导入:
第1段:Some people hold the opinion that A is superior to B in many ways. Others, however, argue that B is much better. Personally, I would prefer A because I think A has more advantages.
正文:
第2段:There are many reasons why I prefer A. The main reason is that ... Another reason is that...(赞同A的原因
第3段: Of course, B also has advantages to some extent... (列出1~2个B的优势
结论:
第4段: But if all these factors are considered, A is much better than B. From what has been discussed above, we may finally draw the conclusion that ...(得出结论 オ
1。 头绪分明,脉络清楚
写好记叙文,首先要头绪分明,脉络清楚,明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析,弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程,然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”,但动笔之前,围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。
2。 突出中心,详略得当
在文章的框架确定后,对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍,应该从表现文章主题的需要出发,分清主次,定好详略。要突出重点,详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节,略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化,使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题,也需要一定的技巧。如:
One night a man came to our house and told me, "There is a family with eight children。 They have not eaten for days。" I took some food with me and went。
When I finally came to that family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured (破坏外貌) by hunger。 There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger。
I gave the rice to the mother。 She divided the rice in two, and went out, carrying half the rice。 When she came back, I asked her, "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer, "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"
3。 用活语言,准确生动
记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动,又要表现力强,这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动,其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。
原文:
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away。 He was soon lost among people and traffic。 He could not find the way back home and started crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying。 They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened。 Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived。 The two students decided to take him home。 Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound。 She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money, but they didn't take it。 She served them with tea but they left。
修改后:
The other day, five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street。 After some time, he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home。 But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic。 When he could not find the way home, he started and crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop。 They immediately went up to him。
"Little boy, why are you standing here crying?" they asked。
"I want Mom, I go home。" said the boy, still crying。
"Don't worry, we'll send you home。"
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy's house。 With the help of a policeman, they finally found it。
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound, she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house。 Gratefully, she offered them some money, saying it was a way to express her thanks, but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea。
作文题《凡人小事的背后》也被网友和老师点评为“不易跑题,但难出彩”。
既有“长沙味”也重传统文化
“青年志愿者在橘子洲参加绿色骑行活动”、“长沙磁浮快线的建设者们克服重重困难终于按时完成建设任务”……今年语文卷的第一个“积累与运用”版块,考查了不少具有长沙地域特色的内容,学生审题时也觉得格外亲切和好读。与此同时,一些传统文化知识也频频出现在试卷中。比如:“小玲的生肖属相是蛇,弟弟比她小两岁,小玲要挑选一套生肖属相玩具送给弟弟做礼物”、“农历二月有哪些节气”……
作文题引导学生的核心素养培养
长沙市湘一芙蓉中学初三语文组组长王琼湘认为,今年的长沙中考作文题《凡人小事的背后》出得非常好。“回顾近年来的长沙中考作文题,很容易发现:长沙中考作文题十分注重培养学生的核心素养。2015年的《书,我的良师益友》强调读书对人的影响。在去年的基础上,今年作文题进一步引导学生关注生活。引导学生学会叙真事、吐真言、抒真情,让学生易于动笔,乐于表达,展现真实的自我。学生通过对生活中的小事进行感悟、反思,获得成长。”王琼湘老师表示,《凡人小事的背后》这个题目给人以亲切朴实之感。
青竹湖湘一外国语学校初三语文组组长陈华老师也认为,本次试卷注重了对考生学生情感、态度与价值观的发展状况的考查。大作文《凡人小事的背后》就是引导考生关注身边的平凡人和平常事。这个作文题,让考生不觉得难,有话可写;但又能拉开差距,如果要想得高分,就必须对凡人小事,深入观察,仔细领悟,发掘出背后的动人情感和深刻内涵。另外,综合探究《一颗钉子惹的祸》、记叙文阅读“谈谈你读完此文后的感悟”等题目也都体现出了对考生综合素养的考查。
湖南师大附中博才实验中学语文教研组组长陈艳也认为,整套试卷不少素材内容直指“核心素养”,比如议论文阅读《担当是引领人生的旗帜》明确提到 “担当精神,是我们核心素养中的一个重要部分”;记叙文阅读《童真》凸显“童真与善良”,呼吁彼此多份信任;文言文阅读引导学习人物精神品质;综合运用 “只有勤奋,青春才会足够美丽”、介绍“青春偶像”等都指向“培养‘健全发展的人’”的引导意识。题型设计上也有意考查学生的探究思维和辩证思维,如记叙文最后一题要考生就某个问题谈自己的看法等。
作文题为语文教学指引方向
“今年作文题体现语文教学育人的功能,为今后的初中语文教学指明了方向。语文课应在语文基本能力培养的过程中,引导学生关注身边的生活,注重学生情感、态度、价值观以及道德修养、审美情趣的提升,使学生良好的个性和健全的人格得到培养。”王琼湘认为,“凡人小事”一词不设审题障碍,学生无论语文水平高低,都有话可写。题目鼓励学生写“真我”生活,抒“真我”情感,引导学生关注周围环境,主要是学校生活(反映师生、同学、学习等、家庭生活(反映亲情、矛盾等、社会生活(反映对社会的初步认识、理想、愿望等。值得注意的是,“背后”一词,体现了命题者的用心,值得学生去挖掘。这个词正是题眼,它考查学生能否通过生活细节体现人物鲜明的个性和内在的精神,在平凡之中写出不平凡。这应该是考查学生作文水平高低的一项重要标准。如果在作文中能体现如何认识他人,认识自我,彰显理解、信任、尊重等主题,将能体现学生的更高的认识水平和对社会生活人生的深刻感悟。
陈华老师认为,大作文《凡人小事的背后》,这是个很接“地气”、能唤起写作***的作文题。“凡人小事”引导考生关注身边的`人与事,“背后”引导考生体悟思考,挖掘人与事后的情与理,写出自己真实的感悟。如果考生认真审读提示语,就会发现这个作文题可以指向真情、成长、品质等母题,所以几乎都能动笔写;但这个题目又有区分度,能拉开差距,要得高分估计要立意深远、感悟深刻才行,估计本次中考会有不少优秀作文出现。
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