如果说溺爱是地狱的罗刹,它会把你拖进生命的深渊,那么自强自立则是把你救回来的菩萨。
当今社会,很多家庭都是独生子女。因此,孩子便成了每个家庭中的“宝中宝,王中王”!一切都顺从孩子的意愿,每天都是衣来伸手,饭来张口。孩子想干啥就干啥,想花钱父母就供不应求。
父母的爱虽然是伟大的,但是这种爱让我们做孩子的每天都无忧无虑的快乐生活着,时间一长就会有很大的依赖性!它就像毒品,虽然在食用时能体会到短暂的快乐,但是食用一次就会依赖一次,时间久了,就无法自拔了,最后一步一步的在悄无声息之中把未来的希望带入地狱的深渊。
我曾听老师讲过这样一个故事:“有一群猴子在动物园供游客们观赏,由于游客每天乱投食物,再加上管理员每天按时喂养,时间久了,猴子们便有了依赖性。每天都会在同一个地点,同一个时间等着有人来给它们送食物。久而久之,它们已经完全丧失了捕食的能力,成了名符其实的懒猴、笨猴!”
听完了老师的故事,我陷入了深思之中。为什么有些家长明知道溺爱孩子不好,却仍然溺爱着?难道他们想把自己的孩子培养成废物吗?这究竟是为了什么呢?这个的问题真的让我百思不得其解?
我曾在一本书上看到这样一个故事:有个马戏团,他们需要一只猴子来做表演。于是他们费尽心思抓到一只漂亮聪明的猴子。可是,这只猴子偏偏不听主人的指挥和命令,总是和主人作对。主人想教训这只猴子又舍不得,恐怕打坏了了猴子光滑的外表。每天都好吃好喝的饲养着它。并且给它取了个代号叫“一号”。为了不伤害“一号”,让它还能学会听从主人的命令,于是主人便又买了一只猴子,取名“二号”。从外表上看,”二号”比“一号”逊色多了,一点都不吸引人。为了让“一号”更出色,主人每天都鞭打“二号”以此来鞭策“一号”。久而久之,“一号”不但不怕主人了,还拍手叫好!而“二号”为了不让自己挨打,每天都努力的训练着,并且一天比一天出色,为主人争取了荣耀!后来“二号”还成功的阻止了“一号”引起的舞台闹剧。主人被感动了,把“一号”紧紧的锁在了笼子里,觉得它太不成材了,而“二号”却成了舞台的主角,成了主人的光荣!
读了这个故事,我不禁钦佩这只自强自立的“二号”丑猴,同时也为那只光滑外表的“一号”美猴感到悲哀!这就是溺爱和自强自立的鲜明对比啊!我们生活在一个竞争的时代,我们要靠自己的努力奋斗为未来美好的生活去打拼,我们不想做溺爱中的懒猴、笨猴!
亲爱的父母们,你们的爱虽然是无私不求回报的,可是我们不需要溺爱,这样的爱最终会害了我们这一代。所以,请你们收起这份错爱,多增加对孩子生活的磨练与独立精神的培养,只有这样,我们才会成为将来最值得骄傲的新一代!
Dear Mom and Dad,
Although we can only keep in touch with each other by the telephone or the Internet, I wish I could let you know how much I love you and how much I’ve appreciated the things you’ve done for me. It is never too much to say thank you to you, my dear parents.
First and the most important is that thank you for bringing me to this world. During the 20 years, you have done a lot for me, but I haven’t realized how much I love you until I left home to the university. I understand how much effort you have cost to bring me up. Now, I have grown up, I can look after you.
Second, I want to thank you that you give me a good environment to grow up. There is an old saying “Parents are the first teacher to their children”. In my life, you are the typical ones. Because of your good examples I formed the good habit of learning at an early age which benefits my life.
At last, I want to say “thank you” is that you always support my choice. You never forced me to do anything I was not interested in. You told me to pursuit my own dreams without hesitation and you would support me forever. You also told me to how to be a human. Now I become an optimistic and cheerful girl and I feel happy every day.
I really miss you when I am writing this thank you letter. I can’t wait to go home to share more time together with you.You are my most important people in the world and I will love you forever.
Yours,
XXX
Dear mom and dad:
You are good!
This is the first time I write to you, I want to write down the words of my heart.
You I had many of the night was up all night, you how many tears flow to me. I paid you for how much, I return you from, I also know, you must not think I return you anything, but I'll never forget you in mind, the old I will return to the best of your ability, when I grew up in the sun, but you will gradually ageing, worry about and sad that wrinkles climbed up you originally carefree face.
Mom and dad, in your care, I have spent a full of joy for ten years. You have been the best things to me. I have a beautiful bedroom, delicate study materials, the conditions of the outstanding school... I like the little princess "in fairy tale, as well as the growth of carefree. Mom and dad, I want to say to you, you is very kind to me.
For ten years, and you carefully nurtured me, so that I grow up happily day by day. And your own but don't know how much I flow for the sweat and the tears. Mom and dad, I'll never let you down, is you to me put a pair of wings, I'll use that for the most powerful wings and fly, to the vast ocean of knowledge.
For the father loves the mountains, big love speechless. Dad you in my memory is always strict.
I and you seem to be very few joked about. Occasionally you talking and laughing, but with total to feel very at odds after. You are always a mountain that composed speechless. But anyway, I know you did all that is good for me.
When I came to this strange world by accident, the heart also carries a afraid, with wen run is you with love I meet, your love is I came to this world have received the first gift. How many covered the morning mist, you surprise and incredibly staring at me that WenXiang such as roses of little face, in my mind I meditate on to the my blessings. Early morning sunshine through the window, hazy gently in your face evenly spread on a layer of holy golden.
Love is like the silent running water, exquisite moistens at every point. Blustery, sun rises fall, winter passed on, flowers blossom, thanks in your words, I know the world, start gradually thinking. You not only living I to raise me, but also teach me the person, the given me knowledge and tao is "who grass-inch heart, reported in the apartments". Daughter with a mind always touched, but only in small to care and considerate, academic work harder in return. Just as weak grass can only add three points for spring green, and repay the natural nourishing; Autumn leaves only to be born for mud, to repay the tree of raising.
I usually very like reading, you never against, but to buy me a lot of books. By now I can put full of books have a bookcase. You again afraid I read many of the eye sight, and broke in bed to buy a lamp that beautiful the lamp that shield an eye.
Mom, remember the paint of time? Can't stand practice to paint of bitter, you also can really hit me, forced me to go on. Have a period of time, the time to practice painting overload I almost collapse, drab repeatedly that I find very boring. Many times, I almost want to go to all the paper I ripped, but then I was able to hold back. Want to come now, drawing not only gave me to understanding of the love, and paint with the fingers of flexible and the development of the brain, the more developed my perseverance will and persistence. Mother, daughter really grateful to you!
Dad, perhaps you rarely like mother like that teach me what, but you can really affect me a lot. You never is so honest, kind, brave, strong, dedication, and can endure hardships and profound knowledge, you use your good quality affects me, always doing my model. Each time talking with you always make me benefit, always make me understand some of the life philosophy, always important to make my in confused when suddenly enlightened. Dad, daughter really grateful to you!
Mom and dad, you are in their industry elite, and daughter from urinate will you as a proud. You are all so devotion and perseverance, in their children's education is also a method. Mother, it is you that give me the most important a habit: a love of reading. Reading is to my self education is the best way I know to widely browse, many all aspects of the knowledge, people doing things will also be more mature. Mom and dad, daughter really appreciate you!!!!!
Love is the most beautiful in the world language, let us each other love each other forever to pass by stormy night, watch for the arrival of the most beautiful day.
Your daughter
可能由于生活在农村吧,小时候父母的关爱也还算平常,所以以前每次阅读有关独生子女娇生惯养,父母过分溺爱之类的批判文章,也总觉得那离我太远,而且竟也觉得没什么。
后来读高中了,寄宿在离学校不远的一处人家,那家人还算敦厚热情,其中有个约六、七岁的小女儿,全家人几乎视其为掌中宝,然而其中的苦楚也是道不尽的,至少从旁观者的角度来说,我是这么认为的。
记得我六七岁的时候,怎么说也能帮父母扫扫地,洗洗碗,偶尔还喂喂猪。而我们这个小公主呢?连盛饭这类小事也得奶奶担着,甚至还要让奶奶给一口一口地喂。有时奶奶一点不顺她的意,她便大吵大闹,而且还污言秽语,可那老人家呢?什么都依着她,偶尔的打骂也是不疼不痒。
如果不是亲眼所见,我决不会相信现实中还有如此滑稽的一幕。全家人都围着小公主转,要吃面包,爷爷便表现出身先士卒的大气,我去买,说着便冲出去,那身子骨还真一点也不服老!要吃苹果,奶奶立马给拨,后来又改要吃炒饭,母亲二话没说,便奔向厨房。等等这一切,我都看在眼里,笑在心里。
但是这一幕幕情景不得不让我深思,咀嚼。小小年纪便污言秽语,而且对象还是疼爱自己的奶奶,实在令人愤怒!然而退一步想,小公主如此另类的言行难道是凭空而来的吗!家长在这方面还是有不可推卸的责任。小公主的未来实在令人担忧,我不知道家长的溺爱最终将把她引向一条什么样的路。当然,毕竟人事无常,世事难料,我对小公主的未来也不敢妄加任何悲观的批判。但是家长的溺爱给孩子造成的不良影响确确实实是不容忽视的。现如今,随着计划生育的推广,独生子女也越来越多,家长过分的溺爱也几乎成了中国家庭的一种通病;其显现出来的一系列的问题也越来越为社会所关注。
我毕竟还是个学生,所以对很多家长的心态表示不解,难道处处依着孩子,顺着孩子,实行一切包办制就是所谓的关爱吗?我不知道有多少家长真正静下心来思考过这个问题。现代的孩子心理承受能力普遍偏低已是一个众所周知的事实。究其缘由,除了如今物质生活提高了,孩子苦难的际遇也少了外,很大程度上还是来自于父母的过分溺爱。试问,成天浸泡在蜜糖里,像躲在窝里的小鸟,经受不到半点风雨的洗礼,又怎么能练硬自己的翅膀,去迎接更大的挑战呢?
望子成龙,望女成凤的心并不意味着一味地给予,一味地放纵。我觉得作为父母都应该有一点的自省,与其庸俗于溺爱自己的孩子,倒不如想想如何为孩子创造一丝锻炼自我的机会。
Dear parents:
You are good! Thank you for you when I was growing up, to my care and meticulous care, what I have to ask you can satisfy me. Its always hot in summer, I kick a quilt, every time you gently help me cover the quilt, winter will give me a cup of hot milk before you go to sleep at night.
But your weight to all have no standing in my point of view, only think about how I. Now I have grown up, is not a two year old the child, I want your decision and judgment. Please dont pressure me again, had a lot of pressure on learning, you can put the gas pressure can reduce the?
Although you do not perfect, but what are the parents in the world perfect? Youll always be my favorite people. Is you give me life, let me come to this beautiful world and everywhere is full of love. I must study hard, to repay you.
一个孩子,不忍看到蝴蝶在蛹中痛苦挣扎,便剪开蛹壳。不想,这只蝴蝶身躯臃肿,双翅干瘪,根本飞不起来,不久便死去。
蝴蝶必须在痛苦中挣扎,直至双翅强壮,方可破蛹高飞。人类不适当的爱,反成埋葬它的坟墓。蝴蝶如此,青少年又何尝不是这样?家长的溺爱,也恰似一把残酷的剪刀,只扼***孩子,使他们永远无法腾飞。正如著名的诗人汪国真所言:“怕只怕,爱也是一种伤害。”溺爱成伤,历史上不乏先例。仲永5岁能诗,聪颖超群,却在父母及众人的赞扬和宠爱之下,最终“泯然众人矣”;赵武灵王对儿子放纵娇惯,最终被不孝之子活活饿死;晋武帝纵宠儿子奢侈享受,其子继位后治国无方,西晋王朝走向亡。无论是仲永之“伤”,还是赵武灵王的“悲”或西晋王朝的“衰”,都是宠爱的恶果。“宠”,是宝盖下面的一条龙,这龙是无法腾飞的龙啊!
相反,对孩子严格要求,不但不会对孩子造成伤害,还有利于孩子的成长。王羲之年幼时,他的父亲便教他习字,要求甚严,结果王羲之终成百代书驿;曾国藩严整家规,教子有方,曾氏家族赫赫名扬;巴顿的父亲要求他每早苦读,造就了一位叱咤风云的人物……须知这些家长并非不爱孩子,只因他们清楚,宠溺不是正确的爱,纵宠只会带来伤害。
可悲的是,当今的某些父母却不明白这个道理。孩子矫揉造作,说这是天真可爱;孩子挥霍浪费,说他将来准挣大钱;孩子口出狂言,说胸有大志;孩子要摘月亮,这些父母就可以去找梯子。殊不知,这样做只会使孩子独毒骄娇,自由放任,不懂长幼尊卑,缺乏集体观念。如此爱出来的“小皇帝”,将来只怕是误已、误家、误国的“昏君”!
家长爱孩子本无可非议。但这爱,不应是牢笼,不应是蜜罐,不应是保险箱,只应是孩子放纵时家长严厉的目光,孩子懒惰时家长频频的叮嘱,孩子犯错时家长谆谆的教诲。……因为只有这样,蛹中的蝴蝶才能飞起,稚气的少年才能成长;只这样,爱才不是一种伤害。
一只小小的温室花朵正在接受智力投资,但这只花朵并不快乐,因为它的叶子早已因没有养料枯萎了。
这就是漫画——重点培养。
现在的社会上,独生子女已经越来越多,20世纪70年代,我国提倡“一对夫妇,只生一个孩子”的政策,来控制人口快速增长和提高人口素质。现在城市百分之九十,农村百分之六十以上家庭都是独生子女,因此独生子女的成长引起了关注。家长们越来越宠爱这些只有一个的儿女。家长们的普遍观点是,要给孩子在智力上提高,只有学习是最重要的,品德、体育根本不必放在心上。家长们彻底错误了,这种想法给孩子们幼小的心灵埋下了祸根。
独生子女的特点就是“独”,独一无二就成为家庭的轴心,家长事事围着子女转,这样会使孩子以自我为中心扭曲性格,从而形成任性、骄横、自私的心理。从而导致犯罪。爱,给孩子带来温暖与安全感,使之情绪愉快,易于开发智力,促进全面发展。但娇宠溺爱、迁就放纵,包办代替、放弃教育、剥夺独立。就会导致孩子经不起挫折,缺乏责任感,难以适应社会。家长过分溺爱,一味娇惯,使子女的*不断升级。现在大部分家庭都是三口之家,而孩子又往往是独生子女,有的父母认为孩子少,应该让孩子过得幸福一些,特别是那些过去经历过苦日子的人不愿让孩子再“吃苦”。因此,对子女总是百依百顺,要啥给啥,让独生子女成了家庭的“小皇帝”。
我们班上大多数都是独生子女,下课时,有的同学说,家长已经给她找好了中学,所以他这段时间就可以高枕无忧。结果这段时间,有些同学的成绩掉得很厉害。这就是家长太重视智力,而忽视了儿女的思想问题。
不少家长对孩子学习成绩的关心胜过孩子自己,以至不断给孩子增加课外负担和精神压力。父母这样做无非是为了让孩子将来考上一个好的中学,将来再考上一个好的大学,有一个美好的前途。要知道,在我国目前的情况下,不可能每一个人都能上大学。必须承认人与人智力上的差别。因此,尽量给孩子提供全面发展的机会才是明智的做法。家长对孩子抱有不切实际的期望,是十分愚蠢的,只能给家长和孩子都带来痛苦。
家长对孩子的教育是否成功,并不在于孩子将来能否出人头地、光宗耀祖,而在于孩子的德、智、体、美能否得到全面发展,将来能否成为一个自食其力且对社会有用的人。确实,智力很重要,但如果一个人很聪明,他却不走正路,也没有用,再说了,如果这个人一天到晚什么事都不会做,再聪明又有什么用?
家长们,觉悟吧,独生子女不是是“小皇帝”、“小公主”、“小大阳”,而是要建设祖国的精英!
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