此类例子往往缺乏客观性和说服力,由于第一人称的局限导致所叙述事件难免“鸡毛蒜皮”。要明白,个人不代表整体。
例:I keep my dog to avoid my loneliness and I find a lot of fun.
这样的例子让人犹如在看记叙文,和议论文很不搭调。
Most female consumers shop unwisely.
一天,妈妈陪着我出去玩,我看到有人在卖小螃蟹,就让妈妈给我买了一只。
回到家,我把小螃蟹放在脸盆里,又放了些水。妈妈说:“螃蟹喜欢生活在泥里。”听了妈妈的话,我出门挖了些泥放在脸盆里,又特意买了几条小鱼儿跟它做伴,小螃蟹在它的家里快乐地爬来爬去。
它的样子十分可爱,身披盔甲,两只大钳子像剪刀一样,八条腿横着爬,还有两个米粒大小的眼睛。我用小棍子逗它,它就用有力的钳子把棍子夹住往嘴里送,当它发现不是吃的'东西时,就扔掉了棍子。我又拿出面条插在泥巴里,它便伸出它那有力的钳子夹住面条,塞进了它的大嘴巴……
我的小螃蟹是多么可爱呀!它陪伴着我度过了一个又一个开心而快乐的日子。可惜天渐渐冷了,小螃蟹越来越不爱动了。妈妈说:“小螃蟹是要冬眠的,你把它放了吧!”我虽然有些舍不得,但是为了这只小生命的未来,我还是依依不舍地把它放回了家门前的一个泥沟里。我祝愿小螃蟹生活愉快,并希望明年有一天能再见到它
不能过于空洞,也不能脱离现时,否则就失去了举例的意义。
Most female consumers shop unwisely and spend too much money.
这里的shop and spend就是复合谓语结构,但是到目前为止,这仍旧是一个简单句,我们继续丰富它。
虽然来源于身边社会,但不可让描述方式变的太鸡毛蒜皮,拿不上台面。其实这点非常容易办到,只需要把事件中某一个具体的你,我,他,变成是客观群体,比如说people across the globe, students, they之类的人称即可。
举例的常见表达方式:
for example,/for instance,(后加句子)
Such as/ like (后加词组)
Take... as an example,
A case in point is that......
其次,在举例时还应注意尺度。
1. 应避免使用第一人称和第二人称,为了加强客观性,应将人称写成第三人称。
改正:Those people who raise pets, such as dogs and cats, are more likely to gain happiness and relieve their loneliness.(那些养宠物,例如养猫和养狗的人往往更容易获得快乐并且缓解孤独感)
2. 应避免引用一项调查研究,并同时伴有过多数据。应将数据去掉,用含糊的方法表示。
改正:There is much evidence to show that the number of people smoking has increased at an alarming rate in China. (大量证据表明。。。)
3. 应避免将例子局限在一个国家,尤其是中国。应将范围放至全世界。
改正:Many children around the world like to sit in front of the screen for a long time, leading to their poor eyesight.(在全世界,许多孩子在屏幕前待太久,导致了他们的视力减弱。
“全世界”的表达方式:around the world, all over the world, across the globe
【写作真题】The advocates of international aid believe that countries have a moral obligation to help each other, while the opponents consider it necessary, because money is misspent by the governments that receive it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
【名师献计】This aid is essential to the homeless and useful in helping recipient countries return to their normal state after major disturbances. For example, with the humanitarian relief obtained worldwide on an annual basis, victims of natural disasters (such as tsunami, drought, flood throughout the world can recover rapidly and rebuild their homeland.
在这个句子中,我们先选择advertisements,influences, people这三个词汇,然后开始准备扩句。
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