《完整的成长》的作者孙瑞雪是中国著名的教育家与儿童心理专家,被誉为中国蒙特梭利第一人。她是“爱和自由、规则与平等”教育精神的发起者和倡导者;历年来被CCTV、人民日报等国内外各大媒体竞相报道;千万家长心中的“育儿百宝箱”。
《完整的成长》继承并发展了《爱和自由》的核心思想,进一步讲述儿童如何在成人创造的外在世界中创造“自我”,如何让儿童成为自己身体、情绪、感觉、心理、认知和精神的主人,如何在关爱儿童的同时看到儿童自我成长的力量,将其培育为一个完整的人。它提倡对儿童生命的尊重,诠释完整的人与完整的成长的真正内涵,这本书最后还介绍了儿童发展的不同理论,以帮助我们读着更好地理解儿童的'发展规律及其发展过程。
何谓完整?《完整的成长》里所阐述的完整是表明一个人是丰满的、立体的、多个层面的。完整而不是完美。凡是人,都不可能会是完美的,无法也无需做到完美。这就告诉我们,人的完整需要一个完整的成长过程。这个成长过程即是儿童自我创造的过程。
自己创造自己意味着不把创造自己的权利交给别人,意味着不被他人强制性地闯入你的内在而塑造你,意味着不成为任何人的复制品。让孩子成为他自己,这是人成长的最核心,也是教育的最核心。
本书第九章《自我创造的历程》第一节《自我的萌芽:“我的”便便是我的》中,1岁半的麒儿有一次忽然很惊奇地盯着马桶观察着自己的便便,一连两三个月不但不让家人冲马桶,还牵着家人和他一起“欣赏”。在麒儿的有效的心灵中,生命里的一扇大门好像突然被打开了,一个奇妙的意识从这扇门里走了出来。也许,麒儿似乎在突然间发现了“自我”。这个创造性的发现,导致有一天,麒儿居然把自己在幼儿园拉的便便包的整整齐齐地带回了家,还不让妈妈碰。这足以见孩子对“我的”渴望达到了一种极限。我们已经无法理解“我的”对孩子的重要程度究竟达到了怎样的一种状态。
《完整的成长》一书中的真实案例,让我们成人清醒地意识到,虽然我们已错过这样的成长过程,但我们要学会站在孩子的角度立场和心理去设身处地地为他们着想和考虑,尽力给孩子创造和营建爱与自由、规则与平等的外在成长环境,让他们经历完整的成长,构建内在自我,成为完整的人。成就孩子,又何尝不是成就我们自己?
I was born in a beautiful town with high mountains around it.The mountains are covered with all kinds of green bamboo.Through the town runs a small stream.It’s said that a new railway is going to be built to the east of the town and a bamboo factory to the west.All the children of the school age can go to school.If anyone is ill,he can go to see the doctor in the newly-built hospital.People in the town are hard-working and never take the backwardness lying down.Though they are having a richer and better life,they are not satisfied with what they have got.They are working hard to build their town into a modern one.
1。 头绪分明,脉络清楚
写好记叙文,首先要头绪分明,脉络清楚,明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析,弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程,然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”,但动笔之前,围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。
2。 突出中心,详略得当
在文章的框架确定后,对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍,应该从表现文章主题的需要出发,分清主次,定好详略。要突出重点,详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节,略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化,使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题,也需要一定的技巧。如:
One night a man came to our house and told me, "There is a family with eight children。 They have not eaten for days。" I took some food with me and went。
When I finally came to that family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured (破坏外貌) by hunger。 There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger。
I gave the rice to the mother。 She divided the rice in two, and went out, carrying half the rice。 When she came back, I asked her, "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer, "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"
3。 用活语言,准确生动
记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动,又要表现力强,这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动,其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。
原文:
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away。 He was soon lost among people and traffic。 He could not find the way back home and started crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying。 They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened。 Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived。 The two students decided to take him home。 Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound。 She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money, but they didn't take it。 She served them with tea but they left。
修改后:
The other day, five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street。 After some time, he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home。 But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic。 When he could not find the way home, he started and crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop。 They immediately went up to him。
"Little boy, why are you standing here crying?" they asked。
"I want Mom, I go home。" said the boy, still crying。
"Don't worry, we'll send you home。"
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy's house。 With the help of a policeman, they finally found it。
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound, she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house。 Gratefully, she offered them some money, saying it was a way to express her thanks, but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea。
在丽达瑜伽工作,精神上的收获大于经济的收获,感谢有这样一个空间,汇集了智慧的人,很感谢在我对儿子成长过程迷惑时,有一位伽友为我介绍了这样一本书——《完整的成长》,不仅帮助我更好的给儿子一个成长环境,也帮助了我自己重新省视我的童年并更好的让自己成长。
我们成年人选择灵修或选择信仰或选择瑜伽修行等等,大多数人是因为心灵的困惑和痛苦不解,才去修的,只有少数人是为了更高一层的精神。
因为我自己就是这样,修来修去,仍然迷惑,控制来控制去,感觉压抑,当看过这本书以后,我才明白,原来是因为自己的内在一直都没有长成熟,长成熟的只是一个躯壳,我们的内在世界:情绪、感觉、心理、认知、精神,都没有很好的成长。
没能很好的成长,是因为我们小的时候,还很弱小的时候,被比我们强大的人给剥夺了。常常听到大人不让孩子哭,不让孩子闹,不让孩子这样,那样,却没有很细心的奈心的关注一下,孩子心里在想什么?他们想认知什么,感觉什么?今天还听到爷爷奶奶,为了孩子顺从他们的心意,而恐吓他,如果你要哭,爷爷就走了,如果你要和妈妈,奶奶就自己出去玩了,就带别的小朋友去玩了,孩子整天活在恐吓中,在他需要照顾的年龄,那么孩子就慢慢失去了自我,为了讨好大人的心意,去做违背自我的事,那我们小时候,可想而知,我们更是在这样的环境中成长出来的,所以我们没有了自我,会变成或倔强,或脆弱,或强势。
“在生活中,如果我们回到我们的内在,我们发现的应该是这样:我们有时是情绪的,有时是感觉的,有时是思维的,有时是心理的,有时是精神的……由于我们反它们看成是我们自己本身,所以它们便学步丰统治我们。所以,一会儿我们被情绪控制了,一会儿我们被心理控制了,一会儿我们被头脑控制了……就像我们很多人的生活一样。有时我们被别人控制了,有时我们控制了别人,有时被外在的环境控制了……内在也有着“权力斗争”。我们的内在也常常相互控制着,“政变”、“篡夺王位”,这就是我们内在的挣扎和焦虑。”
我们的身体里真的会有很多个小我,我自己清楚的感觉的到,出了事情的时候,常常会纠结,矛盾,痛苦,难过,或否定自己,降低自己的价值感,这种情绪却又找不到出口,于是只能把自己变的情绪化,因为内心的事情,可能牵连到一个和这个事无关的事情上,常常会想别人怎么怎么样,怎么怎么了,会抱怨,可能很少的面对自己的内心,问问自己内心怎么了?
没有诞生自我的人,依然可以依靠外力驯化成长,只是成长起来的人是一个“小我”,小我就是我们不自觉得在处事说话的时候,会反射出生命中某个人的影子,可能是妈妈,也可能是爸爸,或老师,或在你成长中侵入你精神里的一些人。
“由于小我是由外力促成,由外力驯化而成,因此小我就自然地时刻感应着外在的变换。外在的世界就是小我的镜子:外在的赞美,小我就倍感有价值;(我想这也是为什么很多人喜欢听好听的话,喜欢人拍马屁)外在贬斥,小我就倍感自卑;(所以,如果遇到一点别人对我们的否定,就会燃起内心的怒火或难过)外在风云变幻,小我的情绪、感觉、心理、念头也变化无常……你永远是外在的反应,你就没有尊严,没有自我价值感。想想我们成人,想想我们面对每一种关系时内在的变幻无常和动荡,我们自主、独立、定力的如如不动空间依赖什么?我们的喜悦、幸福依赖什么?我们的尊严和价值感空间依赖什么?我们空间是谁?”摘自《完整的成长》274页。
现在我们要考虑的是,如何做自己的主人,重新的把真正的自我找回来,那样,我们有一个完善的自我,就会是安宁的、安然的、清明的、喜悦的、理智的、智慧的、和谐的。我们的灵修也好,佛性也好,必自然的显现出来。
至少有两样东西可以帮助你成为自己的主人,以完善自我:内在的力量和爱。摘自《完整的成长》272页。
1。 叙述的人称
英语的记叙文一般是以第一或第三人称的角度来叙述的。用第一称表示的是由叙述者亲眼所见、亲耳所闻的经历。它的优点在于能把故事的情节通过“我”来传达给读者,使人到真实可信,如身临其境。如:
The other day, I was driving along the street。 Suddenly, a car lost its control and ran directly towards me fast。 I was so frightened that I quickly turned to the left side。 But it was too late。 The car hit my bike and I fell off it。
用第三人称叙述,优点在于叙述者不受“我”活动范围以内的人和事物的限制,而是通过作者与读者之外的第三者,直接把故事中的情节展现在读者面前,文章的客观性很强。如:
Little Tom was going to school with an umbrella, for it was raining hard。 On the way, he saw an old woman walking in the rain with nothing to cover。 Tom went up to the old woman and wanted to share the umbrella with her, but he was too short。 What could he do? Then he had a good idea。
2。 动词的时态
在记叙文中,记和叙都离不开动词。所以动词出现率最高,且富于变化。记叙文中用得最多的是动词的过去的',这是英语记叙文区别于汉语记叙文的关键之处。英语写作的优美之处就在于这些动词时态的变化,正是这一点才使得所记、所叙有鲜活的动态感、鲜明的层次感和立体感。
3。 叙述的顺序
记叙一件事要有一定的顺序。无论是顺叙、倒叙、插叙还是补叙,都要让读者能弄清事情的来龙去脉。顺叙最容易操作,较容易给读者提供有关事情的空间和时间线索。但这种方法也容易使文章显得平铺直叙,读起来平淡乏味。倒叙、插叙、补叙等叙述方法能有效地提高文章的结构效果,让所叙之事跌宕起伏,使读者在阅读时思维产生较大的跳跃,从而为文章所吸引,深入其中。但这些方法如果使用不当,则容易弄巧成拙,使文章结构散乱,头绪不清,让读者不知所云。
4。 叙述的过渡
过渡在上下文中起着承上启下、融会贯通的作用。过渡往往用在地点转移或时间、事件转换以及由概括说明到具体叙述时。如:
In my summer holidays, I did a lot of things。 Apart form doing my homework, reading an English novel, watching TV and doing some housework, I went on a trip to Qingdao。 It is really a beautiful city。 There are many places of interest to see。 But what impressed me most was the sunrise。
The next morning I got up early。 I was very happy because it was a fine day。 By the time I got to the beach, the clouds on the horizon were turning red。 In a little while, a small part of the sun was gradually appearing。 The sun was very red, not shining。 It rose slowly。 At last it broke through the red clouds and jumped above the sea, just like a deep-red ball。 At the same time the clouds and the sea water became red and bright。
What a moving and unforgettable scene!
5。 叙述与对话
引用故事情节中主要人物的对话是记叙文提高表现力的一种好方法。适当地用直接引语代替间接的主观叙述,可以客观生动地反映人物的性格、品质和心理状态,使记叙生动、有趣,使文章内容更加充实、具体。试比较下面两段的叙述效果:
I was in the kitchen, and I was cooking something。 Suddenly I heard a loud noise from the front。 I thought maybe someone was knocking the door。 I asked who it was but I heard no reply。 After a while I saw my cat running across the parlor。 I realized it was the cat。 I felt released。
这本来应是一段故事性很强的文字,但经作者这么一写,就不那么吸引人了。原因是文中用的都是叙述模式,没有人物语言,把“悬念”给冲淡了。可作如下调整:
I was in the kitchen cooking something。 "Crash!" a loud noise came from the front。 Thinking someone was knocking at the door, I asked, "Who?" No reply。 After a while, I saw my cat running across the parlor。 "It's you。" I said, quite released。
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