A review of the Pursuit of Happiness
“The Pursuit of Happyness” was released on the 15th of December 2006. It is a dramatic story based on a biography of Chris Gardner’s nearly one-year struggle with homelessness. Directed by Gabrielle Muccino, the film stars Will Smith as Chris Gardner, and co-stars Jaden Smith playing Chris’ son, Christopher Jr. For Will Smith’s performance in the film, he was nominated for an Academy Award and a Golden Globe for Best Actor. The ‘different’ spelling of the title, ‘Happyness’ is seen by Chris Gardner on the building outside the play centre is son attends, which Chris reminds the owners of the building multiple times that it is spelt with an ‘I’.
The film shows us the struggles Chris Gardner has with homelessness. He is bankrupt because he invested his life savings in portable bone-density scanners, which he thought hospitals would be interested in buying, but in the end hardly any doctors wanted one, as they considered it an ‘expensive luxury’. During the struggles, his wife Linda leaves to go to New York and Chris and his son are left in San Francisco with no income and living in a motel. Chris sees interest in become a stockbroker, but to become one he has to go through an internship. Meanwhile, Chris and his son are evicted because they can’t pay rent, and they are forced to go to a homeless shelter, and even one night had to sleep in the bathroom of the underground rail system. During his internship, he never once mentions his financial struggles and at one point he is asked to give one of his bosses 5 dollars for a cab, a sum that he can’t afford. After an intense six months, Chris is taken into the bosses’ office, and is offered a job as a stockbroker, the final scene shows him being in unbelief of the position he was offered and showing his happiness and gratefulness for the opportunity, Chris realises that his financial struggles are over as he now has a job with a regular income.
Christ was unfortunate, for he got a wife who was not understandable at all (though she has her own difficulties and was in bad luck with his business. But he was very fortunate also, for he got a son who was very thoughtful and, I think, tough life experiences always make a great person. It is said that this movie is inspired by a true story, and I want to say, this movie does inspire me a lot. What impressed me most are: Christ’s wife left him because of life pressure; Christ’s love to his son and Christ’s strong belief towards life. Through these, I know that it is not easy to be a good husband and a good Papa, since in reality, only love cannot only make everything. And I also learn that one has to strongly believe in himself, no matter how difficult the situation is, but of course, hard-working is indispensable.
Dear Future Husband,
I\'m not yet sure whether you exist, though I\'d like to believe that you do. While it may not make much logical sense, you\'ve been on my mind lately. I haven\'t thought much about what you\'ll look like, how tall you\'ll be, or what type of car you\'ll drive — I\'m not too concerned with the minor details. However, I have been thinking about a few things I want you to know.
I want you to know that I am happy — right now — as a single, 26-year-old \"millennial\" who lives in a small apartment with a roommate and eats Chipotle for dinner more times than I care to admit. I love my job, I love my crazy friends and family, and I love spending quality time alone. I want you to know that my life has purpose apart from and before you. When we do meet one day, I want you to understand that I do not expect you to complete me, or to be my God. That\'s way too much pressure for anyone to bear. I am already complete.
I want you to know that I am not a trophy. Apparently, a lot of guys think this is a compliment. However, I want you to know that I have no desire to be seen as a trophy — a symbol of your own perceived success. I was not raised just to sit and look pretty on anybody\'s shelf. I want to have intellectual conversations. I want to help you chase your dreams. I want to be your partner, not your prize.
Yours truly,
Perfectly Imperfect Me.
Dear teacher,
We\'ll have a class meeting this afternoon. All of us students hope that you can attend it. Please accept our sincere invitation.
In the class meeting, we will make some plans about all the subjects, including English. We do have some puzzles and we need your help. So we hope you can set some time aside to be with us in the class meeting. We will feel honored if you can come to attend our class meeting.
Looking forward to your coming.
Yours
XXX
中文书名有点俗,英文原名比较概括真正的内容——CONTROLLING PEOPLE, How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You。书略显沉闷,但内容却是很到位的,相比较国内很多心理学书,提出一段观点,再用两页案例分析的要实在很多。
首先,控制狂无处不在。无论在全球任何一个地方,控制狂都是泛滥的——这是人的一种天性,为了更有力地掌控身边更多资源,特别是人力资源,最直接的方法就是攻击别人,掠夺自己想要的资源。在以前就是伐兵,争夺别人的土地,金钱和女人;现在则是用言语或者肢体暴力来驯服身边的人。“暴力、冲突是从控制开始的。”
第一部分最有趣的定义就是关于精神边界——人和人之间不仅有身体边界,而且还有精神边界。一旦精神边界受到打击,人就会失控。控制狂发作起来是很不理智且没有意识的,其主要原因就是ta的精神边界非常脆弱,“地雷”很多。别人一不小心就容易踩上并触发ta的怒火。当然,被控制者会很难受——但有些时候,被控制者会根据控制狂的情绪模式来反控制对方,这是其他书籍里面有讨论过的。所以,我们有些时候看到的关系,并不是表面那么简单。
其次,研究控制狂的精神状态——控制者生活得并不快乐。其实这章总结起来就是三个字——安全感。事实上很多看起来很强势的控制狂,精神层面往往非常脆弱。因为ta们最重要的基础就是“我”必须是对的,因此任何事情都要按照自己既定的方向发展(但要么经常背道而驰,要么一帆风顺却突然情况骤变)。
而最害怕的事情就是被控制者有自己的主张,此时控制狂就是非常抓狂——因为ta所塑造的被控制者不再是那个听话的泰迪熊,而随时可以走向任何一个ta不知道的方向,ta无法控制的人。这只是一小部分情况,很多时候,控制狂和被控制者都会精神崩溃并很难走出来——情况会这么糟糕么?是的\',只不过中国人太善于掩饰了。问题再多,我们也习惯掖着,看起来“阖家欢乐”是我们的常态。
第三部分讲控制狂集合一起所造成的恐怖和破坏——这,还有比我们更熟悉的么?消灭个性乃是司空见惯。“在一个共同虚拟的世界里,毫无疑问会充满争斗。”控制狂的世界就是靠谎言堆砌起来的,一点风吹草动就能掀起轩然大波——我是说人们心中的埋怨和愤恨。情况真的这么糟么?是的,什么叫家家有本难念的经?那些争执如果不是长年累月的积累,经怎么会难念?
最后讲摆脱控制——不只是摆脱别人的控制,也是放下自己对自己以及别人的控制。两者都需要莫大的智慧和勇气,因为这就是对自由的追寻——“越清楚自己的为人,越留心日常生活,就越能增强自由的力量——选择的能力。自由依赖清醒的头脑。如果我们头脑迷糊,就不能得到自由。”
所以认真对待生活,去追寻自己的自由,去尊重别人的自由。万事只怕懒——人只要一懒,就会懒得反抗别人对自己精神边界的侵害,不能及时反击而逐渐麻木;人只要一懒就会懒得去站在对方角度去思考去体谅,任由自己的负面去支配自己,攻击别人。而懒惰乃人之天性,所以想要面对和解决冲突,勇气和智慧缺一不可。
上策以交,中策伐谋,下策伐兵。这句古话也算是概括得很精妙了,现在人和人之间真诚的交往少,互取所需已经算是比较文明的了,而最多的莫过于尔虞我诈——事实上,解除控制,释放自由需要的是信任,恰恰是我们周边最缺乏最宝贵的资源。当然也不用太悲观,做人就是那么难,我们不是早就知道么?
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