【习作题目】
Students Grading of Their Teachers
1.学生给老师打分已很普遍;
2.人们对其持不同态度(肯定或否定的态度);
3.你的看法。
【习作解读】
显然,此任务是写一篇议论文,主题为对学生给老师打分的现象进行议论,开放性较大。学生应根据实际情况,从多个方面阐述其原因并表达自己对这种现象的观点和态度。该话题更加贴近学生的实际生活,但有一定的语言难度,也有一定的思想深度。通过此文的写作,也从侧面提示了学生在注重写作基础训练的前提下,也应该注重培养积极思考、灵活运用、自由发挥等能力。
此次的写作任务出题相当巧妙,写作内容涉及的词汇和句型都属于新课程标准范围。题目在考查学生写作能力的同时,也在考查学生的分析判断能力及高度概括能力。富有想象力的学生写出的文章可能生动而富有灵性。此题目能引发学生对平日习以为常的行为进行反思,学会换位思考,这对中学生的性格和品德培养非常重要。
【习作展示】
Students Grading of Their Teachers
Nowadays, a lot of schools ask their students to contribute to grading their teachers. As a teacher, it is their responsibility to satisfy their students in all aspects. Meanwhile, it is admirable that school teachers prefer to expose themselves to their students.
If the system of grading of teachers by students is introduced, it will benefit students, teachers and the administration of the school for a number of reasons. For one thing, the system will give teachers and the administration of the school an insight into the minds of the students and show whether the teachers are successful in getting their lessons understood by the students; for another, it will also encourage the good teachers to continue their efforts and motivate themselves. What is more, it will expose those who are not doing enough and will lead them to correct their teaching methods as well as their attitude towards students. Thus the quality of teaching will certainly improve.
In a word, it is a promising concept and will bring surprisingly good results if applied with the right conditions.
【习作点评】
作者观点明确,赞成学生给老师打分。作为老师,就要做一个让学生满意的老师。这样,不仅对学生、学校有利,而且对老师本人也有利。这样,老师就会从另一个角度重新审视自己,看自己是否是一个成功的老师。如果得到学生的认可,这将是对自己的一次鼓励,为继续前行增添动力。如果学生的认可度不高,老师就应进行反思,调控教学方法和教学态度。这样,教学质量肯定会提高。作
者用简洁、明快的语言以及自己的经历列举了充分的论据,内容充实,贴近生活。For one thing, for another, what is more, in a word等过渡词的使用,是短文结构清晰,层次分明。最后,最值得一提的是,文中多次正确运用的高级词汇和复杂句式,给文章增添了不少文采。综上所述,这是一篇不可多得的佳作,值得向大家推荐。
二、写作模板
此模板适用于社会现象类议论文。参考模式如下:
Nowadays, there exists an increasingly serious social/economic/environmental There are a couple of reasons behind this problem/phenomenon. For one ;Based on the above discussions, I can easily forecast that more and more people
Nowadays, there exists a common phenomenon—with the development of the Internet, more and more people tend to send electronic cards instead of paper ones to their friends and relatives when an important holiday comes.
There are a couple of reasons behind this phenomenon. For one thing, compared with the traditional cards, electronic cards are more lively and interesting. They can give not only pictures but also sound and animation. For another, there are many websites online which offer varieties of cards for you to choose from. What is more, with the popularity of the electronic cards, less paper is used in making paper cards, which does good to our environment.
Based on the above discussions, I can easily forecast that sending greetings by using electronic cards will be accepted by more and more people, not only the young ones.
三、写作指导
写作思路是先列出一个具体的社会问题或者现象,然后分析产生的原因和产生的影响,最后提出解决问题的办法,或者得出结论,或者提出个人看法,或者预测前景。
论点、论据、论证是议论文的三要素。论点是作者对所议论问题所持有的见解和主张,论据是用来证明论点的事实和道理的根据;论证是用论据来证明论点的方法和过程。一般来说,议论文每段都有主题句来确定论点。论证的方法很多,但最常用的是因果分析法。即:分析事实与论点的因果关系,指出取得结果的原因是所要证明的论点,从而达到论证的目的。
在近几年的高考中,议论文的比重占得越来越多,议论文的.出题形式可以多种多样,有看图写作、图表、表格、书信等各种类型,但文体实际是议论文,而有时是夹叙的议论文。议论文的写作要点是:
1. 观点鲜明,文章一定有一个明确的中心论点。
2. 层次分明,一个中心论点通常有几个分论点支持,不同层次之间要分明,过渡清晰自然。
3. 最后一段一般要总结全文,得出一个符合逻辑的结论,突出中心思想。
4. 一般采用一般现在时。
5. 语言简洁有力,一般不采用口语。
四、巩固练习
1.【练习题目】
2010年上海世界博览会期间,上万的青年志愿者参加志愿工作,请你谈谈对此现象的看法。
【参考范文】
During the period of holding the 2010 World Expo in Shanghai, tens of thousands of young citizens are participating in volunteer work, hoping to devote themselves to the grand occasion. As far as I am concerned, everyone ought to enter for it. Here are the reasons I want to mention.
It can be argued that the advantages of doing unpaid volunteer work are enormous, because volunteer work is actually a two-way street. First of all, volunteer work should always benefit people who need help. Those who need help will feel happier due to our immediate help. On the other hand, as far as the young people ourselves are concerned, we have more opportunities to develop the sense of responsibility, independence as well as interpersonal skills in the process of helping others.
Through this kind of work, we become confident and mature. In addition, we can make many friends and increase our chances of getting the jobs of our dreams. Furthermore, volunteer work plays an active role in building up a harmonious society.
In a word, it is of great value for the young adults to offer volunteer work. The youth volunteers do make a difference by the voluntary work! Why not join them and do something for our country?
2.【练习题目】
某些中学生为了显示自己成熟或表明自己醋而吸烟。请写一篇120词左右的短文,列举吸烟的危害,并提出建议。
【参考范文】
I am sorry to know that more and more middle school students begin to smoke. I think it is wrong to believe that smoking is cool and even think that smoking makes you appear to be mature. In fact, smoking is not cool but very dangerous.
First, smoking can do much damage to health. Scientific researches show that smoking can lead to heart diseases, cancers and other problems. It is reported that about 5 million people die of diseases related to smoking each year all over the world.
Second, it is a waste of money to smoke cigarettes. Smoking can cost a great deal of money. Once you are addicted to it, it is difficult to give it up.
What’s more, smoking can cause fires easily, which may do great damage to your life and your surroundings.
So give up smoking at once! Only in this way can you keep healthy forever.
3. 【练习题目】近年来,越来越多的中学生出国学习,出现了所谓的中学生“出国热”。请根据以下提供的信息,谈谈自己的看法。
1)良好的语言环境,更利于语言学习。
2)拓宽视野,学习国外先进的科学技术。
3)传播各民族间的不同文化。
参考词汇:媒介,中间人:mediator
【参考范文】
In recent years, studying abroad has been popular. Tens of thousands of Chinese middle school students have gone to foreign countries to study.Many people are trying their best to apply to go abroad.
There are a number of reasons for attending schools abroad.First, students who are studying abroad can act as mediators between people of different cultures. They can communicate with each other directly and learn about different cultures. Second, they can learn much more advanced knowledge of science and technology from foreign countries and experience different education methods.Third, they live in foreign countries and take classes given by foreign teachers. As a result, they can learn foreign languages much more quickly.
Therefore, it is advisable to attend schools abroad.
4.【练习题目】随着经济和社会的发展,道路上的私人小汽车越来越多。请根据自己的观察和理解,谈谈自己的观点。
【参考范文】
With the fantastic development both in economy and in society in China, the number of people who own private cars is on the rise. Some people have bought cars of their own, and others are planning to buy cars. But I strongly object to the increase in developing private cars.
I hold that automobiles will give rise to a series of problems. In the first place, as more and more cars are produced and run on the road, a large volume of poisonous gas will be given off, polluting the atmosphere and causing actual harm to the health of people. Next, private cars contribute to traffic jams so greatly that the advantages gained in comfort and freedom are often cancelled out by the frustration caused by traffic jams. The last problem is the increasing number of car accidents that have killed and will kill a lot of people in a friction of a second.
In a word, although automobiles have been playing a vital part in the daily activities of our society, they also bring us numerous troubles such as more serious environmental pollution, more traffic accidents and more energy consumption. They drink up huge amounts of fuel and throw out huge amounts of pollutants. Jams waste our precious time. Therefore, I am against developing private cars.
有一种感动叫感同身受,当听到空灵的歌声响起,混合着的是满屏的中国红,突然心中就有一种国泰民安,盛世太平的满足感,有时候爱国情怀并不需要那么慷慨激昂,涕泗横流,细水长流的感情也是感动的。
典礼前一夜最后的准备,测量数据、无法实地排演的不便,高空焊接旗杆,困难迎刃而解时的松了口气。第一面红旗升起的意义是我们走出沉痛的扬眉吐气;蘑菇云在天空出现,一段爱情因奉献而错过,小我的牺牲换来了中国的成长。但这漫长长久的路程牺牲了太多人的人生,不仅仅是爱情,还有亲情,健康等很多东西。
在这里想到了以邓稼先为首的研究人员,他们牺牲了自己去换取了中国人民的底气;女排连冠,上海弄堂邻里间一场赛事直播观看,跑上跑下的孩子是新生的活力和希望,从上到下的都是中华民族文化;香港回归,无论是谈判官,升旗手,还是钟表师傅,警察,市民,都渴望着祖国的怀抱。《东方之珠》响起,承载着无数人民的期待;奥运之喜、汶川之伤巧妙结合,伤感、喜悦一起而来,最终走向温馨的小团圆,是千万人民的幸福感;少年强则国强,正确的爱的教育,使幼苗长成国家的栋梁,是我们的未来,是我们的希望;护航,是一种使命。总有许多默默付出的护航人在守护者前路的平安无阻,这是他们对祖国最长情的告白。
一个个小生命,一个个普通故事,平凡人的故事和共和国的成长紧密相连。平凡百姓见证了历史,感受了时代的进步,人情味十足。方言,造型这些无不拉近了他们与现实人的距离,亲切又温暖。而不是乏味的、空泛的。这一桩桩值得铭记的瞬间,被人们一一回忆,人民因此得到了很好的爱国教育。
不久前爆发的“韩白骂战”闹得沸沸扬扬,在这里,我不谈事件根源,也不论孰是孰非。我不懂文学,当然也就不会争论什么文学不文学的,(这事儿恐怕不是文学争论那么简单咯)只说说从中看到的几个社会现象。
现象一:帮亲不帮理。
帮理不帮亲是中国历代传承的行为准则,但是社会发展到今天已不是这样子啦。譬如说吧,某人在街上被狗咬了,这人理所当然地向狗的主人讨要医药费,而往往狗主人只会敷衍一两句,然后狗主人的儿子就跳出来大讲“道理”,接着儿子那当官的老丈人也跳了出来,骂被咬之人撒泼使赖,对狗咬人一事却一字不提。天理何在!“韩白骂战”也是这个样子。先是白烨不止一次说韩寒的文学不够文学之类的话,韩寒看了那些话就骂了白烨,而白烨不答话,然后白烨的哥们跳了出来,接着哥们的儿子也跳了出来……跳来跳去,全是些不相***人,都只听说自己的亲朋好友被骂了,就不管孰是孰非,这个说韩寒是“红卫兵”,那个要抽韩寒俩巴掌,这都什么乱七八糟啊,典型的“帮亲不帮理”。
现象二:长辈的话就是至理。
长辈说:“不对,你是错的。”那么你就是错的。如果你说自己没错并指出长辈的.错误,就会被说成叛逆不尊重长辈,然后一群长辈围着你骂(一般地,他们不会耐心教育。还教育个屁,他们连是非黑白都不辨,就他们说的是真理)。尊老爱幼是中华民族的传统美德,所以晚辈应该尊敬爱护长辈,但是,我认为长辈并不就是年龄比自己大的人,对那些不辨是非歪曲事实甚至诋毁别人的人,纵然他们的年龄比自己大也不必把他们当长辈来尊敬,而是要大胆地指出他们的错误,毕竟爱心的泛滥,只会让他们错上加错;等到他们改正了错误,晚辈还是要视他们为长辈,而且加倍地尊敬他们。
现象三:暴力倾向严重。
在“韩白骂战”中,“抽嘴巴”“付出血的代价”等暴力字眼出现频率极高,由此现今社会暴力倾向严重可见一斑。作为长辈,作为有社会影响的人物,成天个把打啊***啊血啊等话儿挂在嘴边,这社会的暴力倾向能不严重吗?孩子从长辈那里得到一个讯息:以拳头解决问题。从家庭暴力到校园斗殴再到社会不良青年打群架,难道其中没有值得反省的东西?
以上是我从“韩白骂战”中看到的几个与现今社会现象有关的问题。
每当看到鲜艳的五星红旗在雄伟的国歌中缓缓上升,在天空中迎风飘扬,我便会想起那部令我感动的影片——《我和我的祖国》
在1949年开国大典前夕,电动升旗设计者林治远无意中听说电动升旗装置有些问题,他连忙连夜排查,试了一次又一次,最后发现是旗杆顶部的缓冲装置锈化。知道这个问题后,林治远一下子眼神无光,深色黯淡,坐在地上。因为他知道,这一个缓冲装置需要许多稀有金属才能做成。林治远的徒弟没有像他师傅那么消极,而是拿上大喇叭,快速爬上房顶,举起大喇叭,就用他那早已嘶哑的嗓子喊着:“急需金属,急需稀有金属。”这一喊,让北京的老百姓们听见了,他们纷纷提着红灯笼,走向林治远的家,这一景象,可壮观了!一个个灯笼连成一片,就像一条长龙,人们拿着含有金属的东西,在大街上走着。
刚开始看,你会觉得人们很笨很笨,拿着家中的生活用具就来了,有拿着收音机的老奶奶,有拿着自己的老花眼镜的老婆婆……最后嗜烟如命的老爷爷都把自己的那个黑乎乎的烟管交了出去。看着看着,我突然间觉得人们笨得那么可爱。你知道人们这么做,是为什么吗?他们为的不只是一场完美的开国大典,而是想为这个已经受尽苦难,即将迎来黎明的国家尽一份自己的力量。
最后,影片的高潮来了。林治远独自一人爬上电线杆,没有什么工具,只用自己的双手来焊接装置。他自己也承认过,自己有严重的恐高症,可是,他没有犹豫,而是勇敢地爬了上去,在旗杆顶端做焊接等动作。
看完,我的眼睛蒙上了一层雾。爱国,仅仅是一个口号吗?不,不是,爱国,更是一种信念。这种信念会让你能克服你以为自己没法面对的困难。就像林治远,为了国家有一个完美的开国大典,不害怕,不犹豫,勇敢地面对自己的恐高症,勇敢地爬上旗杆。
作为小学生,虽不用干什么轰轰烈烈的大事,但是我们要多多努力,长大后,给国家出一份力。
亲爱的妈妈:
你好!
又到了年末,让我思绪万千,这么多年未曾见面,不知你可安好?你有没有想过我和弟弟?有没有过回家的念头?是或否,答案在你的心里。
自我记事起,记忆里便没有过你的影子,哪怕只是一点点。你为什么出去打工六、七年,直到现在也不给家里打个电话?隐约中只有刚出门时那么几个电话。
小时候的我们,虽然日子过得清苦,但是一家人多么幸福啊!家庭和睦,团团圆圆。我们也明白若不是经济紧张,你们也不会出去打工,可是你为什么不回来看看我和弟弟,爸爸无论在哪务工,春节时都回来呀!
还记得我小时候吗?那是多么的快乐呀!爸爸和你上山干农活时总会带上我和弟弟,你们在地里干着活,我守在弟弟旁边看着你们。你们脸颊上的汗水凝成了珠,滴在了土地上,可是你们是笑着的呀,是发自内心的笑。这就是苦,但苦中有甘。
小时候的我,有点调皮,有些捣蛋,喜欢拿你的耳钉玩。有一次,一不小心,把你的塑料耳钉塞到了鼻子里,取不出来。我特别害怕,就难过得大哭,你知道后,想尽了办法帮我取出来。可是,越紧张就越出错,耳钉不仅没取出来,反倒越往鼻腔里去了。我看见你哭了,你在担心我呀!你顾不上穿好外衣,急急忙忙地找到了爸爸,抱着我往医院赶。到了医院门口,我打了个喷嚏,耳钉出来了。我看了看你,你笑了,喜极而泣,抱着我蹲在地上哭了好久。我依稀记得,那天的风,凉飕飕的,要变天了。
不知从何时起,我隐约觉得你变了,变成了我不认识的妈妈,你和奶奶吵架了,我在奶奶那儿吃饭,你硬拖我下来,带到厨房里,把饭塞到我嘴里,用筷子戳好几下,戳到我的喉咙,我痛得眼泪往外涌,而你却无动于衷。
那天爸爸去邻居家了,你见爸爸前脚走,你立马用被子蒙住我的脸,坐在我身上,我扯着喉咙大喊,直到声音喑哑,我以为我要死了,爷爷奶奶知道了,赶来把你从我身上推下去,抱走了一息尚存的我,我泪水一直在流,心也一直在痛。
如今的我回忆起往昔种种,泪水横流,可是我不恨你呀!因为你是生我养我的亲妈,你为什么不回来呢?为什么不肯打个电话回家呢?什么原由,恐怕只有你自己清楚了。
看着同学一个个父母疼爱,我只能在一旁干瞪眼了。记忆中的你,日渐模糊,不懂你为何能狠下心来离家出走抛弃我们,你可知我、弟弟和爸爸为你流过了多少辛酸的泪,哭过多少回,爸爸为你瘦了多少,你未曾知道。
盼,在我少年时代与你能够再见面一回,哪怕再见只是陌路人也无防。
你的女儿:胡楠
20xx年6月3日
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