写景时必须按照一定的顺序来写,才能使条理清楚,才能让读者欣赏中的优美景致。我们常用的顺序有以时间为序和以空间为序两种。
以时间为顺序,就是以时间的先后来描写景物。主要表现在描写同一景物时,突出景物在不同时间、不同季节发生的变化。例如一天之内的早、中、晚,一年春,夏,秋,冬四季……
例如董铃同学《小路》一文中的描写:
在宽阔的大路旁,有一条不引人注目的小路。
温暖的春天,微风吹拂着,小路边小树上才发出一点点嫩绿小芽的树枝。乌黑发亮的小燕子,“叽”的一声,像离弦的箭飞过了小路。含苞未放的小野花快要开了,小草偷偷地冒出了地面,显得非常娇嫩,给小路增添了许多生趣。
夏天,野花开了,散发出一阵阵清香。远远望去路两边的小草郁郁葱葱,配上黄色的野花,好看极了。天气闷热,有些人在路边的大树下乘凉,享受着着甜蜜的快乐。暴雨无情地打在小路上,小草小花没有屈服,毅然挺立在风雨之中。小路一片泥泞,我踏着泥泞的小路向学校走去。
凉爽的秋天,金黄的谷穗沉甸甸地低下了头,高粱红了脸,小路上的小草变黄了。野葡萄野熟了,摘一个,酸甜可口,好吃极了。小路也变成金黄的了。
寒冷的冬天,西北风呼呼地吹着树枝来回摇摆。我迎着刺骨的寒风走在小路上。天上飘下白莹莹的小雪花,小路变成了银白的路。小路上留下一串串深深的脚印。雪渐渐地盖住我的脚印。
这篇作文按照春、夏、秋、冬四个不同的季节,描写了小路景色的变化。小作者观察细致,抓住了小路各季节的不同特征。这条小路是小作者非常熟悉的景物,所以小路在他的笔下充满生机,“活”了起来。通过作者的描写我们看到了萌动的春天,小草“偷偷地冒出地面”;暴风雨的夏天,“小草小花没有屈服”;凉爽的秋天,“小路一片金黄”;寒冷的冬天,“小路变成了银白的路”。
写景还可按景物的空间顺序来写,如左,右,前,后,东,西等方位。或由远到近,或由近到远,或由上到下,或由下到上,还可以按游览顺序来写。
例如苏雁同学《登青秀山塔》一文中的描写:
秋末冬初,天高气爽。星期天,爸爸妈妈带着我们和哥哥来到青秀山公园参观游览。
刚一进门,我和哥哥便向那塔跑去。来到塔脚,举目仰望,才发现比在远处看见的更雄伟,更高大。塔是八角形的,共分九层,塔身直插苍天。塔的每层都有彩色的琉璃瓦檐角,角下垂挂着金色的风铃,这漂亮的小巧的风铃儿,在微风中时而发出美妙动听的铃声,吸引游人停住脚步欣赏一会儿。随后,我们便进入拱门的塔门,开始攀登了。
塔的梯子真奇特,是螺旋形的,像个巨大的螺丝钉。……从窗口往外望,每层的酱色都不一样。第二层看到的是四周郁郁葱葱的树木。第五层可看到整个青秀山的面貌了,还可以望见江水由西向东奔流而去。……
越往上登,窗户越小,风声却越来越大,我的帽子差点被吹掉了。到了顶层往下看:江边的公路细得像根管子,马车、行人都小得像蚂蚁,旁边的房子成了火柴盒。
步出塔门,我们还依依不舍地瞧那风铃。……
小作者是按照从外到内、从低到高的顺序写了塔的特点,和登上塔顶向下俯视看到的情景。脉络清晰,层次分明表达了自己所看所想。
写景,并不是单纯地描写景物。祖国的山川名胜,花草树木、都能让我们生发出强烈的思想感情。或是热爱,或是惊叹,或是赞美。写景和抒情之间有着密切的关系。只有把写景和抒情交融在一起,才能达到写作的目的.。借景抒情,就是在具体在景物描写的基础上,进而抒发自己的感情,比如描写上学路上小路四季不同的景象就会很自然地流露出对小路的热爱,对自己所住环境的热爱。
由景生情,由景入情,融情入景,都应该是非常自然和谐的,不能有丝毫的牵强附会,或者是虚情假意。只有真情实意地写景,才能打动读者,才能引起人们的共鸣。
例如毕影微同学《傍晚的玄武湖》一文中的描写:
……
玄武湖的水是那么清亮,简直像一颗巨大的光滑灿烂的绿宝石。微风拂过湖面,掀起层层涟漪,在夕阳的照耀下,湖水闪闪发光,像鱼鳞,像碎金,使人心旷神怡。微小的波浪,好像追逐嬉闹的孩子,永远都不感到厌倦。晶莹的水珠溅在手上,给人一丝凉意,使人精神振奋。站在岸边,能一眼望到水底,有时还会看到一群小鱼在游来游去,让人感到这碧绿的水中,还存在着生命,它们给湖水带来了生气,也增添了神秘感。
……
这篇小作者用优美的文字,形象的比喻,写出了傍晚玄武湖的庄重与神秘,给人印象深刻。中的字里行间透出了作者对玄武湖的热爱,对家乡的赞美之情。
同学们只要平时多注意观察,多留心自己身边景物的变化,多积累素材,写作时注意运用这几点来描写你熟悉的景物,老师相信美好的景物一定会在你的中展示给大家。
首先需要自我的主观控制,如正确的大方向,循序渐进的各个步骤,然后步步为营。其次客观的条件也是不可缺少。人类生存的基础是物质资料的'生存方式。只有做到像革命的本钱——身体也是为以后打下坚实的基础。同时,在这个奋斗过程中,傲气不可有,傲骨却必须有。身体只是一份躯壳,内在的精神气骨才是可贵的。最后,在主客观条件都已具备的同时,要把握机遇,促成量变变向质变的一个飞跃。然后才可以实现人生梦想。
to prevent H7N9 we should know some common sense. First of all, it is important for us to prevent H7N9 from ourselves. For example, clean our hands frequently.
Sencondly, do more exercises. Such as running. Lastly, change our diet to keep balence. For example, eat more types of vegetables and drink more water
Nowadays, many famous university campuses have become one of the popular tourist attractions. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that every year thousands and thousands of middle school students visit Tsing Hua University and Peking University and other famous universities in China. In the place far away from the capital city, the local students also visit the universities famous in their own province.
So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to open the university campus for tourists? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing for the students to visit the famous university campus in that it can enable the middle students to get more information about the university and they can have enough time and opportunity to prepare themselves with the chance to get into the university. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the public tourism will have negative effect on the universities because it will not only do harm to the environment but also to the intellectual atmosphere.
In my opinion, the tourism to the universities is not a good thing. The campus is mainly a place for study. With the increasing tourism on the campus, it will ruin the spiritual atmosphere in this learning field.
首先,提纯范文 “谋篇布局”及结构模板。
第一段:提出问题或现象。Nowadays, … … have become one of the popular … …. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that … ….
第二段:正反列举人们的看法。So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to … …? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing for … … in that … …. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, … … will have negative effect on … … because it will not only do harm to … … but also to … ….
第三段:摆明自己观点。In my opinion, … … is not a good thing. … … With the increasing … …, it will ruin … ….
其次,提纯范文“段落写作”。
段落写作分为统一性,连贯性和完整性三方面。
统一性(unity:段落开头的主题句应该做到不可太宽泛,也不可太具体,做到有较强的概括性才能使下文做到有的放矢的展开。范文第二段首句以设问的方式提出一个问题is it a good or bad thing就有很强的概况性。下文自然会一方面从好的方面说明,另一方面从坏的方面说明。
连贯性(coherence:关联词是使文章段落之间相互连贯的必要条件。范文中nowadays, on one hand, on the other hand, in one’s opinion即以“启承转合”递进的顺序是文章条理清晰,层层展开。
完整性(completeness:以设问句“So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to open the university campus for tourists?”开头,这是平时较少运用的段落写作方式——设问法。“On one hand … …. On the other hand, … ….”是段落写作分类列举法的典型用法。
再次,提纯范文“句子写作”。
1. It has been shown that … …
类似句型:It is known to us that … …
It is said that … …
It is reported that … …
It is controversial that … …
2. “… … Tsing Hua University and Peking University and other famous universities … …。”——并列句。并列句是简单的复杂句。但其运用方法并不简单,注意练习并接句的使用,会使句子显的更加饱满。
3. enable v. 使…能够
I gave him full directions to enable him to find the house.
4. in that = because
表“因为”的连词还有since, for, as,如:
The boy was absent because he was ill. = The boy was absent since he was ill.
此句以我们常用的人称开头,句式简单,我们可以通过把since提前改变句式,如:
Since the boy was ill, he was absent. 句式多样化。
最后,提纯范文“措辞”。
1. attraction n. 具有吸引力的事情。
2. thousands and thousands 成千上万的
形容“多”的表达方法:millions and millions
a multitude of
a great deal of
a large amount of
plenty of
many a
3. “some people argued that … …”中的“argue”并不是“讨论,辩论”的意思,而是“认为”。
I argue that … …
I maintain that … …
I claim that … …
I insist that … … = I think that … …
I hold that … …
I assert that … …
I assume that … …
4. negative adj. 否定的.,相反的
hold negative view = hold opposite opinions
5. phenomenon n. 现象
social phenomenon 社会现象
natural phenomenon 自然现象
6. intellectual adj. 聪明的= intelligent, bright, clever
(选词策略:使用最近所学的单词,如intellectual > intelligent > bright > clever
在分析并掌握范文之后,我们需要运用范文知识练习仿写。笔者运用2005年12月范文中的模板结构仿写了2006年12月的四级作文,以供参考:
1. 许多人喜欢在除夕夜看春节晚会
2. 但有些人提出取消春节晚会
3. 我的看法
Nowadays, the Spring Festival Evening has become one of the popular topic and attractions during every traditional New Year’s Eve. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that every year thousands and thousands of Chinese people appear to be accustomed to enjoying the sights and sounds of a brilliant feast, while gathering with their beloved family.
However, an increasing number of people have voiced different opinions towards it. So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to cancel the Spring Festival Evening? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing to amuse the audience in that it is composed by a numerous adequate programs, such as the emotional song, the graceful dance, the funny short sketch, the amusing comic dialogue, the delightful magic, and the marvelous acrobatics and so on. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the Spring Festival Evening will have negative effect on the family harmony because it will not only do harm to having the talks between family members on the Spring Festival Eve but also to enjoying the gourmet meal in a fancy restaurant.
In my opinion, the Spring Festival Evening is a good thing. It may not remain a must for all people, but it can bring us a strong sense of festivity and serve as an alternative among the variety of holiday activities. With the increasing audience of the Spring Festival Evening, it will ruin a distinctive culture during the Spring Festival vacation.
爱情里没有背叛和虚伪,其实这都没什么,两个人能够从相识到相爱,要感到知足了,至少他爱过她,或是她爱过他,爱情更不应该自私,她是我的,你们谁也别想得到她,或者,我要你每天都要想我,时时刻刻的都要想我,呵呵,荒唐,不可理喻!你说是你的她就是你的?你说让他想你就想你吗?我认为,自己就是自己,你就是你,谁也无法控制你的感情,也无权控制!完全可以凭自己的喜好来选择,在怎么让他想你,最后还是会在一起,在怎么告诉别人她是你的,最后还是会是你的,这都要看自己的想法,自己的选择!何必去做那些无聊的事,如果你们不完美,最后只会让自己伤心,那样还不如去做些有意义的事。但是幸福是挡不住的,而谁又想去挡哪,谁不渴望幸福,这都要看你的努力,看你的真诚,去打动你爱的人!开心过一天是一天,不开心过一天也是一天,为什么不让自己开开心心的.过好每一天哪?这样何乐而不为!
为爱情牺牲,两个人的相爱,她可以为他***,他可以为她而亡,这样我只能佩服,死都不怕了,一定是脑子有问题了,如果是那个死了,就意味着,死两个拉。不怕死的精神值得去佩服,但不值得去学习!爱情了充满了血腥,有的情侣把爱情看到了极点,甚至登峰造极了,呵呵,***了她,自己在自***,或者就是为她自***,或者自残,这样的行为,在常人的想法里重的就是,唉,又是一对神经病,轻的就是,唉,又是一对精神病,好好的爱,干吗这样?有意义吗,这样显得自己神圣吗?呵呵,常人无法理解!
爱情不太好,没有完美无缺的爱,只有未完成的爱,如果完成了就不会有这些肮脏的事发生,既然这样,为何不让它去完成,未完成的爱真的会完成吗,恐怕只有完成爱的人知道!
我也想让我的爱完成,但是没希望,下辈子把,呵呵,未完成的爱,每个人都希望它永远的完成!
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