人们常说:中心是文章的灵魂,材料是文章的血肉,而结构则是文章的骨骼。只有具备了坚实匀称的骨骼,血肉和灵魂才能以更美的形式有所依附,有所寄托。同样,只有找到了恰当的结构形式,才能把文章的观点和材料、情节和场面等很好地串联、编织起来,使其成为一个完整的有机体。我观察了不少学生考场作文后,发现因谋篇布局不当而失分的现象并不少见,经归纳可知,布局谋篇容易出现的病症主要有以下几种。
病症一详略失当主次颠脱筋断骨少过渡
★★★文段一
他是一位不服老的人
走进卫生间,外公的咖喱水、洗发水、护发液、洗面奶琳琅满目,即使与爱美的少女们相比,也毫不逊色。每当外公走在街头,你可别惊诧,回头率还真高。
前几天,气温骤降,外公却坚持参加奥运宣传队,早上六七点钟就要出去,你看他,身着运动衫,脚穿运动鞋,肩披奥运宣传彩绸带,向路人发放着奥运知识宣传单,别提多精神了。
★★★文段二
他是一位不服老的人
走进卫生间,外公的咖喱水、洗发水、护发液、洗面奶琳琅满目,即使与爱美的少女们相比,也毫不逊色。每当外公走在街头,你可别惊诧,回头率还真高。
你可别以为外公只是在外形上把自己打扮成年轻人,其实,他的内心也像青年人一样活泼乐观、充满阳光。
前几天,气温骤降,外公却坚持参加奥运宣传队,早上六七点钟就要出去,外婆担心他会感冒,可着急了。可外公却手一摆:“老伴,没事。我的身体好得很,吃饭倍儿香,睡觉倍儿棒。像我这样心态年轻的人,身体不会有什么问题的。”你看他,身着红白相间的李宁运动衫,脚穿安踏运动鞋,肩披奥运宣传彩绸带,精神矍铄地向路人发放着奥运知识宣传单,那笑容满面、春风得意的样子,别提多精神了。难怪,外公常说:只要老年人心中关心时事,心就永远年轻;心年轻了,也就不老了。
★★★病症诊断
如果单独看,我们还无法发现前一个文段的病症,但与后一个文段进行比较后,我们会发现前一个文段中的关于谋篇布局的不少问题。
一、作者没有根据文章的中心进行详略布局,而是根据自己掌握材料的多寡和个人的喜好来决定材料的详略。掌握的材料多,熟悉的、喜欢的就多写、滥写;掌握的材料少,不喜欢的就少写、不写;例如,文段一中作者在表现外公“不服老”这个中心时,选择了化妆品的时尚这比较熟悉,就详列,而心态的年轻因不了解进行了略写,使得文章布局有些不当,因为要表现一个人“不服老”最主要的还是心态的年轻,作者应该在文章中详写后者。在文段二中就进行调整详写了后一材料,文章的材料详略得当了许多。
二、两个材料之间缺少必要的过渡,不注意材料之间的'内在关联。如文段一中作者叙写外公“不服老”的时候,从化妆品的时尚到心态的年轻,中间没有任何衔接,使得文章看起来很突兀。文段二中作者加上了过渡段后,文章就显得连贯了。
★★★应对策略
一篇文章中,哪些地方应浓墨重彩细加叙述和描写,哪些地方应一笔带过,要根据文章主旨表达的需要而定。一般而言,最能直接表现文章中心思想的地方就要详写;同中心思想有些联系、完全不写会对中心产生影响的,就要略写。例如,文段二中作者详写了最能表现外公“不服老”的年轻的心态的材料。
为了使作文中各段落之间衔接自然,我们可以使用不同的方法来实现过渡。一、词语过渡法,即根据上下文或思路的转换,用一些表示各种关系的,例如“因此”、“但是”、“其实”、“总而言之”等词语实现过渡;二、句子、段落过渡法,即用一个承上启下的句子或段落来完成衔接。例如,文段二中作者就用过渡段实现了材料的衔接。
病症二平铺直叙无起伏叙述无趣多乏味
★★★病文展示
飞吧,鸽子!
这天放学回家,妈妈显得异常高兴,她把我拉进昏暗的厨房。在角落里有个红色的纸篓子,她掀开一条缝告诉我说:“这小家伙大概是在外面冻坏了,我开门的时候,它竟然自投罗网。你最近学习挺辛苦,正好明天给你煮一顿鸽子汤,给你补一补!”
我一听,心想:老师经常教育我们,动物是人类的朋友,我们要与它们和谐相处。我怎么可以把它当做“美餐”呢!于是,我决心把它放了……
★★★病症诊断
古人云:“文似看山不喜平。”而这篇文章的作者在构思时,恰恰犯了“平”这一忌讳,全文都平铺直叙,情节故事既没有跌宕起伏,也没有“生动形象”,文章看起来,让人感觉如饮白开水,没有一点儿滋味。写文章和说话不同,我们在听别人叙述一件事时,只要他能说清楚就可以了,但写作文时,我们不但要把应该叙述的事情“说清楚”,而且还要尽量使叙述“生动形象”、“波澜起伏”,让人身临其境,产生阅读的兴趣和***。
★★★应对策略
文章要想写得波澜起伏、生动形象、富于变化,引人入胜,谋篇布局时我们可以巧妙地运用设置悬念、欲扬先抑、制造巧合、正反对比等方法。这些方法可以使文章叙事跌宕起伏、哲理意味深长,既满足读者的审美要求,又产生感人的艺术效果。
★★★升格作文
飞吧,鸽子!
这天放学回家,妈妈显得很高兴,拉着我的手说要给我一个惊喜。
我感到莫名其妙,跟着她走进了昏暗的厨房。
在厨房的一角,有一个红色的纸篓,倒扣在地上,在纸篓的上方,压着一叠旧书。
“这是怎么回事?”我指着墙角问。
妈妈神秘地说:“你自己先去看看吧!”
我好奇地慢慢走过去地将纸篓掀开一条缝,埋下头,向里面一瞧,一只黄色的、尖尖的爪子伸了出来——竟然是一只鸽子。
“这小家伙大概是在外面冻坏了,我开门的时候,它竟然自投罗网。你最近学习挺辛苦,明天中午炖了它,给你补一补!”
妈妈很满意地瞥了墙角一眼,然后,忙别的活计去了。
看来,这只可怜的小动物很快就要被请到“屠宰场”,然后化做我的一餐美味。
动物也是人类的朋友啊,我怎么可以……我将鸽子从篓子中取出,带到阳台上,托在掌心里……
(1) 不同观点列举型( 选择型 )
There is a widespread concern over the issue that __题目_____. But it is well known that the opinion concerning this hot topic varies from person to person. A majority of people think that _ 观点一________. In their views there are 2 factors contributing to this attitude as follows: in the first place, ___原因一_______.Furthermore, in the second place, ___原因二_____. So it goes without saying that ___观点一_____.
People, however, differ in their opinions on this matter. Some people hold the idea that ___观点二_______. In their point of view, on the one hand, ___原因一_______. On the other hand, ____原因二_____. Therefore, there is no doubt that ___观点二______.
As far as I am concerned, I firmly support the view that __观点一或二______. It is not only because ________, but also because _________. The more _______, the more ________.
(2)利弊型的`议论文
Nowadays, there is a widespread concern over (the issue that)___作文题目
______. In fact, there are both advantages and disadvantages in __题目议题_____. Generally speaking, it is widely believed there are several positive aspects as follows. Firstly, ___优点一______. And secondly ___优点二_____.
Just As a popular saying goes, "every coin has two sides", __讨论议题______ is no exception, and in another word, it still has negative aspects. To begin with, ___缺点一______. In addition, ____ 缺点二______.
To sum up, we should try to bring the advantages of __讨论议题____ into full play, and reduce the disadvantages to the minimum at the same time. In that case, we will definitely make a better use of the ____讨论议题___.
(3)答题性议论文
Currently, there is a widespread concern over (the issue that)__作文题目_______ .It is really an important concern to every one of us. As a result, we must spare no efforts to take some measures to solve this problem.
As we know that there are many steps which can be taken to undo this problem. First of all, __途径一______. In addition, anotheer way contributing to success of the solving problem is ___途径二_____.
Above all, to solve the problem of ___作文题目______, we should find a
number of various ways. But as far as I am concerned, I would prefer to solve the problem in this way, that is to say, ____方法_____.
(4) 谚语警句性议论文
It is well know to us that the proverb: " ___谚语_______" has a profound significance and value not only in our job but also in our study. It means ____谚语的含义_______. The saying can be illustrated through a series of examples as follows. ( also theoretically )
A case in point is ___例子一______. Therefore, it is goes without saying that it is of great of importance to practice the proverb ____谚语_____.
As far as I am concerned, I firmly support the view that __观点一或二_.
Itis not only because ________, but also because _________. The more _______, the more ________.
(2)利弊型的议论文
目______. In fact, there are both advantages and disadvantages in __题目议题
_____. Generally speaking, it is widely believed there are several positive aspJust As a popular saying goes, "every coin has two sides",is no exception, and in another word, it still has negative aspects. To begin with,To sum up, we should try to bring the advantages of 讨论议题
into full play, and reduce the disadvantages to the minimum at the same time.
( 3 答题性议论文
Currently, there is a widespread concern over (the issue that作文题目_______ .It is really an important concern to every one of us. As a result, we must spare no efforts to take some measures to solve this problem.
As we know that there are many steps which can be taken to undo this pr______, we should find a number of various ways. But as far as I am concern
( 4 谚语警句性议论文
语 has a profound significance and value not only in our job but also in our stu. ( also theoretically
______. Therefore, it is goes without saying that it is of great of importance to practice the proverb ____ With the rapid development of science and technology in China, an increasing number of people come to realize that it is also of practical use to stick to the saying: ____谚语
_____. The more we are aware of the significance of this famous saying, the more benefits we will get in our daily study and job..
★★★图表作文的框架
as is shown/indicated/illustrated by the figure/percentage in the _____ has been on rise/ decrease (goesup/increases/drops/decreases,significantly/dramatically/steadily rising/decreasing from______ in _______ to ______ in _____. From the sharp/marked decline/ rise in the chart, it goes without saying that ________.
There are at least two good reasons accounting for ______. On the one hand, ________. On the other hand, _______ is due to the fact that ________. In addition, ________ is responsible for _______. Maybe there are some other reasons to
show ________. But it is generally believed that the above mentioned reasons are commonly convincing.
As far as I am concerned,
I hold the point of view that _______. I am sure my opinion is both sound and well-grounded.
Sperber和Wilson主张用“关联原则”来解释人类的交际。他们认为,语言交际是一个认知过程,交际双方之所以能够配合默契,是因为有一个最佳的认知模式,即“关联”。关联由两个因素决定:语境效果和心智努力。人类认知活动的目标就是在认知过程中力图以最小的心智努力获得最大的语境效果。为了达到这个目标,人们必须把注意力集中于最为“关联”的信息,以获取信息和语境的最佳关联。最佳关联是指在话语理解时以一定的心智努力获得足够的语境效果。
交际是否成功关键在于人对事物之间的联系或关联的认识。人类在认知过程中往往以最大关联为取向,但在实际交际过程中我们只能期待产生一个最佳关联,即听者在理解话语时用最小的认知努力获得足够的语境效果,并以交际为取向。关联理论认为语境是一个在互动过程中为了正确理解话语而存在于人们大脑中的一系列假设,所以关联理论的语境不限于现实环境中的情景或话语本身的语境,交际中的语境不是固定不变的,而是动态的。而最佳的语境效果是由明示——推理模式提供的。明示,即说话人明白无误地表达出自己的意图;推理,即听话人从说话人提供的信息中推断出说话人暗含的意图。其中,听话人的推理是理解话语的核心,而关联则是听话人推理的基础。对话语进行推理就是在话语与语境假设之间寻找一种关联,关联选取得当就会获得足够的语境效果,有了语境效果,就能正确理解话语,使交际获得成功。
有人说,老师是天上最亮的北斗星,为我们指明了前进的方向;有人说,老师是山间最清凉的山泉,用清香的甘露汁浇灌着我们这些小树苗;有人说,老师是茂盛的叶子,用他那强有力的身躯和护着我们这些未来的花骨朵儿。
老师,我崇拜您,我也说不自己为何有这种崇拜之情,看着您在黑板上留下的一行行整齐而漂亮的字迹,我却不能掂量出这中间蕴藏着多少的奥妙和辛勤的汗水,只知道这是您对社会教育事业的无私的奉献。听着您在讲台上所讲的每一个字,那是一种什么样的声音?是大自然清翠的鸟叫声?是古典乐器发出来的和谐的旋律声?不,都不是,那是一种天外之音,蕴含着世间动听的音调,听起来让我们感触深刻,因为那种声音不是普通的声音,而是一种知识的信号声,一听到这种声音,就知道有许多的知识要从远方飞驰而来,走进你智慧大脑的驿站。
老师,您是天上最亮的北斗星,而我却是红尘中迷失方向的黑鸭子,每当我迷失方向时,只要一看见你耀眼的'光芒,就能让我找回回家的路途。还记得在您刚接我的时候,把我从一个充满着天真的孩子变成一个有理想,有作为的小学生时,您为我们付出了多少,我们在享受着自己的成功,享受自己的快乐时,却不能忘掉老师,您是山间最清凉的山泉,您用您的博学多才让我们了解这个广阔无垠的世界,让我们看到这个世界的大,您就像是我们的望远镜,让我们看得更远,看得更清,就像山泉水一样,清晰得能让你看到底层。老师,你教我们要勇于与困难做斗争,不要被困难压倒,我还记得你常说的那句话,不经历风雨,怎么能见彩虹,没有人随随便便成功。是啊,成功与困难是相对存在的,如果没有了困难,成功又何从谈起呢。
老师,您是茂盛的叶子,您用您强有力的身躯和护着我们这些未来的花骨朵儿。您从不为你很委倔,你总是默默的奉献你的一身,为了你的学生,为了你的使命,您甘愿做绿叶也不愿做红花,您想用自己的能力擦亮这世间的曙光,让生生学子们的梦飞得更高,飞得更远。
老师,您用您的一生教我们懂得为何要有追求,为何要有理想,为何要超越自己。老师,您把最美的笑容留给这精彩的世界,您是我们心中最美的神话。
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