I was born in a beautiful town with high mountains around it.The mountains are covered with all kinds of green bamboo.Through the town runs a small stream.It’s said that a new railway is going to be built to the east of the town and a bamboo factory to the west.All the children of the school age can go to school.If anyone is ill,he can go to see the doctor in the newly-built hospital.People in the town are hard-working and never take the backwardness lying down.Though they are having a richer and better life,they are not satisfied with what they have got.They are working hard to build their town into a modern one.
1。 头绪分明,脉络清楚
写好记叙文,首先要头绪分明,脉络清楚,明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析,弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程,然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”,但动笔之前,围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。
2。 突出中心,详略得当
在文章的框架确定后,对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍,应该从表现文章主题的需要出发,分清主次,定好详略。要突出重点,详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节,略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化,使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题,也需要一定的技巧。如:
One night a man came to our house and told me, "There is a family with eight children。 They have not eaten for days。" I took some food with me and went。
When I finally came to that family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured (破坏外貌) by hunger。 There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger。
I gave the rice to the mother。 She divided the rice in two, and went out, carrying half the rice。 When she came back, I asked her, "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer, "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"
3。 用活语言,准确生动
记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动,又要表现力强,这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动,其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。
原文:
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away。 He was soon lost among people and traffic。 He could not find the way back home and started crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying。 They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened。 Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived。 The two students decided to take him home。 Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound。 She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money, but they didn't take it。 She served them with tea but they left。
修改后:
The other day, five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street。 After some time, he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home。 But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic。 When he could not find the way home, he started and crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop。 They immediately went up to him。
"Little boy, why are you standing here crying?" they asked。
"I want Mom, I go home。" said the boy, still crying。
"Don't worry, we'll send you home。"
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy's house。 With the help of a policeman, they finally found it。
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound, she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house。 Gratefully, she offered them some money, saying it was a way to express her thanks, but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea。
我们告别了响沙弯沙漠,出发到大草原。一路上我都在想象古诗里所描写的景象:天苍苍,野茫茫,风吹草低见牛羊。到了草原,却令我失望,那里的草只有巴掌一样高,有些地方还裸露着土地。听导游小姐说,东北的草原才像古诗里描写的一样,我们所在地为内蒙古西部,由于缺水,所以草长得不是很高。
我们一下车,就看见热情好客的内蒙古人,端着酒杯,唱着民歌列队迎接我们的到来。映入眼帘的是一排排整齐的蒙古包,我们当晚就住在蒙古包里。
接下来大家组织了骑马活动。我来草原最大的愿望就是能骑着骏马,在草原上奔跑。开始的时候,马儿慢腾腾地走着,一点都不过瘾,来到了牧民家,我们品尝了他们自制的奶茶,我还换上了一套民族服装,拍了很多漂亮的照片呢!回来的时候,我勇敢多了,后面的马倌一声“驾”,我的马立刻奔跑起来,我抓紧缰绳,一边跑,还一边学着马倌的样子“驾驾”地叫着,大家都朝我竖起大拇指,我真正感受到了骑马的感觉。夜幕已经降临,我们回到了蒙古包,吃好晚饭,还观看了篝火晚会。
让我记忆犹新的是草原观日出。清晨,我四点就起来了,草原上笼罩着一层薄雾,天刚刚亮的时候,东边天空一片红色,慢慢的,空中出现了一片红色的彩霞,像搭起了一座彩桥。过了一会儿,羞答答的太阳露出了半个脸,很快,调皮地跳出了地平线,我还拍了一张手托太阳的照片,像托着一颗璀璨的明珠。草原日出的景象真的好美啊!
第二天,我恋恋不舍地离开了,望着那一望无际的草原,我在心里默默地说:美丽的草原啊,你让我如痴如醉,流连忘返。
她是一位语文老师,是我的恩师。
仍记得她的第一课,不是单纯的认识同学,不是直接开始授课,而是“刁难”了我们这些心比天高的孩子。她在黑板上写下了几个甲骨文一样的文字,让我们认。刚才我们还对她说我们不识字感到愤愤不平,这时都安静了下来。她逐一将字拆分解读,还讲了汉字的演变历程和中国文化的博大精深。时隔近三年,她的第一课仍使我记忆犹新。初相识,她便教会我学无止境,让我们心服口服。
他是敬业爱生的老师。她伴我们走过初三那年,她几乎将所有精力都投放在我们身上。特别临近中考,她的眼睛都被黑眼圈包裹着,但她上课仍不失活力。午休时,她在办公室为几个同学讲解答题要领和美文佳句。看着她疲惫的双眼,我不禁心头酸楚,暗中卯足了劲,努力学习,不辜负她的期望。那时的我觉得,她疲惫的双眸是最美丽的,她为我们而辛劳。
她的教诲可使我受益一生。初三的我心气极高而却屡屡失败,不免心生怨恨。一次次的失意,一次次的打击,终使我不知所措。她便来找我谈心。“你努力学了吗?”我点头。“课后认真复习整理了么?” 我还是点头。说到这,我不禁眼眶一红,为什么我比别人付出更多,却收获如此细微!她摸摸我的头让我平静,然后说道:“你这是到了学习瓶颈处。就像那花瓶,瓶颈处细窄难行,而一旦你走过那瓶颈,岂不是天空任你驰骋?”她的话语重又点燃了我学习的热情。“xx,你还像现在一样认真勤奋,但要适当地为自己减轻压力,老师相信你一定能成功!”她的眼中流露出笃定的神色,她对我的信任和鼓舞一直伴我走完初中。
如今,每当我泄气之时,便会想到她的教诲,当我懒散之时,便想到她辛劳的背影。偶尔去她的博客看看她的文章,清新的文风、详实的内容、真挚的情感,读来让人心情愉悦。从文章中得知,她现在所带的是普通班,课堂纪律不佳。但她仍像对待我们一样对待现在的每个学生,不放弃任何一个人,热心地给他们送去鼓励,耐心地给他们送去知识……
就是这样一位老师,敬业,爱生,用小事来传授人生道理,用心对待每个学生。她就是我的恩师XX,师恩难忘,难忘我的恩师!
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