本文格式正确,意思表述完整,行文流畅自然。作者在写作过程中注意长短句并用,还使用了以‘which,’引导的非限定性定语从句,从而使文章层次分明,富于变化,不愧为考场佳作。
I’m very happy to receive your letter, and I’m glad to hear that you will go to China to learn Chinese here. I have already found a fiat for you. It is on Fangcao Street, which is not far from Jianxin Chinese School. Bus No.11 can take you there, and it is one stop before the Chinese School. The flat is on the third floor with 3 rooms, one of which is bedroom, the other two are bathroom and kitchen. There are a bed, a sofa, a desk and some chairs in this 25 square-metres small fiat, and the rent is 500 yuan per month. Maybe this fiat is not as good as your wish, but I’ll try my best to meet your needs. If it is not suitable enough, write to me and I will look for another better place.
Hope you will come here soon!
All the best!
Yours,
Li Hua
乌龟和兔子第一次赛跑轰动了整个森林,连威风凛凛的森林大王――狮子都知道了。
狮子大王不相信他心爱的忠臣兔子竟然输给了平时动作又慢又拖的小乌龟。他怀疑那一次比赛乌龟作弊了,要求森林里的所有动物一起去看乌龟和兔子再次比赛。狮子大王提前三天通知兔子和乌龟,让他们这三天多准备准备。
兔子接到了通知,高兴得不得了,连声谢谢狮子大王,狮子大王说:“兔子,我这么器重你,你要多多准备,可不要让我失望啊!”兔子连声答道:“一定,一定。”乌龟接到了通知也特别高兴,他心想:上一次这一次比赛,狮子大王都来了,如果我赢了,我在森林里的地位就再上一层楼了。
三天一眨眼就过去了,动物们都来到赛场,狮子大王也来了。开始比赛了,兔子和以前一样一蹦一跳,跳在最前面,但乌龟和以前不一样,他几乎和兔子一样的速度,兔子还以为乌龟被他甩在后面,便停下来等他,兔子一直等,怎么也看不到。他往前方一望,乌龟早已到了终点,结果还是一样,乌龟赢了。
兔子犯了和以前一样的错误,所以输了。
俗话说:“谦虚使人进步,骄傲使人落后。”我们一定不要像兔子那样骄傲。
老师点评:很好地想象和人物的心理,叙写传神逼真,很好!
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