有一次我遇到一个强势的妈妈,我问他女儿:“小朋友,你叫什么名字?“她女儿三岁的样子,看看我,看看妈妈,想说话但是有点害羞。这时候,她妈妈就抢话了:他叫某某某。然后就转过头来对孩子说:“叔叔问你话呢,你怎么不回答啊?”我怕妈妈吓着小孩,就又轻轻问了一句:你喜欢吃巧克力吗?小女孩这次又是看看我,再看着妈妈,还是没有开口,她妈妈又抢着说:可喜欢吃巧克力,在家里每天至少吃一块!然后跟我道歉说:哎呀,真是不好意思,这孩子太害羞了!
我赶紧把这位妈妈拉到一边,悄悄跟他说:你得让宝宝自己说话,给他点时间。刚才您一个人把两个人的戏份都抢了,他当然没机会说话了。而且,这次谈话交流的经历,可能变成他的一个负面经历,将来他会更害怕和陌生人交流。这个妈妈的行为就是过度干预的例子。
对付发脾气的小孩有三个要点:
一是表示,理解,帮她描述情绪;
二是和他一起分析发怒的原因;
三是引导他反思整个过程,指出发怒并不能解决问题,沟通才能解决问题,并引导他体会他人感受。
我们知道,婴儿有所谓的陌生人焦虑,一般到八九个月大的时候,被陌生人抱会哭。这是因为孩子的大脑发育到了一定程度,他的记忆系统成熟了。当然,每个孩子出现这种情况的时间稍有差别。这种突然害怕陌生人的表现和他们大脑中的记忆系统的成熟有关,表明孩子已经有能力记住熟悉和陌生人的差别。但很多孩子到了两岁以后,还会再经历陌生人焦虑,一直到四岁左右,这种焦虑才逐渐消失。你会发现两岁以前还开朗活泼的宝宝,突然又开始怕生了。其实,你不用担心,这是他心理发展的正常过程。
我非常的害羞的孩子从后台推到前台,强迫孩子,在别人面前表演不害羞。这是很有害的,是典型的拔苗助长。
January 15th,Sunny
As the winter vacation is drawing near, I have a plan about my vacation. I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to study harder in order to get good grades in the following term. After finishing all my homework, I'm going to enjoy myself in the sea of knowledge. Reading must be a good idea. I'm going to keep fit at the same time. I'll get up eary in the morning everyday and play sports. I really love sports. Besides that, Eating a balanced diet is also good for my health. I'm going to help my mom and dad with the housework as well in the vacation.I'll learn to cook. As for travelling, I'm planning to go to Hainan. But whether going there or not will be decided on the weather.During the vacation,I'm going to learn more about history,as I'm really poor on it.
So you see, I'll have a terrific vacation!
the summer vacation had come round again. i was happy that i could forget about school at least for a while. lest i fool around all through this summer vacation, i made a plan as to how to spend it. first, i thought i should go over all those things my teachers taught in the previous term so that i could have a better understanding of them.
then i thought i should take up some forms of exercise, such as walking, running and rowing, to keep me physically strong. it stood to reason that with such a good plan i should make the best of my vacation time. i did, because i lived up to what i had planned.
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