自卑者认为自己技不如人,他既不像自暴自弃那样自甘堕落,也不像自强不息那样勇往直前。有自卑感的人如同阴影中的萌芽,他们向往成功、羡慕辉煌,却又拒绝生长无法舒展。他们往往看不起自己,在乎别人的眼光,种种顾虑锁住了前进的脚步,面对困难一筹莫展……他们常在每次企图奋起直追之时不由自主地反问自己:我行吗?我还能赶得上去吗?唉!我已失败了那么多次……多次失败的打击,已完全挫伤了他们继续前进争取的勇气与力量。
比自卑更可怕的就是自负。自负感的产生往往源于已经获得的一些成绩,是自满情绪的进一步恶化。有自负感的人,我们可以说他有一定的“本儿”当作资历,但在成功面前不小心便失去了自我,以为自己已成圣果,惟我独尊而听不进去他人的劝谏,其结果往往是一意孤行,在南墙拌个头破血流还不知省悟。有自负感的人还可能经不住失败,一旦失败便转为自卑,心中黑暗一片,再也鼓不起斗志与信心。
自卑与自负就像一对孪生兄弟,有时令我们难辨真伪:一位颇有名气的老师面对同学在公开课上指出的错误予以否定或含糊其词不了了之;一位大文豪在一篇无名作家的优秀作品扉页批上:改、退;两个具有相当实力、参加同一竞赛的同学不指出对方的不足之处为的.是减少自己夺魁的威胁……表象看来这是自负,究其实质却是自卑。你若肯定自己的水平就不该掩盖自己的过失;你若笔杆子过硬就不该担心新秀层出的光芒将你照成黑影;你若自己信自己的实力就不会拒绝助他人完美……这也是一种自卑,是一种成功者的自卑。
由此看来,无论是自卑还是自负,其根本原因都是没有正确认识自己,不能客观评价自己。自卑者夸大了自己的短处或是别人的长处;自负者夸大的自己的长处或别人的短处。
心态决定行动,行动决定习惯,习惯决定性格,性格决定命运。我们不做命运的奴隶,不做生活的狂徒,自卑与自负以外的一种境界便是自强。自卑者或自负者要走出它们的误区,自强者面对自己不能发作的自己卑感与自负感,要迈开阔步绕道走。那么到底什么是自强呢?
画出一条有原点有正方向的数轴来,负半轴是自卑,正半轴是自负,你想要建立直角坐标吗?纵轴要过原点的噢!原点就是自强,以原点沿纵轴向上攀登,你将走向的是青去直上的正无穷,你将看见的是追求中的风光无限!
Father had a family of sons who were perpetually quarrelling among themselves. When he failed to heal their disputes by his exhortations, he determined to give them a practical illustration of the evils of disunion; and for this purpose he one day told them to bring him a bundle of sticks. When they had done so, he placed the faggot into the hands of each of them in succession, and ordered them to break it in pieces. They each tried with all their strength, and were not able to do it.
He next unclosed the faggot, and took the sticks separately, one by one, and again put them into their hands, on which they broke them easily. He then
addressed them in these words: "My sons, if you are of one mind, and unite to assist each other, you will be as this faggot, uninjured by all the attempts of your enemies; but if you are divided among yourselves, you will be broken as easily as these sticks."
“自信”说:“我们要努力使自己成为出类拔萃的.佼佼者。”
“自负”说:“是啊,我们要开创‘前无故人,后无来者’事业。”
“自信”的执着追求,终于为他赢得荣誉、信任和赞赏奠定了基础;“自负”的自命不凡、目空一切,注定了他碌碌无为的结局。
哲学家说:“自信”是成功的助推器,“自负”则是成功路上的绊脚石。
一位父亲有几个孩子,这些孩子时常发生口角。他丝毫没有办法来劝阻他们,只好让他们看看不合群所带来害处的例子。为了达到这个目的,有一天他叫他们替他拿一捆细柴来。当他们把柴带来时,他便先后地将那捆柴放在每一个孩子的手中,吩咐他们弄断这捆柴。他们一个个尽力去试,总是不能成功。
然后他解开那捆柴,一根根地放在他们手里,如此一来,他们便毫不费力地折断了。于是他就告诉他们说:「孩子们!如果你们大家团结一致,互相帮助,你们就像这捆柴一样,不能被你们的敌人折断;但如果你们自行,你们就将和这些散柴一般,不堪一折了。」
Country Garden and Me
On the way from Panyu City to Shunde City and approaching the conjunction point of both cities, a big advertisement board of the infamous Country Garden will catch your eyes. And on the board, a lovely girl gently holds a little white pigeon.
She looks at everybody with a sweet smile. Who is this girl? Let me tell you later. Country Garden is located at the Beijao town, Shunde City of Guangdong Province. Ten years ago when my Dad and Mom took me as a baby to Guangzhou, it was a wasteland here. But what does this piece of wasteland look like nowadays? Country Garden has been developed and enlarged rapidly on the ground of this land, and a great number of high-quality houses and apartments have been built up within the garden. Over the past decade, other nine country gardens with various unique designs have been erasing around the great city of Guangzhou. The construction and management of several gardens have engaged the devoted contributions from my Dad and Mom.
Country Garden has grown up together with me, and I am one of the witnesses of its growth and development.
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