最近偶然读了一篇中篇小说《最慢的是活着》,是以奶奶和“我”,两个女人从“水火不容”到相容,再到相依,进而相亲相爱的祖孙关系发展为线索,“我”经历了人生的风雨后,才慢慢理解奶奶的智慧哲学,潜意识里也不自觉的传承了奶奶的人生观。人生就是如此,代代相传传。
“不用想,也忘不掉。”她说,“钉子进了墙,锈也锈到里头了。”
“真正的委屈是笑在脸上哭在心里的。无处诉,无人诉,不能诉,不敢诉,得生生闷熟在日子里。”
“她让我知道:这个世界上,总会有人不喜欢你,你会成为别人不愉快的理由。你从来就没有资本那么自负,自大,自傲。从而让我怀着无法言喻的隐忍、谦卑和自省,以最快的速度长大成人。”
“你守寡太多年了。”我犹豫片刻,一句话终于破口而出,“男女之间的事情,你早就不懂了。”
静了片刻,我听见她轻轻地笑了一声。
“没男人,是守寡。”她语调清凉,“有了不能指靠的男人,也是守寡。”
“怎么寡?”我坐起来。
“心寡。”她说。
我怔住
“每个人都有不安分的毒,这毒的总量是恒定的,不过是发作的时机不同而已。这事不发那事发,此处不发彼处发,迟不发早发,早不发迟发,早早迟迟总要发作出来才好。”
“我的祖母已经远去。可我越来越清楚地知道:我和她的真正间距从来就不是太宽。无论年龄,还是生死。如一条河,我在此,她在彼。我们构成了河的两岸。当她堤石坍塌顺流而下的时候,我也已经泅到对岸,自觉地站在了她的旧址上。我的`新貌,在某种意义上,就是她的陈颜。我必须在她的根里成长,她必须在我的身体里复现,如同我和我的孩子,我的孩子和我孩子的孩子,所有人的孩子和所有人孩子的孩子。
“活着这件原本最快的事,也因此,变成了最慢。生命将因此而更加简约,博大,丰美,深邃和慈悲。这多么好。”
优美细腻的文字,细水慢流的人生,人活过的痕迹,平凡中不失温暖的爱,通篇几乎都是静止不动的,没有故事情节的叙述,都是在平静的叙述中蕴涵着生活和生命的至大的真理。于是爱上了作者乔叶,才知道她是以散文见长,河南省文学院最年轻的专业作家,“中原大地上的紫色牡丹”。
有人说:好的小说,它的语言有一种特殊的穿透力,给你触电似得感觉,像情话,令你不自觉的回味,言浅却意深。这话实在在道理!
棺材是两个,一大一小。大的是她,小的是祖父。祖父的棺材里只放了他的一套衣服。他要和奶奶合葬,用他的衣冠。灵桌上的照片也是两个人的,放在一起却有些怪异:祖父还停留在二十八岁,奶奶已经是八十三岁了。
I would rather say when that day eventually arrived we were not so sorrowful as imagined, also, the traditional custom didn’t allow too much sadness. She passed away at the age of 83, that was an enviable life span. As for her death, it seemed like an occasion on which the funeral turned to be a celebration. A number of relatives came, they cried on the funeral but then we ate, slept and chatted, as normal. Every time when my sister was about to go to sleep she said to the coffin, “Good night, grandma.”
And then she turned back to us, “Grandma loves us she will surly let us have some sleep.”
We laughed and agreed, as if our grandma were still around us.
There were two coffins, grandma slept in the bigger one while the smaller one was for my grandpa, not his body, but some of his old clothes. In his will several decades ago he told his family if he became a missing corpse in the war, he would be buried with his wife after she passed away, using his clothes to represent his body.
The photos of the couple put on the table also looked strange. My grandma was 83 while my grandpa was always at the age of 28, for all the past half a century.
我看着一小一大两个棺材。它们不像是夫妻,而像是母子。我看着灵桌上一青一老两张照片。也不像是夫妻,而是母子。为什么啊?为什么每当面对祖母的时候,我就会有这种身份错乱的感觉?会觉得父亲是她的孩子,母亲是她的孩子,就连祖父都变成了她的孩子?不,不止这些,我甚至觉得村庄里的每一个人,走在城市街道上的每一个人都像是她的孩子。仿佛每一个人都可以做她的孩子,她的怀抱适合每个人。
我甚至觉得,我们每一个人的样子里,都有她,她的样子里,也有我们每一个人。
与此同时,她其实,也是我们每一个人的'孩子。
I stared at the two coffins, they didn’t look like those belonging to a couple, but more likely to be a mother and her son. Then I saw the photos on the table, they also seemed to be mother and son. Why? Why I had the feeling of strange identity disorder when I stood in front of my grandma? I always felt my father and mother, now together with my grandpa, were all her children, even anyone in the village and anyone walking past the streets were her children. It seemed that her embrace could warm everyone in the world.
I even had the feeling that everyone of us can identify the parts of faces and bodies which are inherited from her, our appearances have something similar to hers more or less. She was everyone’s mother.
At the same time, when she died but we continue to grow old, she became a child of us to some extent.
我的祖母已经远去。可我越来越清楚地知道:我和她的真正间距从来就不是太宽。无论年龄,还是生死。如一条河,我在此,她在彼。我们构成了河的两岸。当她堤石坍塌顺流而下的时候,我也已经泅到对岸,自觉地站在了她的旧址上。
我必须在她的根里成长,她必须在我的身体里复现,如同我和我的孩子, 我的孩子和我孩子的孩子,所有人的孩子和所有人孩子的孩子。
活着这件事变成了最慢。生命将因此而更加简约,博大,丰美,深邃和慈悲。
My grandma had left us. However, I know very clearly that the distance between she and I is always short. We are closed as we were, no matter what happens. The life and death are like two sides of a river, I am here and she is beyond the river. When her soul float downstream and disappear in my sight I know I will swim across the water and stand on where she once stayed.
I must grow inside her root system, she must reappear inside my body, like my daughter, like my granddaughter, like the child of everyone.
Living on earth is a slow process. Life is simple, deep, beautiful and full of kindness.
成长是快乐的,但也是痛苦的,难免会遇到挫折,遇到困难,我也和别人一样,遇到挫折会丧失信心,但这时候我遇到了我成长路上的一盏灯,她在我处于黑暗时,为我照亮,使我勇敢地面对现实……
每当出黑板报时,我总能看见她那矮小的身影,在黑板上画这画那,为黑板报增添一份亮色。
有一天早上,我没有看到她,心中总有一些不安。后来她的家长来了,说她生病住院了,可能要过几个月才能来上学。我听到后,心中一阵阵凄惨,平时成绩优秀,对班级关心至极,常常被老师夸奖的她,为什么老天对她如此不公!让这么一个瘦弱而优秀的女生受尽病痛的折磨,让她饱受煎熬……
漫长的一个月过去了,她又回来上课了,可为什么一看见她就不太认识了呢?本来瘦瘦的脸蛋变得胖胖的了,最后我才得知是药物作用。虽然她现在仍然忍受着病痛的折磨,可是她却抱病来上学,这种精神是多么令人敬佩,顽强的毅力深深感染了我,她能忍着病痛的折磨来上学,而我又为什么不能勇敢地面对挫折呢?
她,是我成长路上的一盏灯,她用她顽强的精神来鼓励我,让我深深地到她那矮小的身影背后流露出的是一种巨大的力量!
她——我们班上的中队长、班长,更是一名优秀的团员。
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