在一个阳光明媚的春天里,一只小虫儿出生,它非常好动,刚出生就到处乱爬,东看看,西瞧瞧,经常要求妈妈让它自己出去旅行、去冒险,当小虫儿终于长到一岁的时候,在一天早上,小虫儿妈妈对它说:“你现在可以独自去冒险!”小虫儿听到兴奋极,连声说:“”谢谢……妈妈有些舍不得地说:“”儿子,你一定要回来啊!小虫儿赶紧说:“妈妈,没问题,放心吧!”
小虫儿拿起一块十分重要的交通工具,那就是昆虫世界必备的道具——桂花叶船,这种船是蜘蛛博士在一起历险中发现的,发现它的质量非常好,能装下十条小青虫呢,小虫儿跳上小船,用树枝当船,跟妈妈说:“把我推下小溪吧,我准备好。”小虫儿的船下水以后,就开始它的旅行。
在漂向大河的时候,有一条大草鱼发现它,准备随时撞翻它的船,吞它,刚漂进大河,大鱼就立刻跳出水面,把小虫儿的船撞翻,又赶紧把小虫儿咽进肚子,小虫儿在鱼肚子里不知待多少天,多少夜,直到有一天,终于出现一缕光明,原来是渔夫剖开鱼肚子,正准备烧呢。小虫儿赶紧爬到地上,看看有没有面包,它可饿坏。
这个时候小虫儿想起妈妈做的香喷喷的饭菜,它好想回家啊!它仿佛听到妈妈的呼唤,小虫儿振作起精神往家爬去!
有人喜欢夏天的风,可是夏天的风太闷热了;有人喜欢秋天的风,可是秋风太干燥了;有人喜欢冬天的风,可是冬风又太冷了。而我却喜欢那暖洋洋的春风。
春风是一位大画家,它来到哪里,哪里就被它用神奇的画笔,点上亮丽而独特的颜色。
春风来到田野里,田野立刻充满了勃勃生机。经过一个冬天的考验,小草终于坡上了绿袍,它们在风中快活地翩翩起舞;春风先把桃花吹开了,每枝树枝上只开着四五朵粉红的桃花,桃花小巧珍珑,仿佛是工匠精心雕刻出来的;梨花也开放了,那花朵洁白纯净,花瓣中没有一丝污点,花儿开满了整棵树,真是“忽如一夜春风来,千树万树梨花开”呀!在田野中,最壮观的景象应该是大片大片的油菜花吧。远远望去,油菜花地就像一大群黄色蝴蝶在飞舞,又像是散落一地的黄金,还像外出采风的画家打翻调色盘洒了一地黄颜料,那景色美丽极了!
春风离开了田野,现在要奔赴到城市。
春风来到城市,让公园的花草树木重新拔上美丽的新装。它用温暖唤醒万物,池塘边的柳树醒了,抽出嫩绿的新芽重新垂下长长的头发,那嫩绿的柳叶又细又长,用“不知细叶谁裁出二月春风似剪刀”来形容再合适不过了。人行道两边的紫荆花也开了,淡紫色的花儿向四面八方绽放开来,好看极了。
春风又绿江南岸!春风让我们身边的一切变得生机勃勃。
优爸点评:现在虽然已经渐渐入夏,但优爸还是从小作者的文章中感受到了“吹面不寒杨柳风”的春意,小作者真是把春风写活了呢!优爸想重点说一下文章的过渡,小作者很聪明地以春风的脚步作为段落之间的过渡,如“春风离开了田野,现在要奔赴到城市。”这样的语句承担了田野和城市两个场景之间的转换功能,很不错!具体说到内容,小作者巧妙运用拟人的修辞,让春风所到之处之景全部鲜活起来,小草在跳舞、柳树也醒了过来,处处都是勃勃生机的景象。另外,小作者对于画面的把控也很值得一说,田野的一段,草的绿、桃花的红以及遍地金黄的油菜花,多种色彩的交织形成一幅五彩缤纷的图景,真可谓文中有画了!
初稿
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money -it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
自评
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:23
互评(刘兴顺评)
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:23
互评(战越评)
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:
互评(李春霞评)
As is shown above, a leader father is sitting in the chair with a seal grasping in the hand, and a lot of money beside him. He seriously said to his son that there is more to life than just money it is power. Simple as the picture is, but a profound truth is reveled in the picture.
I surely disagree with father ’s philosophy. As a leader, he shouldn ’t use his power to make money. It is his duty to serve people wholeheartedly, just one person said “with great power comes great responsibility ”. If he stick to his philosophy. I believe that he will spend the rest of his life in prison. What’s worse, he could affect his son ’s philosophy, guiding him in the opposite direction , nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only solution is to change father ’s philosophy. Because of many greedy officials in China, it is time to reverse the trend itself by establishing new policy. As Chinese always has been our confidence that we can change for the better and better.
In my opinion, there is more to life than just money -it is happiness, nothing is important than happiness. We can live a colorful life in our spare time.
评分:
在我们城市很远很远的土地上,有一片古老的大森林,里面有好多好多的 小动物,它们安居乐业。彼此之间要好,就像一个大家庭。
在这个大家庭里,最令人崇敬的就是松鼠魔法师,它有着五花八门的魔法,使乡亲们不再受到坏蛋的伤害。
有一天,又是一个明媚早晨,松鼠魔法师照例早早地起床,吃早饭,便拿着飞毯出来散步,边散步还边唱歌:“吁,我是快乐的魔法师,漫步在大街上……!”路过的人都向它点头哈腰,谁叫它是赫赫有名的魔法师呢!
突然,从服装店旁闪出一个黑影,松鼠立刻警觉起来,原来是小狐狸,瞧他鬼鬼祟祟的样子,一定在干什么坏事!松鼠从口袋里掏出一样宝贝:“心思探测器”,往小狐狸一瞧,呀,他竟然要偷东西!小松鼠眼珠一转,计上心来。把手中的飞一抛,念着咒语:“……”,那飞毯就直朝小狐狸飞来,小狐狸还没有反应过来,就被飞毯载上天,它急得“哇哇”大叫,好像随时都要把松鼠吞似的。
随后,狗警察们跑过来,把小狐狸带走。
在一年一届的动物迎春晚会上,小松鼠发表自己的感言:“不要以为你是平凡的,但只要你有一颗惩恶扬善的心,就是好的。”
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