此类例子往往缺乏客观性和说服力,由于第一人称的局限导致所叙述事件难免“鸡毛蒜皮”。要明白,个人不代表整体。
例:I keep my dog to avoid my loneliness and I find a lot of fun.
这样的例子让人犹如在看记叙文,和议论文很不搭调。
虽然来源于身边社会,但不可让描述方式变的太鸡毛蒜皮,拿不上台面。其实这点非常容易办到,只需要把事件中某一个具体的你,我,他,变成是客观群体,比如说people across the globe, students, they之类的人称即可。
举例的常见表达方式:
for example,/for instance,(后加句子)
Such as/ like (后加词组)
Take... as an example,
A case in point is that......
其次,在举例时还应注意尺度。
1. 应避免使用第一人称和第二人称,为了加强客观性,应将人称写成第三人称。
改正:Those people who raise pets, such as dogs and cats, are more likely to gain happiness and relieve their loneliness.(那些养宠物,例如养猫和养狗的人往往更容易获得快乐并且缓解孤独感)
2. 应避免引用一项调查研究,并同时伴有过多数据。应将数据去掉,用含糊的方法表示。
改正:There is much evidence to show that the number of people smoking has increased at an alarming rate in China. (大量证据表明。。。)
3. 应避免将例子局限在一个国家,尤其是中国。应将范围放至全世界。
改正:Many children around the world like to sit in front of the screen for a long time, leading to their poor eyesight.(在全世界,许多孩子在屏幕前待太久,导致了他们的视力减弱。
“全世界”的表达方式:around the world, all over the world, across the globe
【写作真题】The advocates of international aid believe that countries have a moral obligation to help each other, while the opponents consider it necessary, because money is misspent by the governments that receive it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
【名师献计】This aid is essential to the homeless and useful in helping recipient countries return to their normal state after major disturbances. For example, with the humanitarian relief obtained worldwide on an annual basis, victims of natural disasters (such as tsunami, drought, flood throughout the world can recover rapidly and rebuild their homeland.
太多专业数据会给人捏造的痕迹,缺乏真实性。考官会质疑数据的出处。
例:A survey indicates that the number of people smoking has increased to as high as 65 percent in China.(一项调查显示。。。)
"65%"让文章看起来有些假,有捏造的嫌疑。"A survey"又不够具有代表性。
所谓议论文,最关键之处在于论述得当。支持句应使主题句更加令人信服,令考生的想法更加鲜明的呈现在考官面前。然而,中国考生在论述时往往存在一些误区:
Most female consumers shop unwisely.
选好词汇之后,就选择搭配,但搭配的组合一定要与自己的观点相符:
influences我们通常都和positive / negative 搭配;advertisements也可以分为commercials和non-profit adverts;people可以用the general public替代,所以句子如下:
Commercials and non-profit adverts have both positive and negative influences on the general public.
这就是将简单句进行华丽变身的方法啦~最后环球君要给大家出个题目哦!
本周考题
Community service is helpful for both students and society.
这句话老师的扩句版本为
Establishing community service as a compulsory part in high school education is not only helpful for students but also meaningful for whole society.
当深深的失意困扰,便推开窗户,缓缓吸入新鲜的带着泥土芳香的空气。雪白的鸽子盘旋飞翔,流淌下一串悦耳的哨音。就像儿时,带着惊喜,小心的捏住蒲公英的细须,鼓起两腮,吹散降落伞似的蒲公英的孩子。闭上眼,真诚的许个愿,再睁开双眸,盛满了欣慰和憧憬。
当无赖的.厌倦涌来,便离了家门,在远远的山坡上,注视夕阳壮丽的沉没。风声虫鸣,过滤心中的杂音,如同儿时,夜晚,在自家的小院,静静地蹲在花圃里聆听金龟子的歌声,扳着手指数天上闪烁的星星。
于是,嘈杂的世界渐渐隐去,拥有了一颗宁静的心……
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