子,分出不同的阶段,从而划分出段落层次来。
例如,分析杨沫的《坚强的战士》,只要抓住时间词语的这条纵线便可以分出段落层次:
“过一夜”(领起第一部分)----------“第二天上午”(领起第二部分)------------“夜晚” ( 领起第三部分 ,抓住这三个起领段落的词语,也就划分出文章的三个段落。
首先,要 言之有物,有话可说。如写《校园的树》,学生们觉得很枯燥,要写的不过是树的位置,树干、树枝、树叶的特点。我却不这样认为,树下小草,树上小鸟,树旁建 筑等等都可以写入作文。如果你带着感情去写,要写的就更多了。面对同一景物,当你高兴时和感到不愉快时想法一样吗?答案当然是不一样。当你高兴时,会觉得 小树对你微笑点头;当你不愉快时,会觉得小树发出呜呜的哭声。人的感情有多种,面对景物的感受也就多样。这样想想,是不是还有很多可以写入作文呢?
其次,要有条理,按一定顺序写。同样写《校园的`树》,我们可以按时空方位顺序按从上到下、从左到右去写。也可以按时间顺序写出树的一天或一年的变化。选择什么样的写作顺序,就要看根据表达的中心而定。
最 后,要抓住细节,突出中心。文章中心的表达,要通过细节让读者想出来,而不是空洞的说理,那样,会使人觉得很乏味。同样写《校园的树》,如果中心确定为表 达树的顽强生命力,就要抓住树上小虫啃咬树干这个细节;如果要表达它为校园增添了生机和活力,就要抓住树上小鸟流连枝头,去而复返这个细节。不过,细节是 稍纵即逝的东西,要我们在认真观察的基础上,善于发现,善于捕捉。
一篇好的写景作文,犹如一幅美丽图画。要根据中心需要抓住 细节,按一定的写作顺序,对素材进行筛选,有详有略,一气呵成,做到成竹在胸,就一定能写好的写景作文。
任何景物都具有自己的特点,都有和其他景物的不同之处。观察时,要细致,要学习抓住景物的特点,例如它的形状、色彩、声音等方面的特征,就是找出观察景物与其他不同类景物及同类景物之间的区别。应从不同角度入手,写准景物,写活景物。
例如孙骋同学《神奇的雁荡山》一文中的描写:
山上各种奇形怪状的石峰真神奇,有青蛙聚会、老僧拜塔、少女头像等。山中剪刀峰的变化特别多,从不同的方向看,他会变成玉柱、船帆、啄木鸟……
雁荡山白天很壮美,她的夜景更是迷人。随着夜幕的降临,双笋峰变成了一对巨大的蜡烛;从渡船岸上侧看,它又像老僧送客;向前走几步看,它却变成了一位扎着头巾的老婆婆;再走几步,转眼间,它又变成了一位老公公。真有趣!雁荡山真奇妙,白天还是一座座秀美的山峰,夜晚就变成了艺术家手下的一张张动人的剪影。
形象地写出了雁荡山各种石峰形状各不相同;又写出了同一座山峰从不同的角度看的不同形状,小作者抓住了这些景物特点,把“神奇的雁荡山”鲜活地呈现在我们面前。
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