……不仅……而且……,……不但……还……,……不但不……反而……,……连……也……,……何况……,……甚至……
“以我之情观万物,万物皆着我色”,情感不同,所描写的景物就不同,以情染景,情景交融,把所表达的情感寄寓在所描写的景物之中,通过描写景物予以抒发。如作文《那脚印,那亲情……》的结尾:“昏暗的路灯下,雪还在飞舞着。我杲呆地注视着雪地上那渐渐向远处延伸的脚印。这脚印,与其说印在雪地上,倒不如说烙在我的心坎上。这一行脚印,越来越远,脚印的尽头,父亲的背影也愈来愈小……”作者宛如一位画家,寥寥几笔,以景带情,渲染出一幅父爱的图画。
Nowadays, many famous university campuses have become one of the popular tourist attractions. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that every year thousands and thousands of middle school students visit Tsing Hua University and Peking University and other famous universities in China. In the place far away from the capital city, the local students also visit the universities famous in their own province.
So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to open the university campus for tourists? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing for the students to visit the famous university campus in that it can enable the middle students to get more information about the university and they can have enough time and opportunity to prepare themselves with the chance to get into the university. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the public tourism will have negative effect on the universities because it will not only do harm to the environment but also to the intellectual atmosphere.
In my opinion, the tourism to the universities is not a good thing. The campus is mainly a place for study. With the increasing tourism on the campus, it will ruin the spiritual atmosphere in this learning field.
首先,提纯范文 “谋篇布局”及结构模板。
第一段:提出问题或现象。Nowadays, … … have become one of the popular … …. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that … ….
第二段:正反列举人们的看法。So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to … …? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing for … … in that … …. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, … … will have negative effect on … … because it will not only do harm to … … but also to … ….
第三段:摆明自己观点。In my opinion, … … is not a good thing. … … With the increasing … …, it will ruin … ….
其次,提纯范文“段落写作”。
段落写作分为统一性,连贯性和完整性三方面。
统一性(unity:段落开头的主题句应该做到不可太宽泛,也不可太具体,做到有较强的概括性才能使下文做到有的放矢的展开。范文第二段首句以设问的方式提出一个问题is it a good or bad thing就有很强的概况性。下文自然会一方面从好的方面说明,另一方面从坏的方面说明。
连贯性(coherence:关联词是使文章段落之间相互连贯的必要条件。范文中nowadays, on one hand, on the other hand, in one’s opinion即以“启承转合”递进的顺序是文章条理清晰,层层展开。
完整性(completeness:以设问句“So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to open the university campus for tourists?”开头,这是平时较少运用的段落写作方式——设问法。“On one hand … …. On the other hand, … ….”是段落写作分类列举法的典型用法。
再次,提纯范文“句子写作”。
1. It has been shown that … …
类似句型:It is known to us that … …
It is said that … …
It is reported that … …
It is controversial that … …
2. “… … Tsing Hua University and Peking University and other famous universities … …。”——并列句。并列句是简单的复杂句。但其运用方法并不简单,注意练习并接句的使用,会使句子显的更加饱满。
3. enable v. 使…能够
I gave him full directions to enable him to find the house.
4. in that = because
表“因为”的连词还有since, for, as,如:
The boy was absent because he was ill. = The boy was absent since he was ill.
此句以我们常用的人称开头,句式简单,我们可以通过把since提前改变句式,如:
Since the boy was ill, he was absent. 句式多样化。
最后,提纯范文“措辞”。
1. attraction n. 具有吸引力的事情。
2. thousands and thousands 成千上万的
形容“多”的表达方法:millions and millions
a multitude of
a great deal of
a large amount of
plenty of
many a
3. “some people argued that … …”中的“argue”并不是“讨论,辩论”的意思,而是“认为”。
I argue that … …
I maintain that … …
I claim that … …
I insist that … … = I think that … …
I hold that … …
I assert that … …
I assume that … …
4. negative adj. 否定的.,相反的
hold negative view = hold opposite opinions
5. phenomenon n. 现象
social phenomenon 社会现象
natural phenomenon 自然现象
6. intellectual adj. 聪明的= intelligent, bright, clever
(选词策略:使用最近所学的单词,如intellectual > intelligent > bright > clever
在分析并掌握范文之后,我们需要运用范文知识练习仿写。笔者运用2005年12月范文中的模板结构仿写了2006年12月的四级作文,以供参考:
1. 许多人喜欢在除夕夜看春节晚会
2. 但有些人提出取消春节晚会
3. 我的看法
Nowadays, the Spring Festival Evening has become one of the popular topic and attractions during every traditional New Year’s Eve. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that every year thousands and thousands of Chinese people appear to be accustomed to enjoying the sights and sounds of a brilliant feast, while gathering with their beloved family.
However, an increasing number of people have voiced different opinions towards it. So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to cancel the Spring Festival Evening? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing to amuse the audience in that it is composed by a numerous adequate programs, such as the emotional song, the graceful dance, the funny short sketch, the amusing comic dialogue, the delightful magic, and the marvelous acrobatics and so on. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the Spring Festival Evening will have negative effect on the family harmony because it will not only do harm to having the talks between family members on the Spring Festival Eve but also to enjoying the gourmet meal in a fancy restaurant.
In my opinion, the Spring Festival Evening is a good thing. It may not remain a must for all people, but it can bring us a strong sense of festivity and serve as an alternative among the variety of holiday activities. With the increasing audience of the Spring Festival Evening, it will ruin a distinctive culture during the Spring Festival vacation.
因为……所以……,由于……因此……,既然……那么……
接下来请欣赏《六国论》中一段精彩论述:
六国破灭,非兵不利,战不善,弊在赂秦。赂秦而力亏,破灭之道也。或曰:“六国互丧,率赂秦耶?”曰:“不赂者以赂者丧,盖失强援,不能独完。故曰‘弊在赂秦’也!”
此段论述,作者仅仅用了一个关联词语“故”却体现出严密的逻辑思维,让人无懈可击。作者开头就指出中心论点“六国破灭,非兵不利,战不善,弊在赂秦。赂秦而力亏,破灭之道也”,但也有几个国家并非如此,于是作者就退一步提出“不赂者以赂者丧,盖失强援,不能独完”的\'分论点,最后用一“故”字做出因果判断,让人信服。
其实我们不难发现,在运用关联词语的本身就是在说理,而此种说理不是材料的简单罗列堆砌,而是通过严密逻辑思维或假设、或因果推断、或条件推断来阐述自己要表达的观点。鲁迅先生的杂文是极富逻辑思辨的,《灯下漫笔》可见一斑:
任凭你爱排场的学者们怎样铺张,修史时候设些什么“汉族发祥时代”“汉族发达时代”“汉族中兴时代”的好题目,好意诚然是可感的,但措辞太绕弯子了。有更直截了当的说法在这里——
一,想做奴隶而不得的时代;
二,暂时做稳了奴隶的时代。
这一种循环,也就是“先儒”之所谓“一治一乱”;那些作乱人物,从后日的“臣民”看来,是给“主子”清道辟路的,所以说:“为圣天子驱除云尔。”现在入了那一时代,我也不了然。但看国学家的崇奉国粹,文学家的赞叹固有文明,道学家的热心复古,可见于现状都已不满了。然而我们究竟正向着那一条路走呢?百姓是一遇到莫名其妙的战争,稍富的迁进租界,妇孺则避入教堂里去了,因为那些地方都比较的“稳”,暂不至于想做奴隶而不得。总而言之,复古的,避难的,无智愚贤不肖,似乎都已神往于三百年前的太平盛世,就是“暂时做稳了奴隶的时代”了。
区区几段文字,却连用了好几个关联词语,并列、转折、因果,说理层层递进,不乏辛辣讽刺。
在平时训练的时候,我们不妨多多开动脑筋,不要简单去思考问题,而要多问几个为什么,想想前因后果,懂得迂回曲折,思维的成熟是离不开思考的。记得,一次课上我要学生用关联词词语写一段有关“弯曲”的语句,一位女生写道:
人生当中,比我们强大的对手不胜枚举,所以适当的弯曲有时也是一种明智的选择。弯曲不是耻辱和无能,不是阿谀逢迎、摧眉折腰,而是让我们了悟身后还有另一条路可以选择,这是一种人生境界。
此段话,貌似简短,其实却包涵了思辨色彩,读来令人深思。
最后请欣赏湖北高考满分作文《大隐隐于市》:
古人有言:小隐隐于山,大隐隐于市。
在我们的印象中,只是仙人道士必傍山而居,不闻世事。蔡志忠曾以漫画对此作了解释:仙,“人”在“山”旁则为仙;“山”中之“人”真仙也。看来,
古时造字便点明了其中真意。
傍山而居,和山水融为一体,这本来就是不食人间烟火的象征,偏又练就一身道行,渗透了无尽禅意,方才以道入土,归隐于山。千百年来,文人墨客莫不对此动了凡心。其中,陶渊明便是这样一个典型,当他一篇《桃花源记》出世,那颗厌倦仕途,向往幻想中的桃花源的心也就出世了。是的,他想要的是归隐,是闲适,是宁静的生活,可是如果不是官场失意,怀才不遇,桃花源这么一个避难所就要永远与他绝缘,并远离世俗而绝迹于他未来纯朴的生活。
To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.
一沙一世界,
一花一天堂,
手中即无限,
永恒亦短暂。
即通过对亲身经历的往事的回忆,通过对经历、体验的述说,以激起感情的波澜;因事而动情,在叙述的字里行间蕴含深沉的感情。如作文《生活需要感动》,情真而意切,把抽象的感悟“感动”通过大量具体的意象表现出来:“在你心情不如意的时候”、“在你生病的时候”、“在你学习紧张的时候”……通过这些具体的意象表达了“人随时随地都在感动,随时随地都在感动别人”的生活感悟。
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