Last Sunday, Jim went out to fly a kite. The kite flew highly in the sky. Jim ran with it happily.
Suddenly the line was broken and the kite flew away. Soon it disappeared. Where was it?
Jim had no idea. So he had to run here and there to look for the kite. At last he saw it on the top of the tree. He tried to get it down. But he couldn’t. He felt sad.
1。 头绪分明,脉络清楚
写好记叙文,首先要头绪分明,脉络清楚,明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析,弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程,然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”,但动笔之前,围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。
2。 突出中心,详略得当
在文章的框架确定后,对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍,应该从表现文章主题的需要出发,分清主次,定好详略。要突出重点,详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节,略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化,使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题,也需要一定的技巧。如:
One night a man came to our house and told me, "There is a family with eight children。 They have not eaten for days。" I took some food with me and went。
When I finally came to that family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured (破坏外貌) by hunger。 There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger。
I gave the rice to the mother。 She divided the rice in two, and went out, carrying half the rice。 When she came back, I asked her, "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer, "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"
3。 用活语言,准确生动
记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动,又要表现力强,这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动,其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。
原文:
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away。 He was soon lost among people and traffic。 He could not find the way back home and started crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying。 They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened。 Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived。 The two students decided to take him home。 Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound。 She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money, but they didn't take it。 She served them with tea but they left。
修改后:
The other day, five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street。 After some time, he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home。 But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic。 When he could not find the way home, he started and crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop。 They immediately went up to him。
"Little boy, why are you standing here crying?" they asked。
"I want Mom, I go home。" said the boy, still crying。
"Don't worry, we'll send you home。"
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy's house。 With the help of a policeman, they finally found it。
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound, she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house。 Gratefully, she offered them some money, saying it was a way to express her thanks, but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea。
在回家的路上,我小声嘟囔着:“唉……怎么会……我从没考过这么差!杯具啊!”一路上,小鸟唧唧喳喳叫个不停,好像在对我说:“考了59分,唉!身为一个好学生,不害臊!”此刻,太阳公公也在怒视着我,仿佛在对我说:“现在别发牢***了,早知现在,何必当初啊!”平常漫长的路在今天变得那么短暂,很快我就挨到了家门口。
站站在家门口,我的脑袋在反复思考着:“进还是不进呢?进还是不进呢?…..还是进吧!”我轻声向门口走去,就在我的手即将碰到门的一刹那,却又像触电般的缩了回来。就在这时,我听见了爸爸的声音:“妞妞怎么还不回来呀?今天领成绩,她考了多少分也不知道,急死我了。”我一听,心想:爸爸妈妈都对我抱有很大的期望,而我,却用59分的.试卷换走了父母10年的心血,不应该啊!
我犹豫地开了门,极不情愿的走了进去。只见爸爸妈妈迎了出来,把我团团围住,不住的问我:“考的怎么样?”我吞吞吐吐地说着:“我考了59分……”他们没有像我想象的那样暴躁,爸爸对我说:“没关系,这次考得不好,下次加把劲,努努力,就赶上去了。”妈妈也说:“是啊,只要努力,什么是都难不倒你,我的宝贝是最棒的!”姐姐也附和着:“对对,我看好你哟!”“我一定努力!”我坚定的说。
59分,59分,你让我深刻感到了家的温暖,这种温暖是任何地方,任何人都给不了的,除了家。我以后一定要以95分以上的成绩来回报我的家人、老师。
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