这篇文章的叙写力避空洞抽象,例如“忙碌”本是个抽象的概念,作者连用四个“有的……”铺陈,以繁笔具体表现“忙碌”的各种表现,渲染紧张的气氛,给人如临其境的感觉;本文主体部分都是写“他们的歌”,是不是离题?不。因为这些叙写都是为了突出“我的歌”的美丽——不计得失、默默无闻、尽力尽责、助人为乐的精神,是表现主题的侧面描写。
洁白的球鞋
去年秋天,我报名参加学校运动会。比赛前一天,我找出了心爱的白球鞋,把它放在桌子上。(这是伏笔,但应该写一写此时的心情,以便与下文的心理构成对照这时,妈妈叫了我一声。我一回头,手正好碰到墨水瓶,墨水洒到了球鞋上。我慌了,赶忙扶起墨水瓶,可已经来不及了,白球鞋染成了“花球鞋”,我急得浑身冒汗。(这时内心怎么想?应有心理描写妈妈见我愣在那儿,不解地问:“曙儿,怎么了?”边说边走了过来。我指着白球鞋,生气地说:“你看看!你看看!”妈妈看了看那双“花球鞋”,脸上露出歉意,连声说:“都怪我不好,我明天给你洗。”“那明天我穿什么?”我带着哭腔嚷道。妈妈默默站着,紧皱着眉头,一句话也没说。我一赌气,回到房里就睡觉了。
半夜时分,我被冻醒了。窗外呼呼地刮着西北风,恐怕是今年的寒潮提早来了吧。我不禁打了个寒颤,裹紧了棉被。想起白天的“球鞋风波”,我暗暗埋怨自己,明天应该向妈妈道歉。这时,见屋外灯还亮着并且传来轻轻的“刷刷”声。我推门一看,妈妈正仔细刷鞋,我的泪水不禁涌了出来。我站在原地一动不动,心潮起伏。(“想到”的内容具体是什么?“起伏”的“心潮”有哪些?心理描写要作补充妈妈刷鞋的手似乎有点哆嗦,十指也好像不太听使唤了。我看着妈妈,怨气早已飞到九霄云外,我一下子扑过去:“妈妈,您,您去睡吧……”
妈妈回过头微笑地说:“曙儿,你看,这鞋明天就可以穿了。”
我嗫嚅着不知说什么好。(“嗫嚅”是外表,内心呢?要适当展开第二天,我穿着这双白球鞋飞跑在跑道上,仿佛浑身充满了力量,第一个冲过终点。颁奖时的一瞬,让我终生难忘。
每当我捧读这张照片,总会感慨万千。那双白球鞋已经嫌小,淡出了我的生活,但那去除污点后的洁白却一直留在了我的心中,净化着我的心灵……
四级英语很快就要到来了,英语是占据重要的部分,快来看看下面的范文及写作指导吧。
下面请看一篇漫画式命题的作文预测题:
Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay based on the picture below. You should express your views on the impact of air pollution. You should write at least 120 words but no more than 180 words.
【参考模板范文】
The Impact of Air Pollution
The cartoon vividly reveals the phenomenon of air pollution or the decline of air quality. In the cartoon we can see the air pollution is so serious that the earth can't bear it.
What exactly contribute to this phenomenon? Possible reasons can be listed as follows: firstly, vehicle exhaust gases could be one of the most leading causes. With the improvement of economy and people's living standard, urban inhabitants in mounting numbers own their private cars. More automobiles will inevitably generate more exhaust gases. Additionally, household appliances widely used in cities also release a great amount of carbon dioxide gases, which further intensifies air pollution. Last but not least, many factories around the cities emit large quantities of untreated poisonous gases, which should also be responsible for the decline of air quality.
Definitely, air pollution will exert a detrimental impact on many aspects of people's life. For example, many diseases such as cough, skin problem and lung cancer are caused by it. Perhaps it is high time that we should adopt some measures to solve the problem of air pollution.
英语漫画作文写作指导
第一、读图审题
四级漫画作文中的漫画通常反映一个社会现象或生活哲理,要求考生根据自己对漫画的理解来写作。因此,要写好四级漫画作文,审题格外重要。考生在下笔之前要仔细看漫画,弄清漫画的寓意,这是文章切题的保证。此外,在本次四级考试的三道写作题中,Directions部分都给出了写作内容的大致方向,这也为考生把握漫画寓意提供了帮助。下面笔者就来逐一梳理2013年6月四级作文的三幅漫画及其传达的寓意。
第二、谋篇布局
在把握文章的主旨之后,考生就可以构思整篇文章的架构了。四级漫画作文的写作可以分为下面三个段落。
第一段:开门见山,简要描述一下漫画内容,并指出漫画的寓意。描述漫画内容是为了揭示其中的寓意,是手段而不是目的,所以描述要简洁明快,一般来说一句话足矣。需要提醒考生的是,写作的Directions部分虽然给出了大致的写作主题,但是也要求考生对漫画进行简要描述,因此考生切不可抛开漫画内容直接展开议论。
第二段:表达考生对漫画寓意的看法,这是文章的重心所在。比如,就第一道写作题目而言,考生应在第二段阐述阅读文学作品的重要性;就第二道写作题目而言,考生应在第二段论述为什么凡事必须从小事做起;就第三道写作题目而言,考生应在第二段论述掌握基本技能的重要性。
第三段:指出漫画的寓意对大学生的教育意义,或者提出解决问题的建议。考生需要注意的是,结尾段一般并不需要实质性的分析,其主要作用是总结和升华,使文章结构完整。所以结尾段的写作要简明扼要,点到即止。
第三、论证方法
漫画作文的'第二段要表达考生对漫画寓意的看法,这是文章的核心段落,也是作文字数达到要求的关键。因此,考生在这一段要浓墨重彩,写深、写透。在写这一段时,考生要尽量摆事实、讲道理,避免空泛的议论。针对这一核心段落,笔者在此推荐以下三种展开议论的常用方法,希望对考生有所启发。
1.条分缕析
在写作第二段时,考生可以从2~3个方面对观点展开论述,这种写法可使文章显得层次清楚、条理清晰。例如,本次四级作文第一道题目的第二段需要阐述阅读文学作品的重要性,考生就可以从以下两个方面展开:第一,相对于电子媒体,文学阅读更能培养人的想象力;第二,阅读文学作品能够帮助我们更好地了解社会。请参考下面的范文。
There wasa time when children could relish (欣赏/ 也可以使用appreciate 替换 literature. But childrentoday can enjoy the sounds and action on a TV or computer screen. “So why bother reading?” some ask. The reasonis obvious: It enriches our imagination. When we read apiece of literature, we are living the life of RobinHood or starting an adventure with Tom Sawyer. In addition, literature is the mirror of society,whether it be poetry, drama or fiction. We know thesociety better through literature.
2.举例论证
如果漫画所传达的是抽象的人生哲理,那么考生在论述时最好能举出具体的事例,尽量避免空洞的说教。比如,就本次四级作文第二道题目而言,考生可以在第二段中举出一些成功人士如何从小事做起的例子。笔者下面提供的范文中用到的是哈兰·桑德斯上校从一个小吃店做起,最后缔造出遍布全球的肯德基快餐帝国的例子,用以证明只有从小事做起,才能成就大事。请看下面的范文。
Everything is smallbefore it is big. A good example is KFC. In 1930 Colonel Harland Sanders beganserving food to his service station customers in Corbin, a city in Kentucky. He fried chicken in his own kitchen andperfected his secret recipe there. From the small roadside eatery, he went on to build an empire of fast food.
3.类比论证
如果漫画中的寓意不容易通过具体的事例来证明,那么考生还可以使用类比论证的方法,即通过打比方来论证一个抽象的道理。比如,对于本次四级作文的第三道题目,考生可以在第二段中用学习打篮球的过程来打比方。学习打篮球时,只有先学会了投球、运球、传球这些基本技能,才能进一步学习高难度的技能。以此类推,无论做任何事情,只有掌握了基本的技能,才可能取得更大的成功。此外,考生还可以举出统计数字,用具体的研究结果来证明论点。请看下面的范文。
Simple as they mayseem, basic skills serve as the first link in the chain of success. Thisis analogous to learning to play basketball. If shooting, dribbling and passing are not mastered,learning advanced skills will become difficult, if notimpossible. A growing body of research has also documented that such basicskills as reading, writing and computing are highlycorrelated with success later in life. A 2012 study surveyed 300 CEOs ofFortune 500 companies and found that 87% attributed part of their success tothe basic skills they learned in primary school.
听了这个故事,你是否对赵匡胤的言而无信感到愤怒?又是否对大将的不以为意而感到无奈?小学课本上,倡导要做个守信之人,但社会并不是教科书,如果事事都遵循书面语言,人是无法在社会上存活的,社会如同一个丛林,没有哪个人会独自编写丛林的生存法则,但所有的居民心里都有一套,这或许有些冷酷,但却无比真实。
“你家孩子长得太美了”“你的女儿学习这么好,以后肯定会有出息!”“你儿子这么懂事,就等着以后享福吧。”……我打包票,这些话一定被你的七大姑八大姨提及过。长得略有姿色,就说像明星;学习在中游以上,皆称清华北大的`好苗子;实在没有优点,就夸他是个善良的孩子……过年走亲戚,夸人宝典你值得拥有。
恐怕,没人会把以上的话当真,哪怕你是只蛤蟆,也会有人说:“哇!金蟾蜍!”这种说辞虚伪又不走心,但如果实话实说:“恕我直言你的脸像女版赵本山,男版贾玲。”这天儿还有得聊吗?客套话,不招人喜欢,但不可或缺。当然,听了夸奖,难免有些飘飘然,但请克制自己,擦亮火眼金睛——他们的夸奖不是因为你优秀,而是因为你和他们有血缘关系,或是利益来往。
总而言之,你可以厌恶客套话,甚至可以恨不得把说它的人砸成肉饼。但最终必须要笑脸相迎,以客套还客套,接受它,才能维持良好的人际关系,才能保持正常的沟通,换个角度想,这也算是一种夸奖和鼓励呢。正因赵匡胤的豪言壮语,宋军才得以气势大涨,势如破竹,最终使敌人铩羽而归呀。
有些时候,诚实回答倒不如违心赞美。而聪明人的做法就是接受它,运用它,让日常交往更加开心快乐。接受客套话,是每个人长大以后步入社会的第一课。
Dear Mary,
You said in your letter that many of your classmates wore fashionableclothes, but you couldn't afford them so you felt very depressed. There are dif-ferent views on people's clothes. The followings are my ideas:
Firstly, you shouldn't put too much emphasis on physical appearance.
Remember that the most important task for you today is to concentrate on yourstudies. No matter what you wear, you will really look your best when youcome out first in your examinations.
Secondly, you should understand that it is a fine virtue to live in fru-gality. Just as a famous saying goes, Frugality is the mother of virtue.
Since your family can't provide you with enough money to buy fashionableclothes, it is all the more necessary for you to try to lighten the financialburden of your family. And you will find the virtue of frugality benefit youa lot in your future life.
I hope you understand what I mean. Hope you will take a positive attitudetowards life and will be happy again when you read my letter.
Yours,
Anne
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