初稿
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money -it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
自评
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:23
互评(刘兴顺评)
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:23
互评(战越评)
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:
互评(李春霞评)
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:
常见的说明方法有举事例、分类别、列数据、作比较、画图表、下定义、作诠释、打比方、摹状貌、引资料等10种。
(1)举例子。举出实际事例来说明事物,使所要说明的事物具体化,以便读者理解,这种说明方法叫举例法。
(2)分类别。将被说明的对象,按照一定的标准划分成不同的类别,一类一类地加以说明,这种说明方法,叫分类别。分类别是将复杂的事物说清楚的重要方法。
(3)列数据。为了使所要说明的事物具体化,还可以采用列数据的方法,以便读者理解。需要注意的是,引用的数字,一定要准确无误,不准确的数字绝对不能用,即使是估计的数字,也要有可靠的根据,并力求近似。
(4)作比较。说明某些抽象的或者是人们比较陌生的事物,可以用具体的或者大家已经熟悉的事物和它比较,使读者通过比较得到具体而鲜明的印象。事物的特征也往往在比较中显现出来。
(5)画图表。为了把复杂的事物说清楚,还可以采用图表法,来弥补单用文字表达的缺欠,对有些事物解说更直接、更具体。
(6)下定义。用简明的语言对某一概念的本质特征作规定性的.说明叫下定义。下定义能准确揭示事物的本质,是科技说明文常用的方法。
(7)作诠释。从一个侧面,就事物的某一个特点做些解释,这种方法叫诠释法。定义法和诠释法常采用“某某是什么”的语言形式。形式相同,如何区分呢?一般来说,“是”字两边的话能够互换,就是定义;如果不能互换,就是诠释。
(8)打比方。利用两种不同事物之间的相似之处作比较,以突出事物的性状特点,增强说明的形象性和生动性的说明方法叫做打比方。
(9)摹状貌。为了使被说明对象更形象、具体,可以进行状貌摹写,这种说明方法叫摹状貌。(10)引资料。为了使说明的内容更充实具体,可以引资料说明。引资料的范围很广,可以是经典著作,名家名言,公式定律,典故谚语等。
其实在生活中还可以找到很多这样的例子。我就从自己的生活中为大家找出几个公式。“7-1=0”,看到这个公式,大家一定会说,“7-1”怎么会等于0呢?应该等于6才对,下面我就联系自己生活实际为大家说一说“7-1=0”的真正含义。我们组一共有7个人,有一次,学校组织检查各个班卫生情况。老师特别嘱咐我们要好好打扫卫生,为班级争光,我们七个人个个胸有成竹。放学后,我们留下来打扫卫生。扫到一半,垃圾桶满了,组长就叫高峰去倒垃圾。高峰去倒垃圾,我们就在教室打扫卫生,本来我们扫好了,高峰也应该到了。可我们左等右等也没等来高峰,最后我们只好把垃圾扫到墙角。不一会儿,学校派老师检查了,一看我们班垃圾还在墙角,看也不看,写了一个差字。我们气急败坏的去找高峰,一到垃圾池那儿去看,高峰不在,只有一个垃圾桶孤零零的在那。我们只有先回家了。第二天一到校,我们去找高峰质问他昨天为什么没有回来。高峰懊悔地说:“昨天,我刚把垃圾倒完,只见小店有许多好吃的,便去买,一回来,连垃圾筒也找不到了。”我们纷纷数落高峰,差一点把他说哭了。做完广播体操,广播里公布了昨天的检查情况,我们班最差。回到班级,同学们怪我们为班级抹了黑。你说高峰一个人贪吃,让我们的劳动成果付之东流,这难道不是“7-1=0”吗?
从这件事中,使我明白了我们都是集体中的一员,每一个人都应该尽自己的.努力为集体做事,都应该互相帮助,互相谅解,才能使这个集体日益强大起来。就像我,如果当时帮高峰倒垃圾,结果也就不会是现在这个样子。所以,我们以后无论干什么事都要互相帮助,不至于让我们这个集体的成果为“0”。
好啦,同学们,其实藏在生活中的公式有很多,只需要用你敏锐的双眼去把它们找出来,你说我说的对吗?
老师把芊芊拉到了办公室。窗外,风雨交加,电闪雷鸣,雨点啪啪地砸在玻璃窗上向下流,像是一条条泪痕。雷声“轰隆隆” 地咆啸,似乎在厉声斥责着芊芊的不对,办公桌像一个黑色的恶魔,正张牙舞爪地看着芊芊,一沓沓白色的作业本像一张张宣判书,判下了芊芊的不对,盆栽无力地耸拉着脑袋,像是在告诉芊芊不应该这样,饮水机“咕咕” 地响着,像是一个爱管闭事的人正在讥笑着芊芊。突然,老师“啪”地拍了下桌子,“越来越不错了,学会作弊了!”老师生气地大声训斥着芊芊。芊芊吓得心惊胆颤,双脚不停地颤抖着,心如死灰般沉寂,心中满是委屈。“老师,我……”芊芊小声地说“难道还要狡辨,都被我亲眼看见了。”
老师和芊芊对峙着。这时,教导主任闻讯赶来。老师见了,生气地把来龙去脉说了一遍,教导主任听了,一下子火冒三丈,气不打一处来,拍了拍桌子严肃地说:“这属于作弊!芊芊同学,你太令老师失望了,无论什么理由都说不过去!”说着便在试卷上写了一个大大的“0” ,把试卷一甩,气呯呼地走了。芊芊的心碎了,脸上全是泪水和伤心,这个0分仿佛晴天霹雳,把芊芊的心辟碎了。她终于忍不住了,眼晴被泪水湿润了……
芊芊无力地走在走栏上,泪水如小溪般涌出。她走回了教室,大家兴灾乐祸地看着她。芊芊无力地趴在课桌上,泪水把试卷上的公式浸得没有印痕了,但“罪过” 没有被抹去……
教师点评:文章过渡自然,衔接恰当,情节设置合理,想象力丰富,抓住教室里同学们的语言来渲染教室里的紧张气氛,标题新颖,全文围绕着这个“可怕的公式”来展开,使故事回环完整,留有余味。
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