1。 头绪分明,脉络清楚
写好记叙文,首先要头绪分明,脉络清楚,明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析,弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程,然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”,但动笔之前,围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。
2。 突出中心,详略得当
在文章的框架确定后,对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍,应该从表现文章主题的需要出发,分清主次,定好详略。要突出重点,详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节,略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化,使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题,也需要一定的技巧。如:
One night a man came to our house and told me, "There is a family with eight children。 They have not eaten for days。" I took some food with me and went。
When I finally came to that family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured (破坏外貌) by hunger。 There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger。
I gave the rice to the mother。 She divided the rice in two, and went out, carrying half the rice。 When she came back, I asked her, "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer, "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"
3。 用活语言,准确生动
记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动,又要表现力强,这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动,其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。
原文:
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away。 He was soon lost among people and traffic。 He could not find the way back home and started crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying。 They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened。 Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived。 The two students decided to take him home。 Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound。 She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money, but they didn't take it。 She served them with tea but they left。
修改后:
The other day, five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street。 After some time, he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home。 But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic。 When he could not find the way home, he started and crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop。 They immediately went up to him。
"Little boy, why are you standing here crying?" they asked。
"I want Mom, I go home。" said the boy, still crying。
"Don't worry, we'll send you home。"
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy's house。 With the help of a policeman, they finally found it。
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound, she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house。 Gratefully, she offered them some money, saying it was a way to express her thanks, but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea。
I was born in a beautiful town with high mountains around it.The mountains are covered with all kinds of green bamboo.Through the town runs a small stream.It’s said that a new railway is going to be built to the east of the town and a bamboo factory to the west.All the children of the school age can go to school.If anyone is ill,he can go to see the doctor in the newly-built hospital.People in the town are hard-working and never take the backwardness lying down.Though they are having a richer and better life,they are not satisfied with what they have got.They are working hard to build their town into a modern one.
《活着》是一本有生命、有感染力的书。我深深记得初读《活着》的感受,从初始的悠然到其后的凝重,翻动书页的手指愈渐迟疑,我感到心中似乎有一种隐秘的期待——呼唤着一个转折,一个让主角福贵走向幸福的转折,然而,我失望了,作者是那么的残忍与吝啬,我几乎是一路心痛地读到最终。当我满心酸楚地合上书页,猛然望见封面一袭鲜血般的暗红:刺目一如长长伤口上的血淋淋,却又宛如生命勃勃的涌动……我的泪直直地落下来了。
从一个少爷吃喝嫖赌到最终败坏家业,沦落到为糊口而下地,他挚爱的亲人一个一个地逝去——老母病死、幼子因抽血猝死、妻子得病先他而去、聋哑女儿凤霞难产而终、女婿被钢板所夹意外惨死,只留下一个小小的孙子苦根,竟也在那个饥饿的年代里,活活噎死。他布满老茧的粗糙的黝黑的手掩埋了所有的亲人与泪水,最终只孑然一身与牛相依。他以笑的方式哭,在死亡的伴随下活着,这应是一个杯具吧。然而他淡淡地讲述着,没有大悲大恸,这个被厄运磨砺了一生的人居然嘿嘿地笑着。
这种生命的韧性似乎讲述着人生绝望的不存在。福贵的人生,仿佛是一株盘剥的冬笋——一层层褪去人生的虚华、一层层撕扯掉人生幸福的依靠,一层层摧毁着人的坚强。可到最终,白嫩嫩的,却剩下一个人最柔软、最纯净的人的秉性,只剩下人生存在的唯一的理由——活着,为了活着而活着。活着,执着地活着——已成为一个唯一能描述福贵的形容,也是对福贵的最好的肯定与颂赞。
深山老林里的鸟叫声是那样可爱。那个声音是动听的,牵动着我的心灵;那个声音是美丽的,给予了大自然亮丽的一道风景;那个声音也是悲凉的,听上去是那么的无助、伤感……也许,在繁华城市里,早已没有了鸟儿的的身影;也许,在我们的身边,也早就失去了他们的消息,但是,如今的我也还依稀记得,儿时我曾在姥姥家听到的,清脆的鸟鸣。
记得我四岁那年,妈妈第一次带我去姥姥家,那里并不是我所生活的城市,因此我对那里的\'一草一木都感到十分好奇。一天,姥姥带我去附近的山上玩,我无意中听到了一种似曾相识却又陌生的声音。它是那样的清脆婉转,让我的心久久不能平静,我开始寻找声音的来源。我来到小溪边,听到河水“叮咚”的声响,那不是我要寻找的声音,因为那种声音更加纯洁朴实,我听到小狗汪汪的叫声,那也不是我要寻找的声音,因为那声音更加温柔甜蜜。最后,我的眼睛停留在树杈上的鸟窝里,我发现那里有两只大鸟在引导自己的孩子如何出窝,不错的,那声音正是他们所发出。他们和人一样也有各种情绪,这个时候,是他们平生第一次面对困难,并且需要独立完成的重大任务。他们尝试着小心翼翼地张开翅膀,听着爸爸妈妈的鼓励声,他们一起从窝里跳下,先是扑腾了一会,让后逐渐的把翅膀张开,晃晃悠悠的在半空中飞翔,他们成功了,发出开心的叫声。那声音,久久萦绕在我耳旁,把甜蜜、欢乐给予了我,使我陈沉醉于大自然中。
但是,自从我依依不舍得离开姥姥家后,我就再也没听见那叫声,我查过很多资料,空气污染会影响鸟的呼吸功能,能见度降低会影响迁徙候鸟的定位能力和飞行安全;水污染会影响鸟的饮水,水鸟会失去它们主要的食物来源——鱼类和其它水生生物;土壤污染导致植被死亡。使鸟类可用的栖息环境条件恶化;自然界的昆虫等由于农药的滥用而大量减少,直接影响鸟的食物链完整和繁育质量等等,它们都严重威胁了鸟儿的生存,他们是迫不得已才搬家去很遥远的深山老林,因此,我们很少再听见鸟叫声。只能在清晨看见零零散散的几只麻雀在悲凉的鸣叫,令我很痛心,那声音似乎在呼唤自己的同伴,也同时呼唤着人类。
生命,如涓涓溪流,清澈明净;生命,如绿色的小草,挺拔向上;生命,如波涛汹涌的大海,永不停息。每一个生命都是一笔宝贵的财富,需要我们用心去呵护,用善良去珍惜。
那声音似乎已经远去,但是它时刻警醒我们保护环境,我想:这很值得我们静静的沉思……
早上泡在图书馆看完了余华的《活着》。我不明白该怎样去评价福贵这个人,说他不幸,他却度过了最为漫长而黑暗的一夜,乐观而坚强地活着;说他幸运,他又亲手埋葬了自我所有的亲人,只剩一头比他年纪还大的病牛陪伴着。
我看到两个福贵一样黝黑的脊背在余晖中发光,听到老人用浑浊的嗓音在空旷的田野间响起:少年去游荡,中年想掘藏,老年做和尚。整本书以老人的叙述为主,作者和我都是旁听者,坐在午时的山头上,听老人默默细数。正如作者所说,很少有人能这么详细地讲述自我的一生,我想这大概是因为福贵这大半辈子都用在回忆过去了,一个人守着7个人的人生,不断在脑海中放映,无论巨细。就像书中有这样一个情节,老人福贵责骂老牛福贵道:“今日有庆,家珍耕了2亩田,苦根还小,也耕了1亩田,你呢,我明白你年纪大了,也就不说出来羞你了。”我不解,明明那里就仅有一人一牛,哪儿来的那么多名字?福贵得意地解释说,:“如果它(牛)明白仅有它在耕作,就会偷懒的。”呵,多么趣味而忧伤的画面,其实福贵和他的牛一样,他们都假想着自我的亲人还在,所以从来不曾忘记。
故事的最终,黄昏正在转瞬即逝,黑夜从天而降了。我仿佛是想要哭出来的,但却又觉得连福贵自我都从未哭泣过,我又在那里流着谁的眼泪呢?
原先,《活着》便是最好的幸运,亦是最大的勇气。
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